Category: Sun Tzu

Slow Boil

I’m a real Highsec escort.

That’s right.

Recently, miner Nigel ran into trouble.

He’s just a 2015 newbro.

So I agreed to assist.

I love to help the little guys.

Apparently, the mining pacifists lost a control tower?

No money? No problem!

Just send me your stuff.

It was his idea!

I’m glad we came to an agreement.

Cheerzah brav!

He just needs to pay.

That’s right.

There was just one problem.

I’ve done this before.

It works well.

I call it the 30 40 70 rule.

It works like a charm.

Later that day…

I change people’s lives!

There’s a life lesson here.

=FOLLOW UP=

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 53

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 1

Everybody was invited, to mine in Highsec.

The alliance deputy director was wormtongued, by Tunnel Snakes.

That made it easy to join.

Meanwhile, alliance leader Gei Heiyuu was incompetent.

He was the Governor Mr Lee of his era.

However, he didn’t like being blogged about.

Gai Heiyuu > Felt like contributing a comment on Minerbumping…
Gai Heiyuu > I have issues with the posts that I brought up

He found it all rather embarrassing.

Gai lectured his miners, on how to avoid gankers.

This was an advertisement, for his advanced capsuleer course.

He had no use for Tunnel Snake re-education.

To be frank, gankers don’t like miners either.

Georgia B Dixie urged Gai to endorse Tunnel Snake training.

Unfortunately, training was disrupting Gai’s botfarm.

Gay admitted his alliance was full of cowards.

Georgia suggested the problem lay with upper management.

Indeed, Gai was responsible for Sahil Yasin.

=PLOT TWIST=

Gai Heiyuu > Sahil engaging in your training multiple times, was no accident…

Gai taught Sahil to fail.

He wished more members would follow in Sahil’s footsteps.

Sahil never did get that medal…

To be continued…

In the CODE.

Next, they go to Why Was I Ganked?

True story.

Then they get bonus offers.

Another satisfied repeat customer.

He also ordered a new Bowhead.

Of course, there is a delivery fee.

That’s right.

What a happy miner.

Everything was perfectly routine.

He sent me and my alts a bunch of isk.

He even bought a mining stamp.

There’s a process?

What a plan.

Didn’t he already pay?

I’ve done it quite a few times.

PLOT TWIST: There is no file.

DOUBLE PLOT TWIST: No database either.

Jamie is just a working alt.

Nobody likes a space lawyer.

Another delinquent miner.

Eventually, he found me again.

I guess we can resolve this.

Sometimes, they try to negotiate.

I’m happy to explain.

Pleasure doing business…

Jormags wound up mumbling to himself in Jita.

Thanks for playing.

Are You Stupid?

I’m the greatest ganker in the game.

Some people call it piracy.

I think it’s just euthanasia.

Fools don’t take me seriously.

Those people are losers.

Look, I simply can’t respect a coward.

Meanwhile, I’m good at what I do.

I can be a real problem for you.

An annoying hassle, one might say.

You won’t like that side of me.

Apologies in advance.

Dunkin Dweebs

Hey there.

We are still ganking.

Antigankers are salty bads.

Totes obsessed with me.

Shaking my head.

Bro, I’m in class.

I’m not a retired bittervet boomer.

Archivist15 is another antiganking failure.

He hacked the CCP servers.

He’s gonna steal our accounts, our stuff, our Discords.

That’s an IRL felony, in game.

The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986 prohibits knowingly accessing a computer without authorization to obtain information, cause damage, or perpetrate fraud.

Eventually, Archi roleplayed a successful hack.

He’s part of the 315th Global Hacker Division.

Silly antigankers.

Welcome to AikoTown

Listening to: Billions

ArchyZavr is NOT a fool.

He’s just a guy, who enjoys losing.

I know how to please a man.

Some people call this witchcraft.

Others might call it seduction.

I remember what he said.

Oh, boy gonna find out.

It was time for Archy to put an Azbel in Uedama.

Step one: Undock and flying to Uedama.

Have you ever known me to do a trick?

This is the art of politics, by other means.

Now I can finally create AikoTown.

I love a little drama.

Just a typical day in EvE Online.

You are welcome Archy (again).

I lost decades of friendship.

I’m the coolest.

Thanks.

=BONUS CONTENT=

Archy sent a song, to show his feels.

==DDOOUUBBLLLEE BONUS==

Cat Sky got ganked (again).

Then he tried faction warfare.

What a guy!