Category: Tears
June 22
Yesterday was the anniversary of an important moment in CODE. history.
It was on that day, one year ago, that Super Perforator made the asinine decision to squabble with Alt 00. That was dumb, although it worked out well for me.
Alt had written a nice email, suggesting that the purpose of the alliance was to euthanize miners, and warned that some individuals (unnamed) were undermining that effort with carebear roleplay. I wonder who?
In response, Super wrote a lot of mails, declining to attend James 315‘s funeral.
Although James politely ignored Super, the wayward gankbear took this as a sign, that James wanted the alliance to be a roleplay guild. This led to the August intervention in Discord, where Loyalanon, Globby, and Tweeps found common cause in their disdain. It was here that Loyalanon famously said, “We need Aiko on this big CODE. dick. Am I right, boyos?” I was truly flattered, and the succession crisis was over.
BONUS CONTENT
Lazar us (aka Coach Subway) continues to entertain with salty plebbery.
It is a mystery, why he streams daily, and then always regret his decision. Fortunately, there has been a committed effort to preserve the historical record. I enjoyed Episode 4! Of course, Lazar us has vowed to file an international justice lawsuit, to remove his public content from the public domain. Good luck!
I recently made an appearance on Twitch, where Coach confronted me.
He doesn’t like women.
He’s in love with Evan.
He doesn’t like that I’ve dunked on him repeatedly.
He began to cry, irl.
He began to curse.
He continued to cry.
He was feeling emotional.
He is running out of money.
Eventually, James came to my rescue. My hero!
It was a fun time!
Thanks!
Miners just want someone to talk with.
New players are often shocked to realize that, unlike PUBG or CoD, they can actually have a conversation with the people who are killing them.
When they realize they got beat by a girl, this often leads to an awkward moment, as it’s the first time they’ve ever actually spoken to a young lady.
I offer every new player a free isk triple.
It’s a pivotal moment in their space adventure, choosing to send their small pittance to me, instead of buying a new Venture.
I am so glad they are content.
I love helping newbros.
They all deserve a little attention.
Why do you think I do it?
It’s simple.
I’m a content creator.
Kiara Gone Wild, Part 7
Previously, in Aiko Space… Kiara paid 520 million isk for a retriever, but the Gankers Union was bumping in Uedama. So she had to pay another 10 million…
…and another 10 million…
Actually, she still owes 10 million.
Kiara was running out of money.
She couldn’t even afford insurance.
Everyone was pleased.
Later, Kiara wondered when she would get her retriever.
She waited and waited.
I suppose waiting is relaxing.
Kiara spent a whole day, relaxing in Jita.
The next day, she woke up, ready for her retriever.
She wondered when her shipment would arrive.
She waited and waited.
Then she waited some more.
The end.
BONUS CONTENT
Here is amazing behind the scenes footage of Kiara’s reaction, when she realized she was starring LIVE on james315.space!
Ultimately, Kiara was content.
Highsec Miner Grab Bag #232
I am Princess Aiko.
My agents keep me well informed.
My fans flatter me endlessly.
My enemies cry daily.
I know the best people in the galaxy.
I also know the worst.
Always!
The New Order is a wonderful community.
Everybody is having a great time.
Mining permits are now on sale!
We are here to help.
Believe it or not, some miners thank us.
Some pay for nothing at all.
Others pay me to gank them.
Pumpkin Singingblade > i am a fan of perma loss
Pumpkin Singingblade > the fun of the game is to risk assets
hiboman man > so what are you going to do now
Aiko Danuja > since you enjoy the risk, you should pay me
Pumpkin Singingblade > well
Aiko Danuja > I forego free AFK mining isk in order to bring you the fun and enjoyment you desire.
Some people wonder what’s the difference between Safety. and Code.
I suppose there’s not much difference at all.
Me and James even ganked the same miner.
So let’s just pipebomb the haters out of existence !
Cheers!
Kiara Gone Wild, Part 3
Previously, in AikoSpace (that’s MySpace)… Kiara lost a Retriever, and a Drekavac. She didn’t like this, so she decided to investigate.
Karma Bad > pay Princess Aiko Danuja
Kiara Wildmann > thats a whore sorry but a whore and not a princess
Her investigation led to me, as all things do.
