Code Ready Gelhan: Season 2, Part 2

Code Ready Gelhan: Season 2, Part 1

Let’s start by recapping.  Mission Ready Mining was (and I suppose, technically, still is) the primary member corporation of the Fly Fearless alliance.  There was once a time in EVE Online when the concept of a no recruitment standards, free for all tax scheme corporation was a novel idea, Mission Ready Mining was a prototype model of corporations that would soon become far more prevalent over the next few major patches by CCP; at it’s peak Mission Ready Mining featured 3-4 thousand characters.

In Early 2017 MRMNG had established itself in Gelhan, a 0.5 system within the Derelik region of High Sec and featured many asteroid belts as well as 2 ice fields.  As archived in the original minerbumping.com story, agents Kalorned and TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet,  doing business as Assistance Group™, were quick to catch wind of the corporations’ establishment here and were eventually successful in driving MRMNG to evacuate after a months long campaign to a new home.

Following MRMNG’s emergency evacuation from Gelhan in April 2017, Kalorned and Tweeps continued to monitor the situation closely. Per a MRMNG director, the alliance was told by CCP that if its members did not enjoy being bumped and ganked, it should move somewhere else. From Gelhan, MRMNG moved on to Uemiseisen. In the heart of beautiful Lonetrek and located right next door to boutique ganking system Isanamo, the attractiveness of the system is obvious. Perhaps it was thought that the system’s proximity to MRMNG’s acquaintances in the Airhogs Collective would bring safety.

Kalorned and Tweeps being the benevolent and consummate agents they were allowed Mission Ready Mining to make their move uninterrupted and allowed them time to implement reforms.  Believers in the old ways of EVE Online, the agents had a few conditions for the corporation to be allowed to operate:

  1. Implementation of a recruitment security model
  2. Implementation of effective training and mentoring of recruits
  3. A corporation mining permit

These were the most basic of demands that would bring Mission Ready Mining into compliance with The New Halaima Code of Conduct.  Would MRMNG meet the demands and turn the page to a new chapter of effective corporate governance? Of course not, I wouldn’t be writing this story if they had.

To Be Continued…

BONUS

I will readily admit that Aiko is a professional blogger, one of if not the best, really; I couldn’t possibly hope to keep up with her pace of daily blogs.  With this in mind, I am opting to publish further posts at a pace of my choosing.  Aiko is still sleeping off her Christmas hangover unfortunately, so the audience will have to put up with my limitations until such a time that she recovers.

Code Ready Gelhan: Season 2

Oh! Hello there, I didn’t see you come in. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is not important but this is the official website of the New Order of High Sec, a movement dedicated to restoring reason and dignity to the lives of highsec miners. You may be wondering where Princess Aiko is – haha, a fantastic question if I ever heard one!  Aiko is just sleeping in today, last night she was complaining about feeling flush in the face and mentioned she’d take the day off – I chalk it up to too much eggnog over the holidays.

Since Aiko is sleeping though I’ll take this opportunity to share a story with you, dear reader.  A long time ago, way back in 2017 in fact, the second longest ever-published story, 45 parts, Code Ready Gelhan began premiering on minerbumping.com, the former official website of the New Order of High Sec.

At the conclusion of that story many wondered what happened next? After all, somehow Mission Ready Mining saw a precipitous decline in membership shortly thereafter.  Reader, I’m prepared to now tell you the story of Code Ready Gelhan, Season 2.  Season 2 will be an exploration of the consequences of hubris, a story of betrayal, a story of alliances and kingmakers, but most of all it will be a story about Tweeps and Kalorned – you may remember them as two of the most time honored agents of The Code there ever was.

I do sincerely hope reader that you enjoy the coming season of Code Ready Gelhan.  Before we begin let me begin with some important context.

To be continued…

Fuck #4

Fuck #3

The miners have a lot to say.

Sometimes, they are more concise.

It’s not very hard to understand.

They want to do things their own way.

Unfortunately, they don’t have much luck.

They seem to be stuck, repeating the same basic patterns.

What does it all mean?

I don’t think they are calm.

They don’t seem to like us.

They don’t seem to like me.

I don’t like them much either.

They are crazy!

They’ve always been crazy.

Nobody likes a miner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aiko is the Mittani

The Why Was I Ganked? channel is a great place to discuss EVE.

However, Key Orion was initially unimpressed.

Why is the leader of Goonswarm hiding in Highsec?

Like Napoleon, Princess Aiko abandoned her army in the midst of winter.

The secret is out. Everyone knows about Aiko. 

She isn’t even trying to win the war.

After some thought, Key decided this was pretty impressive.

It sure is nice to be the most powerful woman in the galaxy.

Delve-schmelve.

I honestly don’t care.

Is that Alex guy still pretending to be me?

Highsec News

The latest breaking Highsec news. Read all about it!

Miner Khatoum was eager to attract subscribers, and what could be more exciting than watching his spaceship explode? Khatoum was so shocked, his hand hovered in space for a long time. He wasn’t especially mad at Nitetime Video, but let lose a string of f-bombs when he heard about a c-word princess.

Here’s a mining joke:

Haha, very funny miners.

In other news, Brisc Rubal doubled down on being utterly obtuse. 

Hellokittyonline made a reasonable request. Did you know, suspects can be attacked by anyone and everyone? Wouldn’t the game be more fun, if suspects could form fleets, and work together with friends? Is there any reason that they must always be alone? I remember, a long time ago, I thought neutral logi support was the dumbest thing. However, I didn’t realize that logi also went suspect, and could be attacked and killed. So how is that unfair play? It sounds like a great way to generate fleet content in Highsec.

