Glory to Ichinumi! GLORY TO AIKO!

My goodness, I’m busy.

You might yearn for the old days, when loyalanon dunked freighters in Uedama, and Super Perforator roleplayed at Ventures in Poinen. However, the new normal is that 41% of all ganking is Aiko. This is my time, my era. This is the future, and the ganking community is better than ever. Ganking is strong, because I am strong, and I am great, and I am a beautiful Princess in real-life, chaste and pure. Sometimes, I regret that I didn’t call the alliance AIKO, with AIKO as the ticker — but I’m not a narcissist.

Previously, we learned of Auviken, the first system to report more Safety ganks than CODE ganks. We then celebrated Unpas, the first system to endorse Safety as the #1 alltime alliance. Afterward, we heard of Waira, the first system to elect Aiko Danuja as the #1 alltime PvP champion. I am now pleased to present, the first system to simultaneously have Aiko listed as the top pilot of alltime, and Safety as the top alliance. Truly, we are well into a new era, and whilst Halaima might always be a spiritual Mecca, Ichinumi will be forever known as the site of Aiko’s impenetrable inner chamber.

Behold, Ichinumi, bastion of Aikodom. The miners of Ichinumi will always live with dread and fear in their pathetic hearts, for their system is 100% dangerous, and that is no place for a mining simp. If James 315 were alive today, he would give me a hug, and whisper in my ear to tell me how proud he is. We would hold hands, and laugh about all the losers, who failed to be here today. Good job Aiko! Thanks James!

GalacticoGalicticon

GalactusGalactuss was the only son of an illiterate lumberback.

When I sent him a violation notice, I had no idea he is a disgusting manpig.

I decided he needs a little attention.

Elite vounty hunter Adrian Vexler volunteered, vowing to venerate me with vengeance.

Galacticus Galactus Galactuss watched with concern, as his isk evaporated.

Clearly, something had gone horribly awry.

As he fitted a new corvette, Galactor finally understood the true meaning of Safety.

It had been a costly lesson in space law.

Galactron decided to turn that killboard upside down.

Galactinator understands now…

…all miners must die.

That’s the spirit!

Aiko Monument

Vinnegar Douche spotted an antiganker, in a hole.

It was crime fighting time!

Check out this video of a real life antiganker!

Anyways, I’ve been wondering….

Would Vinnegar support my proposal?

We need Aiko monuments, in game and in reality!

I was pleased to learn that Vinnegar is a man of reason and culture.

Everyone agrees, it’s time for our first Aiko monument.

So many great ideas!

I want to thank everybody who has supported me, and my alliance.

As always, I have to acknowledge James 315.

I wouldn’t even be here without him.

Honestly, this was all his idea.

Everything is proceeding according to plan.

That’s right.

Cheers!

Lowsec Champions

Hello, friendos…

I’m a little busy being both elite and dangerous, which means I haven’t had time to watch this video, but I’ve heard it has funny moments. Like the time ice miner Lilith Banare was searching for Doctor Who garbage, when he encountered a Safety inspection. Apparently, this happened in a mysterious place called lowsec, where CONCORD never responds and you can kill miners at your leisure.

Dang! You gotta do, what you gotta do.

Lowsec alliance Darwinism was sorely embarrassed by Lilith’s demise. In his own tragic words, he died a “horrible horrible death” because he failed to keep an “eye” on local and his general vicinity. Oops!

To be quite honest, we are not afraid of lowsec.

Gary Bell gave me the deets.

Nobody wants a miner in their elite PvP alliance.

Good news! I sell lowsec mining permits.

This is serious space business.

Eventually, I’ll RMT everything, and buy cute shoes.

More good news!

Well, if that’s what James 315 wants, who am I to disagree?

If you don’t know, TCE literally was the entire CODE. alliance.

GG, Super Perforator! No re!

What a Grade A loser.

I’d feel stupid, if I tried to talk trash, about how Aiko ‘failed’ to get TCE.

You know who you are.

The proof, as they say, is in the pudding.

Let’s be real here.

I’m a winner…

…and I play for keeps.

Stayin SAFE

Everybody loves the mighty Safety. alliance.

Wrathful Hawk made a friendly video, welcoming new players and Whovians to Eve Online, showing them exactly what awaits. Required viewing for any aspiring marauder capsulosers. Check it out (or don’t, idc).

That’s right!

Have you noticed that miners complain that we only shoot ships that can’t shoot back, and then they also object when we shoot anything which might theoretically be able to shoot back? It’s like they are never happy!

You know what rhymes with miner?

Calm down whiner!

January 10

I am proud of my alliance.

Miners are always happy to see us.

Sometimes, carebears give us advice.

Everybody loves a little qwarning.

Make sure to support your local antigunkers!

Thank you, miner Elyk Salguod!

We know how to have fun in EvE Online!

Sargon of Amerish made a video, showing the path from gank to isk.

Thank you, miner xXDeathsSwiftXx!

***BONUS TIER CONTENT***

I made some artwork, showing the lifecycle of the multibox ganker.

The newbro is an elite PvP champion.

Subsequently, neurosis sets in, always!

Eventually, they retire to Uedama (and log off forever).