Kiara Wildmann > if that a princess than she would take care that this law link gets sprayed around the system
Kiara envisioned an alternative to Fozzie sov. What if one could claim space, simply by urinating on random bushes, trees, and metal poles? Regardless, Kiara claimed ignorance of existing game mechanics, and claimed immunity.
Kiara Wildmann > i hang here a week around in jita and i didnt read anything about that im local chat
Kiara spent a full week carefully reading the special offers in Jita, and not once did she hear anything about me, the Code, the New Order, or James 315.
Karma Bad > just do a google search
Kiara Wildmann > really?
Karma offered good advice, but Kiara wasn’t listening.
Kiara Wildmann > again
Kiara Wildmann > and again i say it
Kiara Wildmann > i didn´t know it
Kiara Wildmann > if i didnt know it that its exists so HOW i should google it?
Kiara Wildmann > explaine that
Kiara Wildmann > HOW
Kiara Wildmann > HOW i do that
Kiara Wildmann > i cant google something that i never heard about it or know it thats it exists right or wrong?
Like most miners, Kiara was not calm, and just wanted a Marshal.
Kiara Wildmann > what the fuck i want in highsec never was my goal i´m just in jita to buying a fucking marshal and flying back to minmatar what the fuck i want in your or They lovely fucking highsec?
Karma Bad > dunno
Kiara Wildmann > so explaine how i can google it if i dont know it?
Kiara Wildmann > two times i got ganked
Kiara Wildmann > so shooting down every player that didn´t know thats exists and cashing isk from that is fair or how i should understand you? they didnt contact me they just shooting me down zxc had a warp interupter so i could fly away so or so not whats the fucking big deal to hold me down and contact me?
Karma Bad > sounds about right
Kiara Wildmann > read it again
Karma Bad > correct
Kiara Wildmann > wheres the big deal to interupt my warp and contact me with a warning that i get shoot if i dont pay no interupt the warp shoot me down than say NOW YOU KNOW IT NOW PAY WOW thats great thats sounds fiar oh sorry concord is my problem?
Kiara Wildmann > contact first he will see it if the player or bot are about to warp and interupt it than shoot it down so again or should we stop now? how can a player that he doesnt know that the law link exists goggle it?
Karma Bad > Code is always accepting more enforcers, to help spread the word, if you believe there should be a different way.
Miners can’t become gankers, they are psychologically incapable. However, as a courtesy, we always offer the opportunity.
Karma Bad > but…. it also sounds like you dont like aiko
Karma Bad > so….
Liking me, like like liking me, is absolutely required by law.
Kiara Wildmann > i dont like her how she act with now you know it now pay no one cames to me and tells me theres a law link nobody here in jita and around of jita so basicly i dont know it explain how i should know it if the big list of players here to spread the word i DONT pay that why i should pay for someting that i didnt know?
Karma Bad > ….
Kiara Wildmann > its not my fault that your playerbase to lazy to spread the word i´m not unwilling but explain why i should pay for something i didnt know you would pay for a visit store after to want to get out of the store and the storeowner tells you you have to payed the entry? what fines?
Karma Bad > there are fines
Kiara Wildmann > what thats means
Karma Bad > its just to bring you into compliance
Kiara Wildmann > would you pay the price to enter a store after you wants to leave this store? fact you didnt know you have to pay the enter price after leaving so explain what we do? i dont pay something nobody explains nobody calls it and i dont mean eve i mean a fucking regular store world wide in every city but i´m not unwilling sounds just not fair for a new player
Karma Bad > its just the law
Karma wanted to help, but Kiara was uncivilized.
Kiara Wildmann > dont go this way i´m not trying to break a law, i cant break a law if i dont know it! we had that point already noone cames to me and explains that nobody gave me the information about that link we had that point thats impossible to google something if the person dont know it now you come with trying to break the law
Karma Bad > yea
Kiara Wildmann > you offered me your help your asking me if you can help so explain i´m not unwilling but that price is for not knowing anything really unfair
Karma Bad > Aiko is the ruler of all
Karma decided to focus on basic facts.
