Category: notaminer

CASTOLE is COOL

What do you think?

They can’t help but admire us.

In EvE Online, newbros create content (unlike burnt out boomers).

Cool cat CASTOLE is living RENT FREE.

I bet CASTOLE is BIG MAD, isn’t that sound right?

CASTOLE is our 2025 New Player of the Year!

Who do you think has the right attitude?

We recently hosted the 25th Annual Bitterbear vs Newbro Tournament. If you are unfamiliar with the competition, perhaps because you are new to EvE Online, I will explain. We picked an older player, Hrothgar Nilsson (who has been playing for 14 years), and Hrothgar was paired against CASTOLE (who is a total beginner). Hrothy represented Novus Plebo, while CASTOLE represented the mighty Team Safety.

AMAZING!

CASTOLE defeated Hrothgar Nilsson, 12-1.

Unlike Hrothy, CASTOLE is an elite ganker.

I bet the Conference of Novus Plebo would love to recruit him.

Good luck with that.

That’s right.

Hey look! CASTOLE is recruiting other newbros…

Maybe I’ll talk to everybody?

I can finally tell my side of the story (again and again).

I guess it’s that time again.

o7 from Highsec!

To be continued…


Man That Is Gay

It’s always the same pattern.

Post your shit racist diatribes online, and look what happens.

Now I’m just SO lonely.

If only someone, anyone, would just please talk to me.

That’ll do.

I guess this is why I’m BIG MAD on the daily.

I hope that miner calms down.

Just accept it, move on and play the game.

If you can…

Cheerzah brav!

Prime Admiral Aiko

Welcome back to the best blog in EvE Online.

I know you read it.

My blog literally inspires you.

Isn’t that right?

I wonder what could go wrong?

Now what will Globby do?

I’ll wait until Wrathful Hawk figures it out.

Why are these miners such racist crybabies?

Here’s the big question.

Why are we STILL happening to them?

Are they enjoying the drama?

Miners often wonder what is happening.

I would say they are still finding out.

Consequences will never be the same.

You know what I’m sayin?

There’s more headed your way.

Some people actually love a fight.

I certainly do.

LOL!

LMAO!

Can you guess what happened next?

That’s right.

That’s right!

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Dracula Whinebaby

He had a ship that could shoot back.

Meanwhile, another miner started to cry.

Shooting back just isn’t enough.

It was a good fight.

The miners backed each other up.

Not everyone can be me.

I’m kinda the best.

That’s right.

Oh look, I killed Dracula.

I also caught Captain Hook.

Cool.

Here’s another clam miner.

o7 capsuleers!

Highsec Miner Grab Bag, #255

Highsec Miner Grab Bag, #254

TRIGGER WARNING: EvE Online

I got a lot of EvEMail.

Some miners want to pimp me out at Fanfest.

They love to share their fantasies.

There’s more where that came from.

Other miners want to apologize.

Even apologetic miners need mining permits.

Woah! Calm down…

o7 capsuleers!

That’s right.

Fat Wiggers Inc.

Let’s check it out.

Safety. is such a creative alliance.

I bet I can turn that into music.

Amazing!

All true and factpilled.

q why u kill pod
a cuz i was bored n u was breathin wrong ez clap

q i wasnt even flyin
a wasnt even carin lil bro welcome to space

q but i new
a u new to dyin too ggs

q had no implants
a damn bro so u broke n dead tough combo

q i afk
a LMAOOO okay bet congrats now u afk in the clone bay lol

q u only kill defenseless
a nah i kill wit purpose that purpose bein boredom

q wat i do
a existed near me no insurance plan bad life choices

q feel bad yet
a feel bad these hands dont kno remorse lil bro

q can i get my stuff bak
a come outside n ask nicely lets see wat happen

q u ruinin eve
a nah u ruinin local wit all that cryin

q why highsec
a easy bake killmails sweet like cinnabon n u smelled delicious

q i reportin u
a snitchin wont put ur pod back together rat

q got life or nah
a got killboard n bad attitudes thats better

Any other questions?

Here, have a FREE bonus song, bro.

I bet Aiko is fun at parties.

That’s right.

KillJoy Cries Again

Listening to: Come at Me Bro

Previously, we met a real killjoy.

I can always spot a not calm miner.

He had more to say.

He soon obtained a space attorney, BooBoo TheFoo.

Would he listen to BooBoo?

The client was most unwell.

Perhaps, it was time to resign.

So our killjoy vowed to quit.

That will teach us.

Before leaving, he admitted to mining.

He also cast a spell of immortality upon me.

I’ll see you all in eighty thousand years!