Merry May 9

Yesterday was May 9.

It was a day of Russian PRIDE.

We don’t celebrate Soviet holidays.

Russian miners often have a lot to say.

And you, Princessa, I remember, go fuck your shavern personally!

Dalbeny are stupid, you can shove your rackeeteers in ass!

They were threatening war, and we didn’t listen.

Your kids, bitch, burned out slobbering, bullshit, you bitch, intefere with playing fucking critters!

Now, the whole world is listening.

As it turns out, we are the real Nazis!

At least, I still have friends.

Death to the diggers!

Yikes!

What Happened?

Why, hello there, dear reader.

Once upon a time, the CODE. alliance was a mighty alliance.

One day, James 315 docked up, AFK forever.

The final challenge to his legacy was posed by gankbear roleplayers, who tried to convince everyone to leave the alliance. They called themselves CODE BLUE, and they rallied around has beens, never weres, and never will bees. Their leader is a nobody, who helped place more than a dozen killmails on the CODE. killboard, before quitting and vowing to never rejoin (because this would interfere with his Mussolini inspired plan, to establish a miner axis centered upon Dodixie Poinen).

[ 2017.03.24 21:55:30 ]
Hrothgar Nilsson > my great-grandfather is pure italian ancestry. Benito was his name.

Chemical brother > A lot of people in italy love Benito
Hrothgar Nilsson > Yes, because when there is a crisis, people often look to dictators to provide all the solutions. The New Order is people power, united behind the vision of James 315. James 315 is doing what Mussolini should have done.
Chemical brother > Italian history is very complicated…
Hrothgar Nilsson > The world needs to pay more attention to the history of Italy. Italy has been misjudged, misperceived, and had its character assassinated… So, I say, Viva Italia, and Via James 315 and the New Order!
Alt 00 > Kill: Lexxos (Mackinaw)

Hey retard, James 315 doesn’t like incel Wehraboo fascisti!

When Hrothgar heard James was retiring, he didn’t wait 48 hours. The rest of us were trying to keep the alliance running, and planning a nice funeral, but Hrothgar instantly created his own rival alliance. When the New Order was at its weakest and most vulnerable, Hrothgarlini tried to split the community. The shameless copycat even plagiarized the ticker JAMES. Some of us cared about the New Order, and we were disgusted. I offered Hrothgar ONE BILLION isk, if he would disband his fraudulent alliance, and rejoin the CODE. George went further, offering TEN BILLION isk. Hrothgar refused!

Like most gankbears, he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Nowadays, he only speaks through a beta orbiter.

“I’m loyal to James Hrothtard, GRRR CODE.” members include the guy who conspired to ban the entire CODE. alliance from the minerbumping channel (and then quit, only to return, and then quit again, and then return, and then quit again), and the guy who sent hundreds of agents to eternal damnation.

If he were still alive, James would be alarmed to know these desperate traders have united. Meanwhile, they have all begun crawling inside the ruins, after abandoning the CODE. years ago. Back in the day, some of them declared war on James, but now they sleep with his corpse! What are they doing? Actual avowed antigankers, living inside the tomb, and furiously masturbating perverting his legacy.

Ward vowed to destroy me, and James 315.

Imagine, antigankers hiding inside the CODE. alliance.

When James died, he knew they would try this. Therefore, he sent a psychic message to the oracle, Talas Dir, who left a sign for all time. The prophecy of Talas proves that Aiko Danuja was chosen by the Gods. Exactly one month before the Jamespocalypse, Talas foretold that James would vanish, and be replaced by Aiko.

James always understood the importance of clear, concise, communication.

In May 2020, only a dozen people knew that James intended to retire, abdicating to his unemployed kickboxing ex-girlfriend.

Salty boomers who weren’t even in the CODE. alliance, can probably understand that they were never part of the inner circle, and that is probably why James didn’t bother to tell them about his plans for the future.

It is Aiko, whom destiny favours, as the greatest ganker in galactic history.

It is Aiko, whom James recognized, as championettess of Halaima.

All Glory to the Ice BWitchPrincess!

 

The Battle of Torrinos

When I’m not blogging, I sometimes undock.

I recently discovered a vast empire.

In distant Torrinos, the miners are always AFK.

However, they remember my previous visits.

I often cower in a nearby station.

So they sent their best man, HogTits, to camp me down.

He taunted me.

He brought an entire hit squad.

I was in serious trouble.

The miners knew who I was, and they weren’t scared.

I was trapped, and couldn’t escape.

The miners were mocking me.

