Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
The Second Battle of Torrinos began in Uchomida.
A Klingon yellowboxed us without provocation.
Things went too far.
Whups.
What an absolute failure.
Just wait until tomorrow.
Oh, it’s gonna go very well.
The target moved to Torrinos.
Wow, just wow.
To be continued…
Listening to: AO Downfall
Trigger Warning: Blatant Racism in EvE Online
Hey there.
We’ve all heard the rumors.
Absolute Order is absolutely racist.
These are real screenshots from EvE Online.
Oh wow, ok.
See what I mean?
We have no tolerance for casual breakfast Klingons.
They cannot be reasoned with.
It’s not just the racism.
Absolute Order is absolutely mental.
We know how to deal with this.
Just bump them all.
Governor Lee done goofed.
Consequences will never be the same.
We’ve met before.
Haven’t we Mr Governor Lee?
That’s right.
We go way back.
Wayback.
What will MrLee think of next?
It was a rainy day in Incursion Town.
The roads were infested with rats.
Editor’s Note: The original design of incursions, developed by developers who no longer develop the game, was for players to race through a maze of tunnels filled with scary space monsters… whoever made it first, could fight the BIG BOSS MOTHERSHIP for isk and glory.
In 2024, Wrathful Hawk decisively won the game.
Outwitting the carebears, he went straight through lowsec.
Along the way, Hawk met a few friends.
These boys took their entire bling fleet through Vecamia.
It’s a shortcut.
This is was some real content, in EvE Online.
Sun Tzu said the greatest warriors evade battle altogether.
That was EvE Online in its finest hour.
What happened next?
Highsec carebears failed again.
This was the typical cry and whine.
Hawk simply outplayed the plebs.
To be continued…
Hey there.
Each day brings new friends.
Yesterday, I helped Lady Krabs purchase 12 mining permits.
Then she reported me to the SSR.
The next morning, Mrs. Krabs woke up to reality.
Op success.
Another content subscriber.
Now the Krabs ladies can mine in peace.
Osmon is also the home of my beloved Cultural Center.
I can’t keep a secret.
He’s a real people person.
I’m glad everyone is happy.
That’s right.
Feel free to send your isk.
Works for me.
I wonder how things are going in Osmon?
Sounds like things are going great.
Thanks for the free isk, bro.
I’m glad we are friends.
Yesterday, we saw the burden of alliance leadership.
Voluminous unsolicited correspondence.
Oh boy…
Thanks for the intel.
I get lot of inquiries.
It’s not a cult. We are a congregational Fellowship of Friendos.
Next time, we’ll talk about sexual harassment in EvE Online.
That’s right.
That’s not gonna happen.
Like wtf.
Yep, that’s an antiganker.
Oh, hey there.
I guess it’s mailtime.
Some miners are not upset.
They are quite calm.
Some miners roleplay as notaminers.
No mining in Delve!
That’s right.
This Orca had plenty of ‘no’ warning…
It was all a setup! The miner exposed CCP’s evil ways.
I’m the most upvoted person in EvE forum history.
Unlike some people, I actually play EvE Online.
I get way too much email (unlike James, I don’t have a cute secretary).
It is funny tho.
A mining sniper, and not even his first time…
Bro has been doing that longer than I’ve played.
Send me one billion isk, buy 5 get one free.
Boy, I got so much game up in here.
Wow, just wow.
I can’t wait to hear more.
That’s right.
I won’t tolerate griefing in my alliance.
Sure thing, little buddy.
Ah, but I’m also cute.
That’s my isk/hr.
Hey, I’m having fun)
Welcome to Highsec.
We can play EvE Online together.
Let’s send those miners to otherwhere!
That’s right, go on, git.
I’m a real Space Ganger now.
Tunnel snakes don’t scare us.
I run five successful alliances.
We are all one team…
…spoonfeeding content to the regular workingpleb.
They love it.
Cheerzah brav.
Nobody likes a loley miner.
Loleylol!
Gotta catch em all, and then do it again.
There are a lot of alts.
CCP thought these were new players.
Each character imbued with a unique personality.
The primary purpose of the 1000+ alts we applied into MRMNG was to send in-game corp mails.
Our alts adopted various personas. They would surface posing as concerned linemembers, newly promoted corp officers, Agents of the New Order, Metallica enthusiasts, Hapsburg princesses, marine biologists, Ryan Reynolds, chronically ill teenagers, and so on. Over 90000 corp mails were sent over the course of the campaign, which ensured uninterrupted dialogue with the other 2000 members of Mission Ready Mining (aka Fly Fearless).
Meanwhile, New Order agents ensured Safety.
Tunnel Snakes are a menace.
Fly Fearless had a Snake infestation.
Every miner needs help.
They were about to get a lot of Assistance.
However, Safety isn’t free.
Next Time, on Part 52…
We’ve killed this one before.
Like all antigankers, DKslopoke is an AFK miner.
He is a certified permapleb.
He’s not any good at EvE Online.
He merely pretends to play.
DK begs to be spoonfed.
Without gankers, there is nobody to antigank. 🙁
So he begged Wrathful Hawk to play.
The antiganker desperately waited for content.
When would Hawk find a target?
Hawk explained that antiganking is boring.
It’s only for dumbdumbs.
However, DL was daydreaming about his previous Stormbringer.
Wow, he antiganked us hard.
Good times.
I guess he had fun?
Once again, DK sat on gate, waiting for hours.
Hawk worried DK would go AFK.
The boy has a reputation.
DK drank alone, while Hawk watched two movies.
Five hours later, Hawk found a target.
This is the private log of Captain Krig Povelli.
Recently, I came within 1,588m of a compressor.
Fleet chat was invigorating.
Suddenly, spaceships.
Plot Twist: I’m Krig Povelli.
I beat my own fleet at their own game.
There was no way to heal.
The ganker guy left no space.
This is what defeat looks like.
CONCORD just watched.
That fleet sucked.
Set up, hacked, and dunked.
Every fleet has winners and losers.
Aside from yours truly, this fleet was full of losers.
They decided to downgrade.
They also vowed revenge.
Will pirate kings save the miners?
Doubt.
I can’t wait for our next fleet!
