Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Today, we decided not to grief any miners.
Let’s just meet them instead.
cataclysm jane is one of PanFam’s mighty miners.
Cool lifestyle.
This miner explained the technical lingo.
0.0 is for 0.0s.
WoW!
Let’s meet an antiganker.
Double WoW!
Hey, don’t kill yourself in EvE Online.
I’ll do it for you.
I like to play.
Miners are real dumb.
What a ‘waste’.
That’s right.
Indeed.
It’s not easy being a miner.
That’s why I help new players.
I volunteer with EvE University.
I’m sure they appreciate it.
That’s right.
Cheerzah brav.
Hey there.
That’s right.
Miners have a lot of questions.
That’s fine.
They are allowed to wonder…
They won’t like the answers.
Calm down miners.
Listening to: Dental Plan
The Second Battle of Torrinos began with a bang.
Envoy Arby > WISH I HAD BACKUP
Aiko Danuja > are u asking me to come to torrinos?
Envoy Arby > YA
Envoy Arby > THEY ARE NAZIS
Envoy Arby > THEY LOVE HITLER
Aiko Danuja > Kill: RossRed (Mackinaw)
Envoy Arby > hahaha
Envoy Arby > U KILLED THAT NAZI
Aiko Danuja > BACK TO BERLIN
Envoy Arby > TAK TAK DOBRE
Triple Commissar Centurion RossRed exploded.
It was a surprise inspection.
Absolute Trash alliance declared a State of Griefing.
Lieutenant Comrade Ihamori Isu was still alive.
He contacted random people to chat.
Ok buddy, sounds great!
The defense fleet was led by Lt.Cmsr valfurian saraki.
He is a Toltec paladin for TRUMP, and an experienced failganker.
Well, you can’t win every fight.
[ 2024.09.15 17:59:19 ] Thaicylias > that was fun
The fleet was dying.
Bystanders were amazed, as bot Mackinaws kept mining.
Even invincible Ihamori died.
Advo was uncloaked, and tryhard Kinhard lost a second Ferox.
It was an absolute disaster.
ABSOD discord was abuzz with confusion (and bemused spies).
It was not a good fight.
Triple Commissar Centurion Striknor was frustrated.
Meanwhile, valfurian joined a new fleet.
It was a veldspar fleet in Ibura, adjacent to Torrinos.
valfurian was happy to find a chill fleet in Lonetrek.
Of course, he’d never met April before.
Nevertheless, valfurian vowed revenge.
However, something went awry…
Uh oh!
Those darn gaunkers jumped the gate!
Teamwork makes the Dreamwork.
I tried to help him.
He was too busy.
valfurian failed again.
valfurian will never be safe.
He will never ever ride that Happy Hooker again.
Another win for Team Aiko.
Congratulations all around.
=THE END=
The Second Battle of Torrinos began in Uchomida.
A Klingon yellowboxed us without provocation.
Things went too far.
Whups.
What an absolute failure.
Just wait until tomorrow.
Oh, it’s gonna go very well.
The target moved to Torrinos.
Wow, just wow.
To be continued…
Listening to: AO Downfall
Trigger Warning: Blatant Racism in EvE Online
Hey there.
We’ve all heard the rumors.
Absolute Order is absolutely racist.
These are real screenshots from EvE Online.
Oh wow, ok.
See what I mean?
We have no tolerance for casual breakfast Klingons.
They cannot be reasoned with.
It’s not just the racism.
Absolute Order is absolutely mental.
We know how to deal with this.
Just bump them all.
Governor Lee done goofed.
Consequences will never be the same.
We’ve met before.
Haven’t we Mr Governor Lee?
That’s right.
We go way back.
Wayback.
What will MrLee think of next?
Listening to: You Got Ganked
As part of his postgank art therapy, MarkeeDragon commissioned a song to commemorate his grief.
…and now, our feature presentation…
Hey there.
On Reddit, crabs conspire.
This carebear wants to expand Highsec.
How did the lowsec community respond?
Next up, another carebear loser.
Crybabies just want easy AFK isk.
Everybody hates Safety.
Garr gaunkers gunk.
Why can’t miners AFK in peace?
Think about the newbro Hulks!
Reeeeeee, why can’t new players boomervets get free easy isk?
Where did all the miners go??
I guess they all left… right?
Some people don’t even know what they are crying about!
Ganking should be theoretically allowed, but practically impossible.
Imagine a sandbox with walls and guardrails.
Let’s get rid of those evil meanies!
The tears never stop.
Yep, another 2004 returning crybaby.
Are there any new players at all?
Oh look, another 2008 returning crybaby.
Hey, check out the 2012 returning newbro!
Question: Is whining about ganking a nullsec recruitment tactic?
I’m sensing a consensus.
One guy had a whole story…
Is this whinefest a Snuffed Out advertisement?
Hey, a 2014 returning crybaby has a theory.
What do you think?
Cheerzah!
=FINAL WORDS=
<=BONUS SALT=>
=PvP PLAYER RESPONSE=
That’s right.
It was a rainy day in Incursion Town.
The roads were infested with rats.
Editor’s Note: The original design of incursions, developed by developers who no longer develop the game, was for players to race through a maze of tunnels filled with scary space monsters… whoever made it first, could fight the BIG BOSS MOTHERSHIP for isk and glory.
In 2024, Wrathful Hawk decisively won the game.
Outwitting the carebears, he went straight through lowsec.
Along the way, Hawk met a few friends.
These boys took their entire bling fleet through Vecamia.
It’s a shortcut.
This is was some real content, in EvE Online.
Sun Tzu said the greatest warriors evade battle altogether.
That was EvE Online in its finest hour.
What happened next?
Highsec carebears failed again.
This was the typical cry and whine.
Hawk simply outplayed the plebs.
To be continued…
We have fun in Highsec.
Check out this trick.
Where’d the freighter go?
Two day newbro MEMO2556 was mystified.
Princess Aiko investigates…
In EvE Online, all losses are temporary.
I’m happy to help.
He paid.
What’s next?
Time to beg.
Another registered inmate.
Indeed.
Teamwork makes the dreamwork.
Everything hung in the balance.
Real-life discord roles were at stake.
One friendship was over forever.
MEMO’s friend scammed him to haul through Uedama.
Oh my…
Poor little fellow.
He’s out of luck.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
We all know how that turned out.
Maybe his pro friend will help him tommorrow?
Good luck little guy.
A few hours later…
Cheerzah brav!
Previously, Tee Ka tried Highsec PvP.
He lost a lot.
Tee Ka knows I am honest and true.
He’s like a father to me.
We often spend holidays together.
We are there for each other.
For Father’s Day, I played EvE Online with Daddy.
He doesn’t fit his ships very well.
He didn’t appreciate the surprise party.
I don’t even have a blob!!
We had a real heart to heart.
Tee Ka wants to get rich poor quick.
I invited him ganking.
That sounds fun!
His alts are excited to join.
To be continued…