They even summoned the antiganking main of antiganking loser Everess 88.

That’s the retard goofus who thinks the actual IRL year is 1984. Like wtf.

This was getting serious.

It all happened so fast.

Fortunately, Krig Povelli taught me a magic trick.

Australian Jesus came to my rescue, straight out of Halaima.

Everybody was amazed.

They never anticipated my counterattack.

It was clear who won the battle of Torrinos.

The wouldbe antigankers began to reconsider their choices.

Everess 88’s antiganking main was losing their respect.

The battle was over, and birds began to chirp.

Everybody reflected on the experience.

One thing was crystal clear.

I have a Highsec PvP alt.

The Exanondus, Part 4

Exanon Alleile began cursing agents of the mighty New Order.

Damien Oxytocin was shocked, when the curse hit home.

For Safety purposes, Damien immediately lifted the curse.

At this point, the curse rebounded, catching Exanon in his skiff.

Exanon accused Damien of lying, but Exanon was wrong about that.

Exanon never expected this plot twist.

Damien never deceived Exanon!

In fact, it was Exanon who tried to bully Damien.

Exanon is his own worst enemy.

Damien did nothing wrong.

To be continued???

The Exanondus, Part 3

The Exanondus, Part 1

Back, by popular demand…

Previously, Exanon Alleile went on a grand tour of the galaxy.

At the end of the road, there was either a pot of gold… or nothing.

He’d been tricked seven times before, but what was in the container?

What do you think? Did Exanon win a FREE Mackinaw?

***SPOILER ALERT***

Scroll down to find out what was in the container!

***SPOILER ALERT***

Did you guess correctly?


Oh dang, it was empty!

It was time to try a BONUS lootbox.

Now this is how you play EvE Online.

Suddenly, Exanon began cursing.

FUN FACT: The recommended width of a blog image is 500 pixels — 750 max.

Damien Oxytocin tried to negotiate, but it was too late.

He could see hell, bleeding through his increasingly transparent interface.

Damien warned Exanon, that curses have consequences.

Would Exanon have mercy, and lift the curse?

Alas, it is real!

I want to continue enjoying my happy life, for at least a year.

Therefore, I rejected the upside down 666,666,666, but Exanon was not pleased.

How long will my happy life last?

Dear Diary

Listening to Russian Hardbass Mix by White Sky

Dear Diary,

Codename Pleb continues to whine.

Anyways, we ganked Hedliner and his Awox alt.

Grrrr Aiko, hat hat hat gunkerz.

Hat hat hat.

GARRRR GROOOOONGREEFEREEEEEE!!1!!!!

Now that’s some Pandemic salt!

Also, do you remember DKslopoke?

Now he’s blackmailing me.

I guess I’ll be banned soon?

Meanwhile, in Halaima, I bewitched the Monster from J124023!

Hey, I’m getting good at this.

Even a monster knows how to treat a Princess.

I put a spell on him.

With friends like this, I will never fail!

While antigankers cry, the people I gank are paying me))))))))

That’s right!

Party never stops
Russian through Highsec
Like it’s Vice City
Cyka blyat
Don’t be afraid of nada
Get ready for the drop
Everyday I drink
Everyday I gank
If you do the same, you are my drug
This is how we party

Top Tier

I am a top tier EVE Online champion.

Some people claim that mining permits are a scam.

The true scammers are bitterbear griefers who don’t want new players to be happy.

Let’s consider the benefits of a mining permit.

johnson Muvila bought a mining permit, after a long day of bumping.

When he was ganked, he bought an additional License ID CODE.

Aiko Danuja > Kill: johnson Muvila (Skiff)
johnson Muvila > can i ask why i was ganked? im a licensed miner 🙁
Aiko Danuja > You owe me money.
johnson Muvila > i thought i was paid off for a year?
Krig Povelli > Did you include the License ID Code?

Shortly thereafter, he lost another alt. 

Once again, he had a permit.

Does this look like a scam to you?

Main miner Lucas Malukker knew how to resolve this issue.

Problem solved.

He just needed an ID CODE for each alt.

Lucas loves me, and I would never scam him.

I’m the financial dominatrix Highsec needs.

He even sent a tip.

