Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
That’s right.
Get grounded.
I’m pretty danger.
What?>
Clam daown, stupied gaunker!
Miners greetings to all.
Welcome to EvE Online, little miner.
It’s a sily game.
Every miner has his day.
Get buried, irl.
Ya know what I mean?
He finds us intriguing.
He likes something about me.
What a guy.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
That’s right.
I’m a new player.
I sell mining permits in Highsec.
Will Clark is a 2004 loser.
I asked him for help.
He wasn’t very friendly.
I made him quit the game (again).
They call me a griefer.
He is fine.
Goodbye Will.
=BONUS SALT=
Next, they go to Why Was I Ganked?
True story.
Then they get bonus offers.
Another satisfied repeat customer.
He also ordered a new Bowhead.
Of course, there is a delivery fee.
That’s right.
What a happy miner.
Everything was perfectly routine.
He sent me and my alts a bunch of isk.
He even bought a mining stamp.
There’s a process?
What a plan.
Didn’t he already pay?
I’ve done it quite a few times.
PLOT TWIST: There is no file.
DOUBLE PLOT TWIST: No database either.
Jamie is just a working alt.
Nobody likes a space lawyer.
Another delinquent miner.
Eventually, he found me again.
I guess we can resolve this.
Sometimes, they try to negotiate.
I’m happy to explain.
Pleasure doing business…
Jormags wound up mumbling to himself in Jita.
Thanks for playing.
The Twelfth Annual Venture Contest is underway.
Here are the October rankings:
There is a perfect time to get into Highsec ganking, as either competitor or spectator. Send 1 billion isk to your favorite ganker, and help them climb the rankings… or kill a few dozen Ventures yourself, and climb the November ladder yourself. Over 30 billion isk in prizes available, and more. Send isk to Aiko Danuja for the GRAND PRIZE FUND, and you will receive a special bonus gift! Every isk you donate to the prize fund will be DOUBLED three times, by the best isk doublers in the game!
Nobody can read it all.
An ocean of salt, decades deep.
In EvE Online, you can be anything you want.
Some people are crybabies.
I’m just a tabloid journalist, in outer space.
I’m also a social worker, and your new high princess (hi there).
By many accounts, I’m the best.
I run a real bad corp.
It’s an intergalactic cartel.
My friends are happy to help.
We go way back.
I’ll see you on the gates.
Cheerzah brav.
Listening to: Billions
ArchyZavr is NOT a fool.
He’s just a guy, who enjoys losing.
I know how to please a man.
Some people call this witchcraft.
Others might call it seduction.
I remember what he said.
Oh, boy gonna find out.
It was time for Archy to put an Azbel in Uedama.
Step one: Undock and flying to Uedama.
Have you ever known me to do a trick?
This is the art of politics, by other means.
Now I can finally create AikoTown.
I love a little drama.
Just a typical day in EvE Online.
You are welcome Archy (again).
I lost decades of friendship.
I’m the coolest.
Thanks.
=BONUS CONTENT=
Archy sent a song, to show his feels.
==DDOOUUBBLLLEE BONUS==
Cat Sky got ganked (again).
Then he tried faction warfare.
What a guy!
Listening to: Help From My Friends
It’s a long way to the top.
However, some capsuleers enjoy a glorious destiny.
I’m doing well, for a 2018 new player…
My alliance is newbro unfriendly, always!
The little guys love it.
That’s right.
Meanwhile…
I’m still laughing at Khromius.
Please, don’t wardec me bro.
ArchyZavr > fly safe
Rizko spotted him in the morning.
ArchyZavr > Nurds, try it if u can
He had ten thousand PLEX.
Rikzo > ArchyZavr has been here all day trying to get ganked -_-
samy my hero > you just ganna flip it into plex hanger
ArchyZavr > Everyone tells me that you can destroy any ship.Just know that there is a ship in the game that you cannot handle.Until next day 11:PM, I will hang in the gate near Juunigaishi.You can laugh it off as much as you like, but the fact remains that you are not omnipotent.
Nobody wanted the bait.
