Thirteen Years of Failure

Let’s check out the old forums.

Chribba is bad at EvE, and worse at website design.

“Did it begin with killing mining bots…”

Let’s take a walk in history…

Some things never change.

Miners always whine and salt.

It never stops.

“What happens to us new players?”

Here’s more…

They have not evolved in over a decade.

That’s right.

“Today, a bunch of gankers descended upon the belt our corp is in and blew up a couple of ships with that suicide catalyst fit they all have (because, apparently, no one can custom fit anything anymore). This is the same group of guys that started harassing us in belts a few days ago…”

Those goshdarn gankers!

GarrRR.

“Basically they are players who want to be PVPers but every time they go looking for PVP they get their butts kicked. So rather than putting the effort into learning to be competitive they go kill players they know they can not loose against, namely miners and haulers. then to make them selves feel better about totally failing at PVP they act all macho and say they do it for the tiers.”

“Really there is no point to it. It takes no skill, you can not learn to PVP by killing players who can not shoot back, and there is rarely any reward in it. But some asshats just don’t get it. For some reason it makes them feel l33t when they kill carebears. How is killing a defenseless carebear something to be proud of? It is like the difference between shooting an animal in a cage or actually going out and hunting where the animal actually has a chance at survival. The ganker would have you believe that shooting the animal in the cage is the same as shooting an animal in the wild, after all they are still shooting the same animal. They seem to miss the fact that the point of hunting that makes it fun is the challenge of the hunt not just the act of pulling the trigger.”

 “My beef is with the gankers who have no PVP skills and the only way they get kills is by ganking. Ganking does not make you a PVPer… also blobbing is not a form of grieving while ganking although not always grieving, can be, and often is, used for grieving.”

Hathathat.

“CCP has already taken steps to tone down the level of ganking. The problem is that the ganking community revolts and rages against this and only goes out and ganks more. If we continue to escalate the level of ganking CCP will be FORCED to drop the hammer. THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN!! The ganking community will have no one to blame but themselves. Law enforcement must step up…”

Where did all these gankers come from?

“…and formed their own alliance of greatly overrated, obnoxious, narcissistic, stupid, worthless, arrogant, rotund malcontents.”

“…the demographic of pew-pew basement dwellers who got picked on in high school for being too fat/acne ridden/smelly/short/whatever who now find their only two pleasures in life comes from 1) Feeling like Real Big Men from ganking people who can’t even shoot back and 2) Furry “erotic art.” They don’t care about the economy, they don’t care about supply and demand, nor do they care about anything except finally having found an alternate reality where they get to be the schoolyard bully…”

” You can’t hack in the real PvP world so you want to head over into hi-sec and thump on some newbies and unarmed mining ships to help your flaccid e-peen to feel big again. And when we tell you to get lost you cry Carebare.” 

What of the original question?

“It started as soon as the game launched, myself and a group of friends from beta all made alts and would fit tech 1 neutrons to velators with antimatter and use about 4 or 5 to gank the extremely common at the time bestower with a single mining laser left afk to mine in the days and weeks after launch.”

=FINAL WORDS=

Cyberbullying is the use of the Internet and related technologies to harm other people, in a deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner. It involves the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior. So people who “shitpoast”, repeatedly gank miners, use locator agents, “make it personal”, convo, post said convo’s on forums, etc… are cyberbullying. Period.”

==GANKER REBUTTAL==

Indeed.

Are You Stupid?

I’m the greatest ganker in the game.

Some people call it piracy.

I think it’s just euthanasia.

Fools don’t take me seriously.

Those people are losers.

Look, I simply can’t respect a coward.

Meanwhile, I’m good at what I do.

I can be a real problem for you.

An annoying hassle, one might say.

You won’t like that side of me.

Apologies in advance.

Why??

I get asked a lot of questions.

For example, why was the miner ganked?

Some miners get ganked more than once.

I always follow the rules.

Mining permits are on sale now.

I care about each and every newbro.

New player applications cost merely 75 million isk.

Is Nezmeyana actually a new player?

Scroll down to find out!

What did you guess?

It was the moment of truth…

Did you guess correctly?

Nezmeyana is a full grown spaceadult!

She is not a new player.

This was unfortunate.

Fortunately, Nezmeyana had more isk.

Another satisfied customer.

I am always happy to help.

This miner was assigned to Isanamo.

A few minutes later…

Oh nooo….

This was a real learning experience.

I’m sure everyone had fun.

Anyways…

Honestly, I just want your isk (and your killmail).

See ya!

Absolutely Crazy

Listening to: Cat Sky Hates PvP

Absolute Order has crazy people, with crazy ideas.

Meanwhile, they are incompetent.

Will Blackflag save their carebear pets?

Here’s one former Absolute Pleb.

zxcxzx caught him attempting to mine alone (and AFK).

Poor Cat Sky was bullied out of the AO blob.

He sure talks a lot, about me apparently.

What an incoherent clown.

What will he say next?

I don’t even talk to his type.

Cool chat bro.

Check it out.

Just another 2011 newbro.

See you around kitty cat.

=COMING SOON TO A BLOG NEAR YOU=

Princess Life

Hey Tweeps, it’s me Aiko!

I sure love ganking.

I’ve made a lot of friends to rub with.

I want to help everyone.

Ya, you love it.

You like that?

Yes baby.

Nope, sorry.

I think some people will disagree!

This miner wanted to be so special.

How many are me?

What a loser.

Oh well.

Anyways…

Cheerzah!

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 52

Listening to: Get Well Soon

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 1

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 51

It was the most expensive ship xAtlas42x ever lost.

This made it difficult to fly fearless.

Mission Ready Mining had a real mining problem.

New players were quitting the game, due to endless boredom.

However, Assistance Group was determined to help.

Just in time, Kurisa finished her eyeshadow.

It was time to play EvE Online.

Kurisa, aka Kalorned, is a certified mining instructor.

This time, the Tunnel Snakes won.

This was before my time.

Slayer got slayed, and his own alliance mocked him.

Gandaulf the DeGrey is no longer laughing.

CCP was gonna need to patch the game.

Meanwhile, the biggest corporation in Highsec enjoyed rapid growth.

Hundreds of newbros were joining!

The alliance grew twenty percent in four months.

That was the start of a long slow decline.

Things were about to get worse.

To be continued…

uh oh spaghettio…

Krig’s Korner, Episode 19

Krig’s Korner, Episode 18

Welcome to the Krig Povelli show.

This miner was quite calm.

Sorry ladies…

I finally got what I want.

I rammed this miner good.

He loved it.

I just had one more request.

I wanted him to leave.

I also wanted to heal the game.

Furthermore, he needs a mining permit.

Eventually, he noticed my superior social standing.

This really triggered him.

Eventually, we parted ways.

I’m glad we met.

Thanks for the memories!

Meet a Miner

Today, we decided not to grief any miners.

Let’s just meet them instead.

cataclysm jane is one of PanFam’s mighty miners.

Cool lifestyle.

This miner explained the technical lingo.

0.0 is for 0.0s.

WoW!

Let’s meet an antiganker.

Double WoW!

Hey, don’t kill yourself in EvE Online.

I’ll do it for you.

I like to play.

Miners are real dumb.

What a ‘waste’.

That’s right.

Indeed.