Category: revenge

Ice Pirate

Listening to: The Ice Pirates

I play EvE Online.

It’s like Idiocracy, in outer space.

Everyone loved the tale of Tee Ka and his alts.

Now meet Ketse…

He can transfer 60-70b!

He’s a self-proclaimed goonpirate!

What a guy.

He also steals my ice.

So I helped him stop.

He was enthusiastic.

However, he forgot about his other Mackinaws.

It was a Pirate v Pirate space battle.

I guess he’s a fan?

I think he asked me on a date.

It’s a hard knock life.

I wish Ketse all the best.

However, the feeling is not mutual.

BUSTED!

Back to low…

What a crazy miner.

What a noons!

Everybody in Delve will pay.

That’s right.

I wish I was good at this game.

At least he’s not mad.

That’s right.

At least he’s still a fan…

…but ow we are no longer frriends =((

Is this salt? 🙂

Cheerzah!

=POSTSCRIPT=

Wipe Out

Miners make a lot of threats.

Naturally, we evict riffraff.

Sometimes, they are crazier than normal.

Yep, it’s a Jesus miner.

The power of Christ compels!

They’ll never calm down.

That’s right.

Cheerzah!

=BONUS CONTENT=

Let’s see what Catalina had to say.

Ah, it’s a make-a-deal miner.

Sounds legit.

This was one tough negotiator.

Wow, this miner has connections.

Miner’s rebellion when?

Mmhm, sure.

Anyways, I got killrights.

I had to get out of there!

…then I came back (with more killrights).

Fun times!

Absolute Facts

It’s easy mode, with no CONCORD.

Trust me, they cry just as much.

I gank in Highsec for a reason.

Call me callous.

I’m killing your alliance, right now.

That’s reality.

Somebody said Absolute Order is a ganking alliance?

“Involved with” ganking, yes but…

That attracts the wrong kind of attention.

I never forget a bad Highsec guild.

Hey, I hotdrop in High.

I’m cool.

Empty

What happened?

Nobody likes a miner.

We kill miners )))

“Bitch, you are jerking people off killing them. I feel sad that your older brother rapes you. Your attempt to self validate on the internet will not help. You need a real psychologist. You are sick. I pity you”

I pity the miner.

Why does the miner spew?

Let’s find out!

Get drained.

Let’s read that again…

That’s right.

That’s right!

Welcome to EvE Online.

There’s a learning curve.

That’s right.

Service guaranteed.

Agents are standing by.

I love this game.

That’s right…


Isanamo

Listening to: Shadow Hunter

Oh hi, ya, I live here.

Sort of like a place you might expect me.

This is what GPT says we do.

#1 alltime destroyer/battlecruiser/bomber ALLTIME CHAMPIONS

PewPEWpew – heavy flak from barski

Now that’s REAL PvP.

I’ll add him to the list.

2+8+3=1 Dead Orca

It’s never too late to repent.

They wonder why we gank them…

COMING SOON

In thirteen plus one day…

=THIS SUMMER=

4.91 = 4 + 9 + 1 = 13 + 1

4 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 4 = 13 + 1

We caught a war criminal, in EvE Online.

Absolute Matrix

Governor Lee tried to annex Lonetrek (again).

Not on my watch!

The absolute plebs are on my list.

That’s right.

They are bad at mining, ganking, and antiganking.

In EvE Online, miners be crazy.

Get blocked!

Like seriously.

Welcome to the Absolute Matrix.

It’s full of trash.

They are never calm.

In EvE Online, we pick our own fights.

Who will Absolute Order send against me?

I sure hope they figure it out.

FROM DOWNTOWN

Every miner must obey the law.

That’s right.

Absolute Pleb

It’s not griefing, when you are sincerely salty.

Losers can say whatever they want in EvE Online.

Eventually, he found me.

Gankers have to follow CCP’s EULA.

Crybabies enjoy free speech.

What a guy.

He’s absolutely salty.

This went on for a few days.

Meanwhile, the Absolute Pleb discord had a laugh.

It’s not harassment, when you are bad at EvE Online.

This is what antigankers do.

That’s appropriate language for a miner.

Let’s see what else he had to say.

PLOT TWIST: He likes me more than you)))))) xD

Miners can use all the bad words.

PLOT TWIST: He has a crush on me.

What a classy guy.

I have a solution for miners like him.

There’s your warning, buddy.

PLOT TWIST: Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.

Welcome to reality, little guy.

That’s right.

Tee Ka’s Big Revenge

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 1

That’s right.

That’s right!

Tee Ka is a friendly miner.

He’s been around a while.

His alts like to talk him up.

These stories are unbelievable.

Tee Ka is also prone to emotional outbursts.

This is because he was defeated, again and again.

Along the way, his other alt learned to eject.

This is fine with us.

We’ve given him fair warning.

We’ve tried to help.

There he is, a known neutral.

Recently, Tee Ka leveled up…

He ganked an explorer!!!

Even with carebear mods, ganking is harder than it looks.

As Tee Ka celebrated his great revenge…

…he soon discovered kill rights.

Then we ganked him back (again and again).

Two can play that ganker game!

He’s gradually accepted reality.

Another happy miner.

Good for him!

*****POSTSCRIPT*****

Tee Ka went on to die many more times.

CheerZAH!

Antiganking Saltopia

Oi.

People notice me.

Hey there!

Hihi))

Antiganking miners say whatever they want.

Oh, I love it, thanks for asking.

Only gankers have to follow the EULA.

It’s ok, you can cry all day in EvE Online.

It’s not griefing, when you are salty.

It’s not harassment, if you are a whinebaby.

That’s right.

Cool story bro.

Nobody likes an antiganking miner.

Cheerzah!