Mad Cuz A Gank

Torvald Uruz quit, but then came back.

The instanced abyssalbear got ganked.

Next, he temper tantrum ragequit.

I investigated the mood in his channel.

The community is disappointed with Torvald.

Nobody likes a crybaby quitbear.

Torvald didn’t leave anything for friends.

Maybe he never had any.

He’s just big mad.

Cool story bro.

I guess he’s salty at CCP.

Oh well.

Farewell lonely spaceman.

Nobody is impressed.

What a waste.

Not a good way to go.

Yikes.

Sad.

Anyways.

=BONUS QUITTERS=

So many tragic stories…

Cheerzah!


Thirteen Years of Failure

Let’s check out the old forums.

Chribba is bad at EvE, and worse at website design.

“Did it begin with killing mining bots…”

Let’s take a walk in history…

Some things never change.

Miners always whine and salt.

It never stops.

“What happens to us new players?”

Here’s more…

They have not evolved in over a decade.

That’s right.

“Today, a bunch of gankers descended upon the belt our corp is in and blew up a couple of ships with that suicide catalyst fit they all have (because, apparently, no one can custom fit anything anymore). This is the same group of guys that started harassing us in belts a few days ago…”

Those goshdarn gankers!

GarrRR.

“Basically they are players who want to be PVPers but every time they go looking for PVP they get their butts kicked. So rather than putting the effort into learning to be competitive they go kill players they know they can not loose against, namely miners and haulers. then to make them selves feel better about totally failing at PVP they act all macho and say they do it for the tiers.”

“Really there is no point to it. It takes no skill, you can not learn to PVP by killing players who can not shoot back, and there is rarely any reward in it. But some asshats just don’t get it. For some reason it makes them feel l33t when they kill carebears. How is killing a defenseless carebear something to be proud of? It is like the difference between shooting an animal in a cage or actually going out and hunting where the animal actually has a chance at survival. The ganker would have you believe that shooting the animal in the cage is the same as shooting an animal in the wild, after all they are still shooting the same animal. They seem to miss the fact that the point of hunting that makes it fun is the challenge of the hunt not just the act of pulling the trigger.”

 “My beef is with the gankers who have no PVP skills and the only way they get kills is by ganking. Ganking does not make you a PVPer… also blobbing is not a form of grieving while ganking although not always grieving, can be, and often is, used for grieving.”

Hathathat.

“CCP has already taken steps to tone down the level of ganking. The problem is that the ganking community revolts and rages against this and only goes out and ganks more. If we continue to escalate the level of ganking CCP will be FORCED to drop the hammer. THIS CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO HAPPEN!! The ganking community will have no one to blame but themselves. Law enforcement must step up…”

Where did all these gankers come from?

“…and formed their own alliance of greatly overrated, obnoxious, narcissistic, stupid, worthless, arrogant, rotund malcontents.”

“…the demographic of pew-pew basement dwellers who got picked on in high school for being too fat/acne ridden/smelly/short/whatever who now find their only two pleasures in life comes from 1) Feeling like Real Big Men from ganking people who can’t even shoot back and 2) Furry “erotic art.” They don’t care about the economy, they don’t care about supply and demand, nor do they care about anything except finally having found an alternate reality where they get to be the schoolyard bully…”

” You can’t hack in the real PvP world so you want to head over into hi-sec and thump on some newbies and unarmed mining ships to help your flaccid e-peen to feel big again. And when we tell you to get lost you cry Carebare.” 

What of the original question?

“It started as soon as the game launched, myself and a group of friends from beta all made alts and would fit tech 1 neutrons to velators with antimatter and use about 4 or 5 to gank the extremely common at the time bestower with a single mining laser left afk to mine in the days and weeks after launch.”

=FINAL WORDS=

Cyberbullying is the use of the Internet and related technologies to harm other people, in a deliberate, repeated, and hostile manner. It involves the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior. So people who “shitpoast”, repeatedly gank miners, use locator agents, “make it personal”, convo, post said convo’s on forums, etc… are cyberbullying. Period.”

==GANKER REBUTTAL==

Indeed.

Are You Stupid?

I’m the greatest ganker in the game.

Some people call it piracy.

I think it’s just euthanasia.

Fools don’t take me seriously.

Those people are losers.

Look, I simply can’t respect a coward.

Meanwhile, I’m good at what I do.

I can be a real problem for you.

An annoying hassle, one might say.

You won’t like that side of me.

Apologies in advance.

Homeland3r Fails Again

Hey there.

The Twelfth Annual Venture Hunting Contest is kicking off.

Crybaby Vokan is still whining about the 2018 Contest.

Hahaha, damn bro, sorry you lost!

Homeland3r is another Highsec whinebear.

I warned him three years ago!

Now he got himself into trouble!

Oh wow, he wrote a prison manifesto.

Bro is salty his freighter couldn’t solo a terrorist warfleet.

Let’s see what Reddit says…

Gottem!

That’s right.

Miners are so stupid.

Facts!

Think of the newbro Bowheads!

Those poor innocent 2008 newbros!

hathathat

They never stop crying.

Here’s a tip from gman32bro…

Final Words!

