Tag: Miner Don’t Beat Your Wife!

Miner, Don’t Beat Your Wife! – Part 2

Previously on James315.Space… Rob-MMC’s wife was driving the family mining business into bankruptcy, and he needed 300 billion isk… fast!

ROB-MMC > The website is saying Im at a plex limit for today…..this is dumb…..aint yall the code……it wont let me buy more than the 500 plex i just bought…

ROB-MMC > I bought 2500 plexs and now they say i have to wait…..I thought you guys controlled the game……Can yall allow me to purchase more Plex as 300 bil ISK is not easy to get

Oxycon > Please bio mass all your characters

Rob’s bank didn’t trust him with money, and he began to feel desperate, contemplating a little illegal mining.

ROB-MMC > You cant mine in low or null sec as they kill you on site and say go back to hi sec…..so where the fuck do you mine…ha ha ha…..I really am trying to know

BillNye TheGankerGuy > karmafleet is recruiting

ROB-MMC > Lmmfao………Karmafleet they have killed me several times….they ran me from Amarr and Minmater space….they are mean as hell and hate everyone

ROB-MMC > Thsi was wayyy back in Oshiama………..I was happy here….but they just wanted war…….and they dropped my orcas like flyes…….ha ha ha…..so I moveed here and now yall at war as well…

ROB-MMC > When you ask to join they deny you…..its like high school

ROB-MMC > So people like me need a new game as this is a friends only game….see CCP needs to say that like only join if you have friends……so confusing

Dom Arkaral > something something make friends? git gud

It occurred to Rob that football players and cheerleaders were probably doing well in EVE, and meanwhile he was just a bitter jellybear.

ROB-MMC >  Ive lost 6 orcas I thought they was going for my orca, but hit my wife……..thanks alot….but still i just want to be safe in hi sec

mat Otsito > high sec is by far the most dangerous place

Rob’s sob story was pitiful, but he still owed 300’000’000’000 isk to James 315.

ROB-MMC > I cant afford that and cant buy the plex…so I should quit and go beat the fuck out my wife as she the cause and now I cant do shit on my off day but look at her…..Yeak slapping the shit out of her…..soon as i guess log off….yall hate me now and will kill on sight thanks for the info and I should have kept this game to myself as bitches ruin everything

mat Otsito > what?

ROB-MMC > ok ok……..fuck the other 2 accts, she omega and my son is alpha……..Ill delete them now……..Can I have my main released from this EVE ass courtroom……I wanna mine….I just told this bitch she will be a single homeless parent she touch my fucking eve game…….so can i please get back to mining

Sun-Tzu Rollard > are you admitting that you are account sharing?

ROB-MMC > Im on her account fuck yes….cause she caused this….i docked my main and he sitting there……..

Oxycon > ROB434 Mays I guess this is your main then

ROB-MMC > YESSSSSSS can you not block or red flag him please

The discovery of another ROB account revealed endless pain and heartbreak…

Rob was ready to kill his entire family…

ROB-MMC > But I have 3 computers ijn my house and only use one at a time….thats why its 3 accts not 1 acct and 2 alts
ROB-MMC > I play my way and they play theres
ROB-MMC > I can delete this acct now and my son shit can be gone as we;ll

If allowing the miner to vent his profanities toward me in local saves his wife or children one extra beating, that’s something I’ll gladly take. The miner has to take it out on somebody, and I’d rather it be me than some household full of children out there.

In his infinite wisdom, James 315 foresaw such depravity, and agents of the CODE are trained to intervene and assist troubled miners.

mat Otsito > can i have your stuff before you biomass
Oxycon > Are you having some sort of mental breakdown?
Lord Osama3rd Hita > lol
Dom Arkaral > ↑

The miner was relieved to find someone he could talk to…

ROB-MMC > I work 16 hr shift at work and I play this game everyday there and its my peace of mind…….and yes i am if i have to kill this bitch for ruining my game…..she be facebook, instagram…….all that stupid shit…but wanna fuck up my eve…she lucky im on her acct trying to save it and not kicking her ass til I feel better or find 300 bil in ISK

ROB-MMC > stupid ass girl…i wanna kill her

Dom Arkaral > uhm

ROB-MMC > I was enjoying my day,,,,,,and this goof ass girl and made enemies with yall and now she upfront looking stupid and all yall wanna kill me for her stupidity

BillNye TheGankerGuy > get some help

Dom Arkaral > just log off

Knowledgeminer > wtf

Rob’s audience was increasingly appalled by his toxic masculinity, but one veteran goofus piped up to express miner solidarity.

Kariza Yang > Honestly. I can relate. I’m a disabled combat vet and play to relax.

Miners disgust me.

BONUS CONTENT: Back in 2015, James 315 created the The Official Twitter Account for Minerbumping and the New Order of Highsec.For the past five years, he has retained this closely guarded communications channel, utilized by senior directors of The Conference Elite. Now that we are wholly victorious across all of New Eden, James has solemnly authorized this Twitter account as the official VOICE of Highsec. Praise be unto James, whence floweth all good things!