Since I killed kitty’s Phantasm, I’m a credible source in regard to whether his playstyle is ‘overpowered’. Without CONCORD protection, he is exposed and vulnerable. Why shouldn’t suspects utilize remote support, what’s wrong with that? If you attack a suspect, you should be prepared to fight their friends.

I can’t imagine a more asinine response. Just in case you aren’t clear on the rules of this game, the suspect cannot engage a target UNLESS the target shoots them. By definition, suspects are only engaging targets that fight back.

I don’t think Brisc cares about Highsec. Should CCP delete it?

Before long, Brisc began insisting suspect baiters “never” lose ships, and he even claimed that I have only lost two ships. Ever.

It’s ok to say stupid things, but come on Brisc… you just jumped the shark. 

Brisc insists suspect baiting is bullying and griefing, unfair plane which should be nerfed out of existence. It’s ‘overpowered’ when Krig Povelli has a lone Nergal, and offers to simultaneously duel every other player in the game. Meanwhile, Brisc led a taskforce of three Nergals and dozens of assault frigates, to dunk a hapless procurer. You tell me? Who is actually attacking ships that can’t shoot back? 

Brisc claims to be an expert on ganking. He knows we ‘never’ lose, and never take fights unless we are 100% sure to win.

I’ll tell you what, I’ve seen a lot of ganks go wrong. I don’t know what 315 would call it, when my Catalyst explodes, and miners are laughing. I call it defeat. In fact, I’m never sure I’ll be able to kill a Venture. It might have shields, it might be moving, it might have antiganking support, and there’s faction police and CONCORD. Also, Catalysts cost money, and most ganks result in a net loss. However, Brisc believes I’ve only lost two spaceships, and I never lose. I wish I was as good as Brisc believes.

I wanted to know where Brisc developed his intimate understanding of ganking. Here I am, just a lowly CODE. princess, but the great Brisc Rubal is lecturing me on the ganking mindset. What does he know? How? 

Brisc has participated in 21 ganks. Wow!

Here’s what MiniLuv had to say about his participation.

It’s cool to disagree, and even be totally wrong, but seriously. Sometimes, it’s ok to admit that you don’t know what you are talking about.

 

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #223

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #222

\o Hello friends.

Miners write the darndest things.

They aren’t especially intelligent.

However, they should at least be polite.

I enjoy receiving fan mail.

I especially like poems.

Unfortunately, some miners aren’t very nice.

Crabs are kind of mean.

I don’t even mine in Highsec, have you seen any Highsec miner with omber crystal? Is your brain filled with dog shit? I was just going back to Jita. I wish your mom to die at Christmas.

5pm, tommorrow, you can go check yOur mom’s grave. I wish your entire family to celebrate Christmas one hundred times, in hell. You will get cancer and your grave will be a great place.

Mining seems really boring.

I just want them to purchase their permit.

It’s also helpful when they clear our kill rights.

 

They help us, and we help them.

Silly miners, they’ve been upset a long time.

I’m just glad to know, they love their Princess.

Aiko Danuja, a healthy mare.

 

          

Kills of Yet Another Week!

Kills of Some Preceding Week

Wow, just when you thought the CODE. was finally dead, it somehow keeps going. Here are some crabby miners, who faced justice during the week of August 13.

***

Matumba F knew what she was getting into, that’s why she joined a corporation called Dead Squad. She got everything she bargained for. Great!

***

UEDKnight also went for thematic roleplay, joining The Superior NPC Corporation. Apparently, bot aspirants really do aspire to become NPCs. Well, his wish was granted, and he was dunked in seconds, just like a real NPC! Wonderful.

***

Gothryc Bumgardener thought working for an inflammable powder factory would keep his ship from exploding. Unfortunately, when exposed to neutron radiation, everything burns. Can you believe, he was defeated by gay pride? BOOOOM!

***

v3rmin isn’t just a miner, he’s a smuggler. Within the cargohold, Billy discovered a secret stash of tritanium, with traces of pyerite and isogen!

***

Everybody hates moonpire, and for good reason. marco has been getting great kills, but I just love seeing him dunk these depots. The EVE community thanks you!

***

Ibowto Noone had a bad attitude, and was just chilling and relaxing, when she was erased by my good friend Berger. Good fight!

***

Various Happenings

Ernst Steinitz heard disturbing rumors, emanating from the belt.

After a thorough investigation, the rumormonger was apprehended.

Pix Severus has also been placing containers.

I hope Pix is still placing containers. I’d like to see more of them. 

Did you ever play agar.io? I was talking with Krig Povelli, and we agreed that EVE Online is basically the exact same game. You go around eating little mining dots, and it’s funny when carebear blobs explode.

There’s a lot of funny stories, I can’t possibly tell them all. Like the time antiganking Satanist Winky Winkers666 was defeated by empty pods in Uedama. Apparently, he accidentally shot a new ganker, and CONCORD jumped in to help the newbro.

Oof, I’m tired. I wanna tell you about Globby though.

Globby is one of the best players in the game, and when I heard Goonswarm was beset by carebear hordes, I agreed to let him save the Delve. Here, like the Marquis d’Lafayette, he teaches nullbears about the CODE. Globby’s great victory in the battle of 5-CQDA will long be remembered as a turning point in the history of EVE.

Here’s a livefeed of Pandemic comms.

Globby is awesome.

Primary is… uh…

He’s the best.