Karma Bad > you have to take it directly to aiko and beg her forgiveness
Kiara Wildmann > no no i´m not begging í´m not unwilling but i will not begging i want refund my retriever i´m willing to pay 300.000.000isk and i will no longer mining around jita but for that i want my retriever and my peace i leaving jita to and travel back to my home location i pay the isk i called but i want my peace and my retriever
Karma Bad > send it to the princess
Did you catch that?
i´m willing to pay 300.000.000isk
To be continued…
Happy to Help
My Why Was I Ganked? channel offers this form.
We just want to understand.
Miners dutifully itemize their losses to the hundredth isk, which has a ‘value’ of less than one hundred millionth of a penny.
They love to describe their experience.
Let’s hear their stories.
They are having a rough time.
The gankgriefers are cheating!
Some miners want 50 billion isk to replace their Hulk.
They were wrongly ganked.
Some miners are dissatisfied.
They are frightened.
In some cases, they want compensation for ships we didn’t destroy.
They often claim they weren’t even mining…
Does that look like a mining barge to you?
I sure hope someone can help these miners.
One miner thought it would be a good idea to hide his permit.
I hope they don’t quit the game, or the internet, or life…
Regardless, I wish them luck on their travels!
I’m just glad I could help.
Heh, even Kiara filled out the form.
We can talk about her tomorrow.
Kiara Gone Wild, Part 2
Previously, in Aikospace… Kiara lost her retriever, and promptly demanded more attention. Before long, she was the star of her own story.
Kiara Wildmann > you speaking of a law of a link i dont got the link i dont got the link after i fly from jita nobody sends me that link so i never knew its against a law now you just trying to get isk from me trying to payed trying to bully me so i payed this price thats bullying thats scam from my vision your the criminal thats bullyng other fear them so they payed this fucking price
When Grey is around, miners die twice.
Kiara paid a ransom, but it wasn’t enough.
Vestrian’s Cove is no place for little miners!
Grey is pretty honest about his playstyle.
However, Kiara was still not happy.
Grey left her with some friendly advice.
Kiara decided to contact customer service.
silents?
From: Kiara Wildmann
Sent: 2021.06.24 22:17
To: Karma Bad,
whats the matter speaking of helping speaking of i should explain whats going on and now silents?
Please hold for the next available operator…
Re: Karma’s Help Chat
From: Kiara Wildmann
Sent: 2021.06.24 22:20
To: Karma Bad,
can whe chat over the normal chat is much easy for me?
Karma invited her back to Why Was I Ganked?
Kiara Wildmann > i got two times ganked well second time was my failure to trust him but first time i got ganked from zxc idc name i didnt know it was against a law i never knew it i never knew it that this link exists
Karma Bad > ok
Kiara Wildmann > i got no information about it nobody message me i would stealing ore and they would shoot me down, no nothing no input or anything else
Kiara Wildmann > doesnt explain where i can find that link that law after i undock from jita and enter that system explain where i can find that law? where i get that link? when i new to jita and the systems around it?
Kiara Wildmann > so now i should pay a way to much high price to join a corp and get a new miner retriever sounds that fair to you? is that fair for a new player who thinks on no bad things?
Kiara Wildmann > making fun of a new player because of the killboard making fun of that and this sounds that fair to you? i guess not
Karma Bad > pay Princess Aiko Danuja
Kiara Wildmann > thats a whore sorry but a whore and not a princess
Kiara was about to make a new friend!
To be continued…
Kiara Gone Wild
Maybe it was AFK, or improperly fit, or excessively mining.
For whatever reason, Sleepy Joe and zxc decided to shoot a barge.
Kiara Wildmann > i got no message no information
Kiara Wildmann > no input!
Akasha Thorne > well then
Kiara Wildmann > nobody message me
zxcxzx > now you know
Kiara Wildmann > now i know fuck you off no input no message just warp in and shoot me down you didn´t contact me and say here you need to pay or we shoot
Akasha Thorne > oof
Kiara was not pleased.
zxcxzx > Buy a permit, and you will know Safety.
Kiara Wildmann > buy me first a new retriever
She tried to negotiate.
zxcxzx > That ore is not yours to take
Kiara Wildmann > and from who from where i should know that? is there a sign Hey thats not yours?
Akasha Thorne > it’s unfortunate that you chose not to educate yourself as to applicable law
Kiara Wildmann > what law?
