Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Calm down, miner.
Lena is big mad.
CCP is investigating.
Fortunately, I have a space attorney.
Icelandic law allows one (1) week for all dispute resolutions.
Maybe someday you’ll read about this on Reddit.
That’s right.
=BONUS KILLMAIL=
Farewell, Lena Jackyard!
Ready or not!
Miners don’t like PvP.
It’s way too organized.
That’s fine with me.
We are all friends here.
Welcome to the team.
That’s right.
I guess it’s that time of year.
That’s right.
That’s also right.
Of course, some people lack holiday spirit.
What are your New Year’s resolutions?
I’m probably gonna have fun.
I even learned a cute new spell.
Cheerzahcadabbra!
Another happy miner.
I love to help.
xD
Where will he go next?
Silent Company had a lot to say.
So I sent bumpers after them.
Eons ago, James 315 was a bumper.
One bump can change the course of a fleet.
It took John E McCain, just four days to subdue Greater Ottawasa.
Local went empty.
On Day 5, Phoebe Beeblebrox tried to break the blockade.
Georgia B Dixie (aka John E Normus) was on the case.
The illegal miners were escorted away.
An empty belt is a compliant belt.
To maintain tranquility, Georgia would cloak after each bump.
Spooky!
To be continued…
Glenduil is a SAFE miner.
CCP gave him a carebear buff, and he feels like a boss.
He put on max shields, and removed the mining gear.
Cool fit bro.
In EvE Online, mining barges have more hitpoints than warships.
Glenduil was excited to earn 1-2 cents an hour.
One day, he met some friendly gankers!
They declined to gank his max tank bait.
Gelnduil is nearly invincible in his Highsec poverty fit.
Let’s tune in to local chat.
Ganker spy Learza congratulated Glenduil on his minimal yield.
Nah, it’s fine bro, just mine like that.
Glenduil was flummoxed.
His minimum yield zero product fit is encouraged.
Glenduil won a few pennies for his time and effort.
Carebears can survive indefinitely in an 0.8.
I hope Glenduil has fun!
He sure isn’t getting rich.
=BREAKING NEWS=
We’ve met Archy before.
Archy was the guy who funded Aikotown.
After swiping his credit card, Archy got bored.
He recycled his Jita trade alt, into a ganking alt.
PvP, not wealth accumulation, is the real game.
Isk can buy ships, but it can’t buy fun!
That’s right.
Abduleljudiopalestino tried to scam Archy.
We gave Abdul some legal advice.
However, he immediately tried another poverty scam.
Sometimes, you have to start small.
…then you can get the rest.
Another satisfied customer.
I was ready to make delivery.
He never did complete his delivery payments.
It was a real learning experience.
I wish him all the best in EvE Online.
=PLOT TWIST=
Abduleljudiopalestino > scammers veteran im fucking noob
Abdul is not a new player, he’s just a dumb vet.
Newbro Archy outplayed a guy with years of experience.
Nice job Archy.
Faramir had a problem.
His buddy Boromir was dead.
Now Faramir was under arrest.
He owed a lot of isk.
He even tried to scam Jesus!
Too little, too late.
Mine around and find out.
Oh well.
Another happy ending in EvE Online.
I’m a real Highsec escort.
That’s right.
Recently, miner Nigel ran into trouble.
He’s just a 2015 newbro.
So I agreed to assist.
I love to help the little guys.
Apparently, the mining pacifists lost a control tower?
No money? No problem!
Just send me your stuff.
It was his idea!
I’m glad we came to an agreement.
Cheerzah brav!
He just needs to pay.
That’s right.
There was just one problem.
I’ve done this before.
It works well.
I call it the 30 40 70 rule.
It works like a charm.
Later that day…
I change people’s lives!
There’s a life lesson here.
=FOLLOW UP=
Indeed.
Oh no!
He’s a real cat killer…
hehehehe
What a guy.
Two hours later…
Uh oh…
$$-BONUS ROUND-$$
I’m not messing around.
Well, I hope he’s sorry!
Cheerzah!
<=PLOT TWIST=>
That’s right.
Hey there.
That’s right.