Lucas Malukker > alright it is done your highness, i am honoured to have been able to experience the great liberation of your cause 3 times in one day and i am grateful for your benevolence.
Lucas Malukker > i do have one question though, the code is the same “DURR-315” for all 3 accounts (i appreicate the humour lol) how can you be sure nobody will copy said code and play it off as their own
Aiko Danuja > it is registered to you
Lucas Malukker > i am glad to hear it, i trust your system and hope any false prophets will be vanquished by your glorious wrath
Aiko Danuja > Yes, you should be very happy now.
Lucas Malukker > i am indeed very happy and grateful for all you have done.
Aiko Danuja > Excellent news!
Lucas Malukker > Please accept another 100m as a token of my appreciation to you Princess Aiko Danuja, for all you do and say is right
Aiko Danuja > Very well, I will accept this.

It’s not a scam!

It’s the law.

Novus Plebo

I’ve heard that I am to blame for the collapse of CODE.

James 315 knows the truth. I tried to save the alliance, but he wanted to die, so we could move on.

My critics hail from another alliance, from a backwards whiteknight dimension, where the CODE. logo is not orange… but blue. These former fans praise their version of James, a boring gankbear named Hrothgar, who doesn’t even blog. Hrothgar left the New Order, but still craves the fame and the legacy. He uses the CODE. logo like a blue module, which he plagiarized to maximize his isk/hr.

Let me be clear. I left the CODE. alliance, because I saw no future in the alliance without James. In contrast, Hrothgar saw no future with James. His axis of autism is composed of salty former fans, who left CODE. before James quit blogging. They deleted their mining permits, and renounced James. Oh yes, they did.

I was recently checking for mining permits, when I stumbled across a counterfeit. Oh sure, it looks legitimate, but it doesn’t mention Aiko (or James). James loved me so much, that he wrote about my beauty and grace, but he forgot to mention either of us in this mining permit? Puh-leez. Here we witness a forgery.

Aiko Danuja > Why are you pretending to be CODE, with a blue James logo?
Darkside Tickler > you mention all these names…james…ets
Darkside Tickler > but i have no idea who that is
Aiko Danuja > Yeh, exactly…

So I killed the illegal miner.

Whadda was disgusted.

What kind of New Order agent would sell a permit for just 10 million isk, as if it’s some worthless piece of cheap trash?

Do you want proof that I’m the heiress to James 315?

Without a word from me, my alt’s alt can delete your fake permit, and sell the miner a permit that’s three times more valuable.

This is why James left me in charge, not you.

Cheers!

Chillno

Chillso Ace isn’t very chill.

He explained why.

He doesn’t have to be.

Instead, Chillso can curse mat Otsito (and his family).

First, they will get cancer, and then the government death panel.

As Chillso explained, mat is a mass murdering psychopath in real-life. Therefore, it is only just and fair that mat’s entire family be stricken with cancer (before their public execution). As a man, mat must accept Chillso’s judgment.

The next day, Chillso made a simple proposition.

If mat kills himself, that would make it easier to mine.

Many years ago, the Mittani joked about suicide, and this is often cited as evidence of the Mittani’s depraved mind. Consequently, when the Mittani heard about Chillso, he asked mat to give the miner a second chance.

Meanwhile, Chillso reached out to local miners, including two imperial informants. As it turns out, Chillso is conducting a coordinated psyops campaign intended to convince mat to kill himself (in real life).

Chillso is allowed to do this. Right?

It’s just a game.

Meanwhile, Krig Povelli was warned by CCP, because he is Muslim.

I’m glad CCP has sensible policies, which are fairly enforced.

Indeed, Krig has been cursed for fifty years.

Friends Forever

A working girl has bills to pay.

I like when men notice me.

aphunmc gave me a great idea.

MarshallTeagan > so if you wanna take care of you permit aphreshmc for 30mil for 1 year we can do that?
aphreshmc > MarshallTeagan i will literally shit down ur moms throat
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc if i had a billion isk i could stand up to these fuckers
Aiko Danuja > id buy myself a faction jammer and fuck them up
aphreshmc > MarshallTeagan im gnna kill u
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc can i have 50 million isk please
aphreshmc > k
Aiko Danuja > thanks friend
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc Can I borrow another 50 million isk please?
Aiko Danuja > Thank you friend.
aphreshmc > frendz
aphreshmc > D:

I would take money from him and his alts.

I love borrowing from friends.

It’s the best part of EVE.

This is how I play.

I’m your best friend, always!

Aiko Danuja > aphunmc can i borrow 50 million isk please
aphunmc > i just spent ALL my isk
Zeroskillzz > aphunmc can i borrow 50 mil to give to Aiko?
aphunmc > Aiko Danuja arent u like in charge here?

I’m in charge of this friendship.

That’s right.

Some girls are mean.

I’ll put a spell on you.

All I want is bling.

Ya know?

I deserve it.

I’m entitled.