Sirius Threestar > Calm down miner.
Kiara Wildmann > you speaking of law speaking of stealing where the fuck i should know that?
Kiara Wildmann > WHERE is the lay WHERE i can read it
Akasha Thorne > james315.space
Kiara Wildmann > you just warp in and shoot me down i never know that link i never know that law
Akasha Thorne > welcome to life as a law-abiding citizen 🙂
Kiara Wildmann > i never got that link i never got the information so why i should pay for something i dont know
Other miners began to weigh in.
Claus Von Munchen > paying bullies to not bully you, great idea
Akasha Thorne > Paying law enforcement agents for proper licensing. This is the cornerstone of a civilized society.
Claus Von Munchen > lol; CODE retards are not law enforcement agents sorry
Akasha Thorne > your ableist language is offensive. we do not use the R-slur here.
Kiara Wildmann > i´m not lawlessness
Akasha Thorne > you just admitted to having hopped into a mining vessel
Kiara Wildmann > nobody sends me a link nobody message me
Kiara Wildmann > you just trying to get some isk from me
Akasha Thorne > this is about the law, not personal enrichment
Kiara Wildmann > what fucking law?
Akasha Thorne > the one you violated
Sirius Threestar > Kiara Wildmann, you’re a thick one aren’t you?
Kiara Wildmann > you still speak of a law what law where i can find this law
Akasha Thorne > you need to train reading comprehension to at least 1
Miners often struggle to represent themselves in court.
Kiara Wildmann > you speaking of a law of a link i dont got the link i dont got the link after i fly from jita nobody sends me that link so i never knew its against a law now you just trying to get isk from me trying to payed trying to bully me so i payed this price thats bullying thats scam from my vision your the criminal thats bullyng other fear them so they payed this fucking price
Akasha Thorne > calm down miner
zxcxzx > language miner!
Kiara Wildmann > oh dont worry zxc idc name i´m just here in jita to buy a ship after that you will never find me again in jita so screw your permit screw your bully price 😉
Kiara felt invincible.
Claus Von Munchen > FYI to any actual miners in here; just stop using Machinaws, Hulks, and Retrievers and you won’t get ganked anymore; stick with Procurers
Spread > they ganked my procurer
Kiara Wildmann > the fuck you are trying
Kiara Wildmann > thats just worthless ganking and trying to make bully isk
Kiara Wildmann > oh dont worry i´m not broken
Kiara Wildmann > if i would that i had payed your bitchi ass
Other miners continued to interrupt her monologue.
Claus Von Munchen > you’re called “Saftey” now because James is dead
hiboman man > he is alive
hiboman man > bring back James
hiboman man > you liers
hiboman man > he is not dead
hiboman man > i love you James 315
Akasha Thorne > there was even a funeral
hiboman man > no
hiboman man > he is still alive infact i sw him gank someone yesterday on zkill
Kiara Wildmann > shooting me down and trying to get isk from me for a law link i didnt get
zxcxzx > Kiara Wildmann you still crying?
Kiara Wildmann > i undock from jita and fly around for mining nobody message me thats against the law nobody sends me that link so basicly Akasha “click” please activate your brain i didn´t know its against the law “hope your brain works” so basicly mr. zxcxzx just gank me without warning me he used a waro interupter so i couldn´t fly away so or so not!
Kiara Wildmann > so wheres the problem to hold me down not shoot me down and message me its against the law?
Akasha wanted to help.
Akasha Thorne > listen
Kiara Wildmann > your not even listen to me Akasha so screw you
Kiara Wildmann > they just trying to get isk from me now trying to get isk
hiboman man > and what are you going to do
Akasha Thorne > you’re so mad over pixels
Kiara Wildmann > i´m not mad about the isk or the ship i´m mad that worthless scum thats dare to put such words in they own dirty mouth flying around bullying others and trying to make so isk
hiboman man > Kiara Wildmann i´m actualy scared of them that i just joined PH and now i live in null sec
zxcxzx > Kiara Wildmann you are now being hunted
Kiara Wildmann > i give a fuck
Claus Von Munchen > honestly Safety. might be the saddest group in the game, I feel sorry for you guys
Alas, Kiara was on tilt, and about to explode…
To be continued…