Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Hey there.
If you can’t beat me…
The alternative is death!
I run a fact based alliance.
This is what happens to miners.
They need to calm down.
I hope they go bankrupt.
Many acknowledge my divinity.
Their fate is my whim.
Oh, and I also like to play with my food.
That’s right.
We’ve met Barnso before.
TLDR
As you may recall, Hawk ganked him.
Tsk tsk.
He used this opportunity to review my CODE.
I don’t screenshot every isk.
After that, Hawk ganked him again!
PLOT TWIST: Barnso was on a secret Safety mission…
To be continued…
Welcome to EvE Online, MrLentereng.
He pled not guilty.
He just needs a flight permit.
That’s right.
Happy to help the newbiewer.
Financial consultants are standing by.
I wonder how much isk he makes?
…can’t wait to meet him again.
We’ve met Archy before.
Archy was the guy who funded Aikotown.
After swiping his credit card, Archy got bored.
He recycled his Jita trade alt, into a ganking alt.
PvP, not wealth accumulation, is the real game.
Isk can buy ships, but it can’t buy fun!
That’s right.
Abduleljudiopalestino tried to scam Archy.
We gave Abdul some legal advice.
However, he immediately tried another poverty scam.
Sometimes, you have to start small.
…then you can get the rest.
Another satisfied customer.
I was ready to make delivery.
He never did complete his delivery payments.
It was a real learning experience.
I wish him all the best in EvE Online.
=PLOT TWIST=
Abduleljudiopalestino > scammers veteran im fucking noob
Abdul is not a new player, he’s just a dumb vet.
Newbro Archy outplayed a guy with years of experience.
Nice job Archy.
It’s new player appreciation day!
Cheerzah brav!
Fun times in EvE Online.
Another satisfied customer.
That’s right.
I’m a real Highsec escort.
That’s right.
Recently, miner Nigel ran into trouble.
He’s just a 2015 newbro.
So I agreed to assist.
I love to help the little guys.
Apparently, the mining pacifists lost a control tower?
No money? No problem!
Just send me your stuff.
It was his idea!
I’m glad we came to an agreement.
Cheerzah brav!
He just needs to pay.
That’s right.
There was just one problem.
I’ve done this before.
It works well.
I call it the 30 40 70 rule.
It works like a charm.
Later that day…
I change people’s lives!
There’s a life lesson here.
=FOLLOW UP=
Aiden Vail is a mining man.
Unfortunately, he fell behind on rent.
Consequently, he needs a new ship.
Fortunately, it was Black Friday!
He was a real ice aspirant.
Cool story bro!
Another 2007 newbro.
I naturally established an empathetic rapport.
This is a useful ability.
“The target must succeed on a DC 17 Wisdom saving throw or be charmed. The charmed target regards the vampire as a trusted friend, and is a willing target.”
“Harlots can be both brazen strumpets and haughty courtesans. In addition to the usual fare, the harlot is 15% likely to make something up, and 20% likely to be a thief.
Trust is the basis of every relationship.
Another satisfied customer.
I’m such a good soul.
That’s right.
PRO TIP: Jita has several unique stations!
Somehow, he discovered the blog.
I love to help.
He’s trying to scam me!
I’ve been here before.
It’s just basic math.
Vail asked his new friend for advice.
That’s right.
I explained everything.
That’s the best minigame in EvE Online.
Sad ending…
Life is full of new experiences.
Cheerzah!
Indeed.
Oh no!
He’s a real cat killer…
hehehehe
What a guy.
Two hours later…
Uh oh…
$$-BONUS ROUND-$$
I’m not messing around.
Well, I hope he’s sorry!
Cheerzah!
<=PLOT TWIST=>
That’s right.
First, chat with a miner.
I like to be direct.
He didn’t take the hint.
Mine around and find out!
PLOT TWIST: That’s just my alt.
So the miner contacted a supervisor…
“No miner can be lawfully ganked unless they are given a full advance warning, with a 60 second truce allowing them to dock up safely.”
No warning, in my Halaima?
He was informed, but ok…
I keep my Highsec safe.
I value my friends.
I love to help.
This is a good racket.
What a great space job.
That’s right.
Read all about it!
That’s right…
Everything according to plan.
Just another day in EvE Online.
Amazing content.
My ‘friend’ never corrected me.
In fact, the little parrot was scamming me.
Everyone loves a free SRP.
They apparently see it coming.
I play the game my way.
This is not my first time.
It adds up.
It works!
=BONUS ROUND=
I almost forgot.
Nobody likes a delinquent miner.
A few moments later…
Another satisfied customer.
=POSTSCRIPT=
Eventually, Andreska bought a new ship…
It never reached the ice.
xD
=THE END=
That’s right.
Get grounded.
I’m pretty danger.
What?>
Clam daown, stupied gaunker!
Miners greetings to all.
Welcome to EvE Online, little miner.
It’s a sily game.
Every miner has his day.
Get buried, irl.
Ya know what I mean?
He finds us intriguing.
He likes something about me.
What a guy.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
That’s right.
