Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Previously, we met miner lorrenzo.
He owed me money.
We settled on a compromise.
He would pay me to stop posting about him.
A fair bargain!
I was excited to show my TRUE nature.
I filled lorrenzo with that PvP spirit.
Don’t listen to the whiners.
Ganking is fun!
lorrenzo finally understands how to play EvE Online.
A happy ending!
Previously, we met lorrenzo nub.
lorrenzo doesn’t like us.
So he began building a space army.
However, first he went mining.
Ahbazon is a SAFE space.
As a findom, I expect tribute.
Of course, he also needed a mining permit.
Lorrenzo was happy, because mining permits are real.
Oh no!
Drone Task Force was on the case…
To be continued…
I went a’whoring in nullsec.
I have more isk destroyed than entire alliances.
I do elite nullsec PvP.
Everybody was happy to see me.
I even offered bonus rounds.
Good times in EvE Online.
Killi got griefed in Highsec.
The celebrity had an important announcement.
However, he erased it.
Instead, he had a personal message for me.
“Bitch is gonna fuckin die” (direct quote).
Well, I got a message for you, Killiwutsurname.
You already done died, buttercup.
Haha, what a goofbear.
TRIGGER WARNING: MEAN WORDS
I always think, ya know, I got other things I’d rather do than play EvE Online, or write about it… but then I log in, and encounter the incredible stupidity of Idiocracy Online.
Previously, I discussed how incompetent antigankers continually fail, whilst roleplaying success. It’s never clear what they accomplished, but they sure as hell didn’t stop any gankers.
Recently, we spotted Highsec Plebtards camping Juunigashi with Stormbringers, desperately hoping to sperg lightning bolts in a windowlicking attempt to save a freighter.
The obvious solution was to warp into Uedama (with the dummydumdums following like Keystone Cops), as we then warped into Ikao, and back into Juunigashi to kill the target.
I could not conceal my contempt.
I honestly question the time I’ve invested in EvE, but at least I’m going down in history as the all time greatest. However, how does one justify investing even more time (years more than me), and yet failing to come close? It’s like, when you are slamming homeruns out of the stadium, how can you possibly have respect for a permapleb who is drunk on antifreeze and all-you-can-eat chilidogs?
Running a bunch of alts is bad enough, but imagine running a bunch of alts and failing to accomplish anything!
Apparently, some people refer to their alts as “we”.
The antiganker posed an interesting question…
I once heard of a turboautist, who wasted years following Jason, Joe/Bob, Aussie, brainlet, Benji, loyal/Trump, etc.
This goblok would always believe he saved a freighter, proudly proclaiming, “Freighter saaaaaaaaved.”
I simply cannot stand a stupid man.
However, did “we” save the freighter?
Apparently not!
Suddenly, the loser didn’t want to gloat.
Eventually, he showed the true nature of the whiteknight.
I believe him.
I’m cute!
The once mighty CODE. alliance had terminal autism.
Literally, autism.
NOL Director Super Perforator was unwell.
Super declared war on Aiko!
He roleplayed “victory”.
Victorious gankers should stop ganking. Right?
Super Perfie had no time for gankers.
Perfie preferred antigankers.
However, a princess cannot abide antigankers…
So Super Perforator ban/muted all the gankers.
Perfie was seduced by antiganker “agent” Knowledgeminer
Fortunately, Aiko has powerful friends in Highsec.
Knowledgeminer was arrested!
However, Super Perforator continued to harbor antigankers.
Meanwhile, Perfie autistically denied the death of James 315.
Inevitably, The Conference Elite denounced New Order Logistics.
Everyone said NOL is trash.
So TCE decided to form a new alliance, without NOL.
Stay tuned for a brief history of the CODE. alliance.
To be continued…
Bee well.
CCP wants to protect griefers.
So they released a patch to protect crabs.
CCP values their most toxic customers.
Highsec miners are truly precious.
The new rules are clear.
Antigankers are so ineffective, that CCP stepped in like the referee of a boxing match. They’ve awarded gankers a technical knockout, declaring a stoppage and an end to the carnage. This is fair, because obsessive antigankers are ruining their own lives, desperately following me around and consistently failing to stop me.
I’m having fun, and they aren’t.
So CCP changed the rules of the game.
It will be more difficult to gank newbro freighters, which are used by Highsec wardeccers and nullsec blobbears.
Antigankers thought this was a big win.
It’s the end of ganking forever!
Right?
The gankers are done, right?
I decided to investigate.
Can I still board a Catalyst?
Can I undock my Catalyst?
Well, look at that.
I didn’t even do it for profit.
No tether required!
Are new players exempt from PvP?
Rookies are, by definition, less than 30 days old.
Although it’s not clear what constitutes “rookie griefing”, it can only occur within a few specific locations.
What exactly is griefing? Nobody knows. I’ve spoken with several gamemasters, and they clearly do not agree with one another. They informed me that CCP has no official definition. Aside from three examples, there is no formal policy.
We are not allowed to scam new players (within a rookie system), or trick them into opening a yellow box, or disrupt the tutorial. However, what happens when a rookie begins mining? They are no longer in the tutorial, so are we allowed to PvP? Indeed, a gank is not a scam, nor a trick, nor is it a scenario in which we “fire freely”.
Is ganking griefing? I find it noteworthy that the rookie griefing policy does not mention ganking, at all.
Only forum trolls claim otherwise.
I’ve asked CCP, whether ganking new players is allowed. If the developers did not want to endanger nubs, then why send them to Hek (a notoriously dangerous system)? I believe the intent is to expose rookies to PvP, via the risk of ganking. I can’t say that CCP agrees, but I asked if they agree, and they certainly did not disagree.
Regardless, Landslide is not a new player.
He died in Eystur, which is neither Lustrevik nor Hek.
He still claimed rookie rights.
What a loser crybaby!
He reported all my accounts.
All of them.
He cried for a long time.
Landslide believes in the Hateless doctrine.
PvP, in a PvP game, is “greefing”.
Landslide decided to take a stand for justice.
He reported everyone.
Subsequently, Landslide followed me to Abudban.
He was on cougar patrol.
The other miners mocked his emotional distress.
The miners didn’t listen to Landslide.
Nobody cared.
Landslide begged Hon Risalo to flee.
However, Hon didn’t want to stop mining.
Indeed, Hon won -46.7 million isk!
Landslide was left crying into the void.
There was nobody left to run away.
There are a lot of pretenders and wannabes, but a divine spark animates the one true New Order alliance.
Fate and Destiny smiles upon the faithful.
Our enemies cannot even fight back.
I’m going to kill all them miners.
It’s not roleplay.
Ya know?
Cheers!
It’s time for the tenth annual Venture Hunting Contest. This year’s host and master of ceremonies is Krig Povelli. So get out there and kill Ventures, Endurances, and Prospects. If you gank them with a mining ship, you will receive DOUBLE points!
GRAND PRIZE: 3 billion isk
Most Ventures Destroyed: 1 billion isk
Most Prospects Destroyed: 1 billion isk
Most Endurances Destroyed: 1 billion isk
3 x Runner Ups Receive: 100 million isk
3 x Honorable Mentions Receive: 1 Good Job Participation Email
Good luck!
If you would like to contribute to the prize fund, send isk to: Aiko Danuja. Offer not valid in Minnesota.