Welcome to AikoTown

Listening to: Billions

ArchyZavr is NOT a fool.

He’s just a guy, who enjoys losing.

I know how to please a man.

Some people call this witchcraft.

Others might call it seduction.

I remember what he said.

Oh, boy gonna find out.

It was time for Archy to put an Azbel in Uedama.

Step one: Undock and flying to Uedama.

Have you ever known me to do a trick?

This is the art of politics, by other means.

Now I can finally create AikoTown.

I love a little drama.

Just a typical day in EvE Online.

You are welcome Archy (again).

I lost decades of friendship.

I’m the coolest.

Thanks.

=BONUS CONTENT=

Archy sent a song, to show his feels.

==DDOOUUBBLLLEE BONUS==

Cat Sky got ganked (again).

Then he tried faction warfare.

What a guy!

ArchyZavr, Not a Fool

ArchyZavr > fly safe

Rizko spotted him in the morning.

ArchyZavr > Nurds, try it if u can

He had ten thousand PLEX.

Rikzo > ArchyZavr has been here all day trying to get ganked -_-
samy my hero > you just ganna flip it into plex hanger
ArchyZavr > Everyone tells me that you can destroy any ship.Just know that there is a ship in the game that you cannot handle.Until next day 11:PM, I will hang in the gate near Juunigaishi.You can laugh it off as much as you like, but the fact remains that you are not omnipotent.

Nobody wanted the bait.

ArchyZavr > Hahahah. Safety SUCKs
ArchyZavr > ahaha. Noobs
ArchyZavr > I am Immortal Archy,And i never die
ArchyZavr > And safety sucks

Twelve hours later, Archy was still baiting.

ArchyZavr > my ship never die and Safety can’t do anything
ArchyZavr > this ship is too much for safety. I understand.
Razors Vankillsing > have fun then
ArchyZavr > yea, have fun, because safety sucks
ArchyZavr > my ship never die
ArchyZavr > I insulted safety. Will you miss it?)

Are we an good organization or no?

I love new players.

Could I destroy newbro Archy?

Aiko Danuja > I’m doing well if miners openly debate whether or not I am truly ominpotent.
ArchyZavr > )
ArchyZavr > I have already realized that safety will never attack me. Because my ship is invincible. I have never committed suicide or. And if they had committed suicide, there would have been no resentment.
Aiko Danuja > dont do that archy
ArchyZavr > Aiko Danuja I’m not trying anymore.
Aiko Danuja > so you are a weakling
ArchyZavr > OK, let’s do it again: I’m in the Sarekuwa gate to Halaima
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr send me 1 billion isk


I’m really good at this game.

Okada Aivoras > Aiko Danuja always has the best ideas
ArchyZavr > If you give your word that you will try to kill the ship, I will give you 1 B, then, if successful, 10 b.If the attempt fails on first try : you will give me 10 b. All the witnesses.p.s. Yes, you can dump me as soon as I transfer 1 billion. But this will only prove my words about weakness safety
Aiko Danuja > very well, i give my word
ArchyZavr > Take 1B. Even if you cheat, I will not regret it – it will give me a lot of joy to know that safety does not keep their word.

Challenge accepted.

Rafa Quinterro > ArchyZavr ill have a crack at that ship
ArchyZavr > Rafa Quinterro on momentos
Jinx Beirut > its a scam, he wont pay after
Rafa Quinterro > you can put the 10bil collateral to Freighty Boi
ArchyZavr > I can’t transfer 10 billion to him because I don’t know him)
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr you can trust me
ArchyZavr > I do not u 😀
Aiko Danuja > if you cant trust me, then Freighty Boi is a neutral third party
Rafa Quinterro > bro
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr if u want to get this done, let’s go
Rafa Quinterro > put the collateral up
Jinx Beirut > its a classic EvE duel
ArchyZavr > Oh, what a fuss I’ll make on the forums if it’s a hoax)

This is how we play EvE Online.

Okada Aivoras > people pay to be ganked now, things are going the right way
Freighty Boi > that is acceptable
Jinx Beirut > this is gonna be a great fight

…but could we actually gank him?

Was it all a trick?

Archy decided to wait at the sun.

He was a bling pinata.

Archy was a changed man.

Thanks for the free isk, bro.

Now he wanted his protection modules back.

I’m happy to help.

We did him a real favour.

Cheerzah brav!


Why??

I get asked a lot of questions.

For example, why was the miner ganked?

Some miners get ganked more than once.

I always follow the rules.

Mining permits are on sale now.

I care about each and every newbro.

New player applications cost merely 75 million isk.

Is Nezmeyana actually a new player?

Scroll down to find out!

What did you guess?

It was the moment of truth…

Did you guess correctly?

Nezmeyana is a full grown spaceadult!

She is not a new player.

This was unfortunate.

Fortunately, Nezmeyana had more isk.

Another satisfied customer.

I am always happy to help.

This miner was assigned to Isanamo.

A few minutes later…

Oh nooo….

This was a real learning experience.

I’m sure everyone had fun.

Anyways…

Honestly, I just want your isk (and your killmail).

See ya!