Category: Funerals

Missing Freighter

We have fun in Highsec.

Check out this trick.

Where’d the freighter go?

Two day newbro MEMO2556 was mystified.

Princess Aiko investigates…

In EvE Online, all losses are temporary.

I’m happy to help.

He paid.

What’s next?

Time to beg.

Another registered inmate.

Indeed.

Teamwork makes the dreamwork.

Everything hung in the balance.

Real-life discord roles were at stake.

One friendship was over forever.

MEMO’s friend scammed him to haul through Uedama.

Oh my…

Poor little fellow.

He’s out of luck.

=BEHIND THE SCENES=

We all know how that turned out.

Maybe his pro friend will help him tommorrow?

Good luck little guy.

A few hours later…

Cheerzah brav!

<3

Welcome to Highsec.

We can play EvE Online together.

Let’s send those miners to otherwhere!

That’s right, go on, git.

I’m a real Space Ganger now.

Tunnel snakes don’t scare us.

I run five successful alliances.

We are all one team…

…spoonfeeding content to the regular workingpleb.

They love it.

Cheerzah brav.

Nobody likes a loley miner.

Loleylol!

Gotta catch em all, and then do it again.

Slowpoke Gets Poked Again

We’ve killed this one before.

Like all antigankers, DKslopoke is an AFK miner.

He is a certified permapleb.

He’s not any good at EvE Online.

He merely pretends to play.

DK begs to be spoonfed.

Without gankers, there is nobody to antigank. 🙁

So he begged Wrathful Hawk to play.

The antiganker desperately waited for content.

When would Hawk find a target?

Hawk explained that antiganking is boring.

It’s only for dumbdumbs.

However, DL was daydreaming about his previous Stormbringer.

Wow, he antiganked us hard.

Good times.

I guess he had fun?

Once again, DK sat on gate, waiting for hours.

Hawk worried DK would go AFK.

The boy has a reputation.

DK drank alone, while Hawk watched two movies.

Five hours later, Hawk found a target.

Hellform Down

Listening to: Miner Down

Some alliances are trash.

Some are not.

My alliance has a flagblog, with fun stories about Tee Ka’s alts.

We provide a real service for the community.

We are doing great!

Miners are so stupid, and they don’t even know it.

Fumbled? No loot? What?

No kidding.

Some carebears hide behind a good sport veneer.

I see right through that.

What would make my alliance better?

GarRrrAR Gr00)00)((()()()()N

What a game.

Krig’s Korner, Episode 18

Krig’s Korner, Episode 17

This is the private log of Captain Krig Povelli.

Recently, I came within 1,588m of a compressor.

Fleet chat was invigorating.

Suddenly, spaceships.

Plot Twist: I’m Krig Povelli.

I beat my own fleet at their own game.

There was no way to heal.

The ganker guy left no space.

This is what defeat looks like.

CONCORD just watched.

That fleet sucked.

Set up, hacked, and dunked.

Every fleet has winners and losers.

Aside from yours truly, this fleet was full of losers.

They decided to downgrade.

They also vowed revenge.

Will pirate kings save the miners?

Doubt.

I can’t wait for our next fleet!

Ice Pirate

Listening to: The Ice Pirates

I play EvE Online.

It’s like Idiocracy, in outer space.

Everyone loved the tale of Tee Ka and his alts.

Now meet Ketse…

He can transfer 60-70b!

He’s a self-proclaimed goonpirate!

What a guy.

He also steals my ice.

So I helped him stop.

He was enthusiastic.

However, he forgot about his other Mackinaws.

It was a Pirate v Pirate space battle.

I guess he’s a fan?

I think he asked me on a date.

It’s a hard knock life.

I wish Ketse all the best.

However, the feeling is not mutual.

BUSTED!

Back to low…

What a crazy miner.

What a noons!

Everybody in Delve will pay.

That’s right.

I wish I was good at this game.

At least he’s not mad.

That’s right.

At least he’s still a fan…

…but ow we are no longer frriends =((

Is this salt? 🙂

Cheerzah!

=POSTSCRIPT=

End of an Era, Part 16

End of an Era, Part 1

Someone is always griefing the carebears.

So CCP put their free incursion money on a distant island.

Boo hoo hoo. Grr CCPuh-leez.

Maybe griefers would kill mom, for free?

Alas, gankers refuse to PvE on demand.

Island PvE is too much for lazy crabs.

Island mechanics are killing the game!

Why is CCP doing this?

There was a mom, but still no fleet…

Highsec carebears only want the easiest isk.

Finally, CCP spoonfed a nearby destination.

To be continued…

Let’s try ChatGPT…

Absolute Facts

It’s easy mode, with no CONCORD.

Trust me, they cry just as much.

I gank in Highsec for a reason.

Call me callous.

I’m killing your alliance, right now.

That’s reality.

Somebody said Absolute Order is a ganking alliance?

“Involved with” ganking, yes but…

That attracts the wrong kind of attention.

I never forget a bad Highsec guild.

Hey, I hotdrop in High.

I’m cool.