Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Play EvE Online responsibly.
Experienced agents are standing by.
We want to help you.
However, this is just a game.
Help is available.
I’d recommend Broadcast for Reps, but the last thing you need is ‘help’ from whiteknight carebear virtue signalers.
You are not a victim. You are an addict.
Seek help, in real life.
Listen to me very carefully.
Personal responsibility starts with YOU.
Empower yourself.
I recommend therapy.
Seriously.
Ya know?
I went a’whoring in nullsec.
I have more isk destroyed than entire alliances.
I do elite nullsec PvP.
Everybody was happy to see me.
I even offered bonus rounds.
Good times in EvE Online.
TRIGGER WARNING: MEAN WORDS
I always think, ya know, I got other things I’d rather do than play EvE Online, or write about it… but then I log in, and encounter the incredible stupidity of Idiocracy Online.
Previously, I discussed how incompetent antigankers continually fail, whilst roleplaying success. It’s never clear what they accomplished, but they sure as hell didn’t stop any gankers.
Recently, we spotted Highsec Plebtards camping Juunigashi with Stormbringers, desperately hoping to sperg lightning bolts in a windowlicking attempt to save a freighter.
The obvious solution was to warp into Uedama (with the dummydumdums following like Keystone Cops), as we then warped into Ikao, and back into Juunigashi to kill the target.
I could not conceal my contempt.
I honestly question the time I’ve invested in EvE, but at least I’m going down in history as the all time greatest. However, how does one justify investing even more time (years more than me), and yet failing to come close? It’s like, when you are slamming homeruns out of the stadium, how can you possibly have respect for a permapleb who is drunk on antifreeze and all-you-can-eat chilidogs?
Running a bunch of alts is bad enough, but imagine running a bunch of alts and failing to accomplish anything!
Apparently, some people refer to their alts as “we”.
The antiganker posed an interesting question…
I once heard of a turboautist, who wasted years following Jason, Joe/Bob, Aussie, brainlet, Benji, loyal/Trump, etc.
This goblok would always believe he saved a freighter, proudly proclaiming, “Freighter saaaaaaaaved.”
I simply cannot stand a stupid man.
However, did “we” save the freighter?
Apparently not!
Suddenly, the loser didn’t want to gloat.
Eventually, he showed the true nature of the whiteknight.
I believe him.
I’m cute!
Miners ask silly questions.
What do you think?
V3rbal also wanted his ship back.
He’s just a 2009 newbro.
With years of experience, he tried a little trick.
It’s the ol “gimme my ship back” scam.
We did our best to help him out.
It’s always a pleasure to help newbros.
Another happy customer.
I hope he enjoyed his space adventure.
Game Over.
Krig’s Korner IV has been eagerly anticipated.
When will it be released?
Without further ado, Ryan Reynolds presents…
*****
KRIG’S KORNER IV: ICE CREAM’S REVENGE
*****
Princess Aiko is so cool, she is the best, and pretty too. All day long I think about her, doodootdadoo, Aikoaikoaikoaiko. XDxdXD
My alt Lucy finally graduated from the Navy Academy, and was ready to begin an exciting EvE Online mining career. She carefully prepared her resume and applied to a guild that offered total independence. Maybe she could work from home?
After a rigorous 3 minute review, she was hired!
Lucy couldn’t wait to fly together, separately!
Corp chat was full of exciting conversation.
EVE System > Channel MOTD: We are joining an alliance, but don’t worry, this changes nothing!
Lucy Inthesky Withdiamonds > o/
Broadcast > o7
Lucy soon made a friend.
Wow, Xander is a real vet!
There he is!
Lucy was eager to help, independently.
However, Xander tried to awox the newbro!
Since they were friends (and allies), Lucy offered independent assistance, to save Xander from himself.
Xander began an independent propaganda campaign, intended to isolate Lucy from the rest of the corporation.
The other miners gradually woke up, alone.
Oh no, it was too late…
An independent commission investigated..
Unfortunately, the miners were not feminists.
Lucy demanded full reimbursement.
The miners were clever, and quick too!
Enough is enough!
Maen Mabata wanted to send money, in real life.
Real life miners, need real life permits.
What a know it all!
Lucy just wanted to fly together, separately.
The miners began smoking crack cocaine, independently.
Silly miners!
I’m glad they weren’t mad.
Unfortunately, they no longer wanted to be together, in isolation.
I guess Lucy needs a new alliance.
At least she got a medal.
Even CCP gave Lucy an award.
Nice!
The once mighty CODE. alliance had terminal autism.
Literally, autism.
NOL Director Super Perforator was unwell.
Super declared war on Aiko!
He roleplayed “victory”.
Victorious gankers should stop ganking. Right?
Super Perfie had no time for gankers.
Perfie preferred antigankers.
However, a princess cannot abide antigankers…
So Super Perforator ban/muted all the gankers.
Perfie was seduced by antiganker “agent” Knowledgeminer
Fortunately, Aiko has powerful friends in Highsec.
Knowledgeminer was arrested!
However, Super Perforator continued to harbor antigankers.
Meanwhile, Perfie autistically denied the death of James 315.
Inevitably, The Conference Elite denounced New Order Logistics.
Everyone said NOL is trash.
So TCE decided to form a new alliance, without NOL.
Stay tuned for a brief history of the CODE. alliance.
To be continued…
Bee well.
I love helping Highsec miners.
I also help lowsec bears.
Kuben craved attention.
However, he had no time for poors.
Kuben wanted the boss b.
So he went to the source.
We were amazed.
Kuben is a real money man.
PLOT TWIST: Kuben is also a secret agent!
He’s watching me!
Kuben infiltrated deep inside.
I’m surrounded by traitors!
Kuben knows what I did.
The truth is out.
DOPPLE TWIST: I actually am a secret agent.
I will cut a b.
I done did it.
I have so many names.
You can’t stop any of me.
We are already closer than you realize.
It’s way too late.
In EvE Online, only one name matters.
That’s right!
Everybody knows it.
You love it.
Cheers!
Archer Sterling 2nd > Your ganking doesn’t concern me
Archer Sterling 2nd > Your permit can go strait up your …
Fate and Destiny > Calm Down Miner
Archer Sterling 2nd > you can come back and kill my ship every day…I wont pay a cent
Archer Sterling 2nd > Hahahahahahahha…
Archer Sterling 2nd > Hahahahaha
Archer Sterling 2nd > hahahahaha
Archer Sterling 2nd > If I pay, you win…if I don’t…you have to take more isk from me than I make.
Zopiclone > You sound pretty defeated
Archer Sterling 2nd > i’ll be honest with you…I’m banking some isk before I get back into null
Fate and Destiny > Cool story
Ringdingdingalingading
What’s that sound?
It’s Gankmas!
Dingdingdinalingaringding.
Lingaringadingadingding.