Miner, Don’t Beat Your Wife!

ROB-MMC > And when you say praise his name…like get on my knees and praise him the way i do Jesus Christ…….So Maje James 315 my Lord and praise him as my new GOD….Jesus is no longer my GOD.

mat Otsito > For those of us just logged in, what did this guy lose?

No, that’s not the right killmail… Ah, here we go!

After losing a Mackinaw, Rob’s wife lost her Retriever to Ulianov…

GAY PRIDE BOOOOOM > today you have been declared guilty and must redeem yourself… what a shame of fit, btw

Rob wasn’t very happy with this downward progress.

ROB-MMC > thats my wifes ship…….we always online together mining…..so Im confused and yall can have this game,,,,,wtf…why fit it with people like yall around….im not fucking stupid… Fuck the fit……..yall gone take it anyway….lol. I been learned that lesson

However, he would feel better if someone dunked his wife (again).

ROB-MMC > ROB-MMC’s Procurer Come gank this as my wife is flying that now Isikano III – Asteroid Belt 1

ROB-MMC > Its a much better fit as I told her not to fit it like that but she dont listen

He was getting all excited, just thinking about someone dunking upon his wife.

ROB-MMC > so if you hit her again…..that would be great as I love to see her upset…lol. The sex is amazing

GAY PRIDE BOOOOOM > your wife is also a bot-aspirant

ROB-MMC > What does bot mean if Im a fucking human playing and so is my wife……I boost her with my orca and we both play…wtf

ROB-MMC > Tjis is her account and thanks for adding her to bad standings so you can kill her everyday now…….cool

Why was Rob on his wife’s account? T’was a mystery with no easy answers.

ROB-MMC > yall saying i broke laws and she probably did….my wife is an asshole….and she says what she wants….I google permits and CODE shit ad nothing came up,,,,so its either a scam or yall just dont like black players…im confused and just want to mine…but if thats not the case then she ruined my game and now ill find something else to play…..Yall won

MINERBITCH > It’s not against TOS to have multiple accounts, no need to use a blowup doll and another PC to multibox mining.

ROB-MMC > I dont understand……..so Im only allowed to have 1 acct. Then why did EVE send me an email saying you can have muultiple accounts……i would never have let my wife fuck me if i knew it was a lie and only 1 could be on eve at a time…..CCP lied to me and now Im punished….bullshit

One thing was clear, Rob is a typical highsec miner.

Oxycon > Ok, I will try and explain. You can have all the accounts you want, play them as you want, but you need a permit to mine in CODE. space.

ROB-MMC > Oh….ok…….so all 70k systems in hi sec are CODE’s

Lord Osama3rd Hita > Buy the permit… Otherwise, get the hell out…

ROB-MMC > I got 3 accts,,,,,,,,,but yall want 100 bil an acct who the hell has that

ROB-MMC > So now do i just quit or I have to join a low sec corp

If he couldn’t come up with 300 billion isk, he was going to be evicted. He prayed that the New Order has a welfare system which would accommodate his incompetence.

ROB-MMC > I really dont know how to play……….so where do i go as no where is safe and now Im a red target

Lord Osama3rd Hita > just have to figure it out yourself.

Blitz Kishunuba > I bought a permit and my quality of lifes never been better

Lord Osama3rd Hita > ^^^^^^^^

Oxycon > ^

MINERBITCH > I suggest not skilling towards exhumers

Oilrag > I like high sec suicide ganking.

Everyone took time to listen and offer sympathetic advice.

ROB-MMC > I can use my debit card and i got maybe 200 cash to spare that should be enough plex to buy 3 permits at 100 bil a piece….who do i pay

ROB-MMC > Now that I want to pay……..no one wants to tell me….wow

Oxycon > no one wants you to spend real money

Antiganking white knights often claim that the New Order is full of evil ruffian griefers and real-life criminals, but the reality is that nobody wanted to take advantage of Rob. Everybody just wants him to get some help, for his wife’s sake.

ROB-MMC > I enjoy this game and I love my wife but that bitch is not online as much as i am, and I love to play and mine….for real….so i can just buy all the plex in the world to enjoy the game….i aint invest all that time and training for a bitch to fuck it up……I am ready to pay whatever….just I need alot of Plex to cash in 300 bil……Im doing it now……

Kariza Yang > damn.. someone fucked up

ROB-MMC > I just to get back to mining…..dammit…this is not how i wanted to spend my off day……damn near wanna punch this bitch in the face….fucking pissed

Rob was getting angrier and angrier, just thinking about how much his wife had already lost, and now he needed to come up with 300 billion isk!

To be continued…

BONUS CONTENT: Our good friend Zaenis Desef made an awesome Kills of the Week video. A lot of miners have been asking how they can identify an official CODE. government press release, and I refer them to the words of our Saviour, which are verily filled with gold and dripping with luscious sweet honey, “A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore, by their fruits, ye shall know them.” Clearly, everyone should subscribe to Desef’s fruitful channel and learn to make 50 million isk, nice!