



Welcome to EvE Online.

This is a serious game.

That’s right.

Cool story bro.

Ok then.

Thanks for the intel.

That’s right.

Cheerzah brav!


Works every time… always!



Contact me with any questions or concerns…



You love it.


Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Welcome to EvE Online.
This is a serious game.
That’s right.
Cool story bro.
Ok then.
Thanks for the intel.
That’s right.
Cheerzah brav!
Works every time… always!
Contact me with any questions or concerns…
You love it.
Hey there.
Some gankbears are SALTY.
They miss James 315… where’d he go?
Now they’ve got to deal with me.
I’m very popular these days.
I love it.
That’s right.
That’s right…
Cheerzah!
=Weird Font Color Autism=
Isn’t that right?
Hey there.
Oh boy, it’s that time again.
Cool story bro.
Where’s the salt?
Now that’s why I play EvE Online.
That’s right.
Some people are plebs!
That’s right!
Um…
Uh…
That’s right!
How do I PLEX my accounts?
Cheerzah brav.
Always!
We honor the miner’s sacrifice.
Every belt Dracula has his day.
Sometimes we catch a couple.
Aren’t they cute?
Thanks for playing EvE Online!
The gmae was ruined.
Mission Ready Mining had a recruiting problem.
Fly Fearless alliance was infested with tunnel snakes.
Executor Gai Heiyuu was at fault.
The buck stops at the top.
Suddenly, EvEmail…
“Without any warning whatsoever, an unsolicited EVE-mail arrived in the inbox of every single member of Mission Ready Mining. This was no ordinary EVE-mail. It was a corpmail. But this communication was special for another reason; it happened to contain a link to a minerbumping post about Mission Ready Mining. Curiously, it also includes a quote attributed to Tora Bushido, as well as references to the mysterious Assistance Group.
A shiver ran down the thing that MRMNG CEO Gai Heiyuu had been passing off as a spine. He had been fearing this day might come since the spring of 2017, when he ordered the emergency evacuation of Gelhan. *They* were back.”
Editor’s Note: Yes, I am quoting an illustrated narrative, published privately in a secret Discord.
Historian’s Note: This incident explains why members of a corporation are no longer allowed to mail everybody else in the corporation.
MRMNG went into full spai lockdown.
Friends turned on one another.
To be continued…
Welcome to Season 15.
Some miners are gay.
That’s cool.
There’s a lot of intrigue in EvE Online.
Every killmail is legendary.
That’s right.
Let’s see what German Pete Hegseth said…
That’s right!
Even the little guys enjoy EvE Online.
The alliance description is self-explanatory.
However, God hates miners.
In fact, nobody likes miners.
It all started in Botane.
Krig Povelli > Wow! That is one really fast procurer!
Graeth was AFK and didn’t mine.
He advised other miners to take a nap.
LadyBug had enough.
Graeth Raltharn > its just an empty life
She began talking about Krig’s penis.
Later, LadyBug regretted what she said.
Bro, I get a lot of EvEmail (no, I can’t read it all).
LadyBug told the story several times.
PLOT TWIST: Krig Povelli strikes again!
Uh oh!
We don’t allow penis jokes in Highsec.
Fortunately, I was there to help.
Another successful intervention.
Krig even got a killmail!
Where’d the Orca go?
Word started to spread in local.
Anoher happy ending.
I hope LadyBug does better next time.
LadyBug had more to say.
What a chatty Cathy.
Oh my God…
Occasionally, I respond.
I’m the voice of reason.
LadyBug learned a real life lesson.
She just had a few more things to say.
The conversation became colorful.
At some point, LadyBug began writing herself.
I got all the facts.
I’ve completed my investigation.
Krig Povelli has a license to bump.
To be honest, we both hate miners.
I guess it’s that time of year.
That’s right.
That’s also right.
Of course, some people lack holiday spirit.
What are your New Year’s resolutions?
I’m probably gonna have fun.
I even learned a cute new spell.
Cheerzahcadabbra!
Another happy miner.
I love to help.
xD
Where will he go next?
Hey there.
Hey again.
We get around.
That’s a fack.
Miners have a lot to say.
They’ve always got an excuse.
It’s a hardknock life.
I wish them all the best.
They are a special people.
That’s right.
See what I mean?
Nobody can read it all.
An ocean of salt, decades deep.
In EvE Online, you can be anything you want.
Some people are crybabies.
I’m just a tabloid journalist, in outer space.
I’m also a social worker, and your new high princess (hi there).
By many accounts, I’m the best.
I run a real bad corp.
It’s an intergalactic cartel.
My friends are happy to help.
We go way back.
I’ll see you on the gates.
Cheerzah brav.