ArchyZavr > Hahahah. Safety SUCKs
ArchyZavr > ahaha. Noobs
ArchyZavr > I am Immortal Archy,And i never die
ArchyZavr > And safety sucks
Twelve hours later, Archy was still baiting.
ArchyZavr > my ship never die and Safety can’t do anything
ArchyZavr > this ship is too much for safety. I understand.
Razors Vankillsing > have fun then
ArchyZavr > yea, have fun, because safety sucks
ArchyZavr > my ship never die
ArchyZavr > I insulted safety. Will you miss it?)
Are we an good organization or no?
I love new players.
Could I destroy newbro Archy?
Aiko Danuja > I’m doing well if miners openly debate whether or not I am truly ominpotent.
ArchyZavr > )
ArchyZavr > I have already realized that safety will never attack me. Because my ship is invincible. I have never committed suicide or. And if they had committed suicide, there would have been no resentment.
Aiko Danuja > dont do that archy
ArchyZavr > Aiko Danuja I’m not trying anymore.
Aiko Danuja > so you are a weakling
ArchyZavr > OK, let’s do it again: I’m in the Sarekuwa gate to Halaima
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr send me 1 billion isk
I’m really good at this game.
Okada Aivoras > Aiko Danuja always has the best ideas
ArchyZavr > If you give your word that you will try to kill the ship, I will give you 1 B, then, if successful, 10 b.If the attempt fails on first try : you will give me 10 b. All the witnesses.p.s. Yes, you can dump me as soon as I transfer 1 billion. But this will only prove my words about weakness safety
Aiko Danuja > very well, i give my word
ArchyZavr > Take 1B. Even if you cheat, I will not regret it – it will give me a lot of joy to know that safety does not keep their word.
Challenge accepted.
Rafa Quinterro > ArchyZavr ill have a crack at that ship
ArchyZavr > Rafa Quinterro on momentos
Jinx Beirut > its a scam, he wont pay after
Rafa Quinterro > you can put the 10bil collateral to Freighty Boi
ArchyZavr > I can’t transfer 10 billion to him because I don’t know him)
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr you can trust me
ArchyZavr > I do not u 😀
Aiko Danuja > if you cant trust me, then Freighty Boi is a neutral third party
Rafa Quinterro > bro
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr if u want to get this done, let’s go
Rafa Quinterro > put the collateral up
Jinx Beirut > its a classic EvE duel
ArchyZavr > Oh, what a fuss I’ll make on the forums if it’s a hoax)
This is how we play EvE Online.
Okada Aivoras > people pay to be ganked now, things are going the right way
Freighty Boi > that is acceptable
Jinx Beirut > this is gonna be a great fight
…but could we actually gank him?
Was it all a trick?
Archy decided to wait at the sun.
He was a bling pinata.
Archy was a changed man.
Thanks for the free isk, bro.
Now he wanted his protection modules back.
I’m happy to help.
We did him a real favour.
Cheerzah brav!
Some miners talk a lot.
Well then.
It’s a fun little game.
I love miners.
Guess what?
This miner is a phukking mining martyr.
What will he say next?
He eventually bought a new Mackinaw.
Cool story bro.
That’s right.
What a guy.
Yes, there’s more.
Ok buddy.
Meanwhile, in Jita.
I get asked a lot of questions.
For example, why was the miner ganked?
Some miners get ganked more than once.
I always follow the rules.
Mining permits are on sale now.
I care about each and every newbro.
New player applications cost merely 75 million isk.
Is Nezmeyana actually a new player?
Scroll down to find out!
What did you guess?
It was the moment of truth…
Did you guess correctly?
Nezmeyana is a full grown spaceadult!
She is not a new player.
This was unfortunate.
Fortunately, Nezmeyana had more isk.
Another satisfied customer.
I am always happy to help.
This miner was assigned to Isanamo.
A few minutes later…
Oh nooo….
This was a real learning experience.
I’m sure everyone had fun.
Anyways…
Honestly, I just want your isk (and your killmail).
See ya!
