That’s right.
Xris was lost and alone.
Where would he go?
Xris was a real Highsec miner.
One day, Jesus rescued him.
Xris was born again.
All he needed was faith.
Xris finally found his home.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
That’s right.
Recruiting Newbros
Christmas Deathwish
Listening to: Precious
EvE Online has some interesting characters.
Sometimes they go too far.
This is the story of Longtooth the Miner.
Hey there.
Normally, carebears use a Vexor.
He found me attractive.
Never trust a man who mines in Highsec.
He actually was a new player.
Barely eighteen years old…
Just another antisocial sociopathic CEO in EvE Online.
We soon learned a shocking truth…
This guy is a total pleb.
Just then, Good Girl Kara tried to stick up for me.
Oof!
Just a typical Highsec miner.
At least he’s not mad.
He’s just… not well in the head.
What a guy.
Cheerzah!
Boromir and Faramir
Faramir had a problem.
His buddy Boromir was dead.
Now Faramir was under arrest.
He owed a lot of isk.
He even tried to scam Jesus!
Too little, too late.
Mine around and find out.
Oh well.
Another happy ending in EvE Online.
Them Again
Miners often encounter gankers.
They especially notice me.
I am in the zone.
I try to give them what they want.
They like that.
Sometimes, they get a little upset.
They are frustrated with their lack of progress.
That’s fine with me.
I’m a princess.
Cya!
Meet a Newbro
It’s new player appreciation day!
Cheerzah brav!
Fun times in EvE Online.
Another satisfied customer.
That’s right.
No Mining
This story begins in outer space.
Newbro Rais Wilding mined around, and found out.
Mining wasn’t very fun.
Fortunately, Safety officers intervened.
After his arrest, Rais gave a speech.
He urged other miners to obey the law.
Rais is now a motivational speaker.
Cheerzah!
That’s right.
Slow Boil
I’m a real Highsec escort.
That’s right.
Recently, miner Nigel ran into trouble.
He’s just a 2015 newbro.
So I agreed to assist.
I love to help the little guys.
Apparently, the mining pacifists lost a control tower?
No money? No problem!
Just send me your stuff.
It was his idea!
I’m glad we came to an agreement.
Cheerzah brav!
He just needs to pay.
That’s right.
There was just one problem.
I’ve done this before.
It works well.
I call it the 30 40 70 rule.
It works like a charm.
Later that day…
I change people’s lives!
There’s a life lesson here.
=FOLLOW UP=
Squekalini
It’s a cool name.
Let’s meet the guy.
Hey Squek.
Just another toxic miner griefer.
lmao!
Tru Lof
Oh, hey there.
I know.
Everybody loves to meet me.
Everyone has their own emotional experience.
What is your story?
Well, ok then.
I sahut you.
o7 capsuleers!
SRP Claim #513-PA
Aiden Vail is a mining man.
Unfortunately, he fell behind on rent.
Consequently, he needs a new ship.
Fortunately, it was Black Friday!
He was a real ice aspirant.
Cool story bro!
Another 2007 newbro.
I naturally established an empathetic rapport.
This is a useful ability.
“The target must succeed on a DC 17 Wisdom saving throw or be charmed. The charmed target regards the vampire as a trusted friend, and is a willing target.”
“Harlots can be both brazen strumpets and haughty courtesans. In addition to the usual fare, the harlot is 15% likely to make something up, and 20% likely to be a thief.
Trust is the basis of every relationship.
Another satisfied customer.
I’m such a good soul.
That’s right.
PRO TIP: Jita has several unique stations!
Somehow, he discovered the blog.
I love to help.
He’s trying to scam me!
I’ve been here before.
It’s just basic math.
Vail asked his new friend for advice.
That’s right.
I explained everything.
That’s the best minigame in EvE Online.
Sad ending…
Life is full of new experiences.
Cheerzah!
