Are You Stupid?

I’m the greatest ganker in the game.

Some people call it piracy.

I think it’s just euthanasia.

Fools don’t take me seriously.

Those people are losers.

Look, I simply can’t respect a coward.

Meanwhile, I’m good at what I do.

I can be a real problem for you.

An annoying hassle, one might say.

You won’t like that side of me.

Apologies in advance.

Welcome to AikoTown

Listening to: Billions

ArchyZavr is NOT a fool.

He’s just a guy, who enjoys losing.

I know how to please a man.

Some people call this witchcraft.

Others might call it seduction.

I remember what he said.

Oh, boy gonna find out.

It was time for Archy to put an Azbel in Uedama.

Step one: Undock and flying to Uedama.

Have you ever known me to do a trick?

This is the art of politics, by other means.

Now I can finally create AikoTown.

I love a little drama.

Just a typical day in EvE Online.

You are welcome Archy (again).

I lost decades of friendship.

I’m the coolest.

Thanks.

=BONUS CONTENT=

Archy sent a song, to show his feels.

==DDOOUUBBLLLEE BONUS==

Cat Sky got ganked (again).

Then he tried faction warfare.

What a guy!

ArchyZavr, Not a Fool

ArchyZavr > fly safe

Rizko spotted him in the morning.

ArchyZavr > Nurds, try it if u can

He had ten thousand PLEX.

Rikzo > ArchyZavr has been here all day trying to get ganked -_-
samy my hero > you just ganna flip it into plex hanger
ArchyZavr > Everyone tells me that you can destroy any ship.Just know that there is a ship in the game that you cannot handle.Until next day 11:PM, I will hang in the gate near Juunigaishi.You can laugh it off as much as you like, but the fact remains that you are not omnipotent.

Nobody wanted the bait.

ArchyZavr > Hahahah. Safety SUCKs
ArchyZavr > ahaha. Noobs
ArchyZavr > I am Immortal Archy,And i never die
ArchyZavr > And safety sucks

Twelve hours later, Archy was still baiting.

ArchyZavr > my ship never die and Safety can’t do anything
ArchyZavr > this ship is too much for safety. I understand.
Razors Vankillsing > have fun then
ArchyZavr > yea, have fun, because safety sucks
ArchyZavr > my ship never die
ArchyZavr > I insulted safety. Will you miss it?)

Are we an good organization or no?

I love new players.

Could I destroy newbro Archy?

Aiko Danuja > I’m doing well if miners openly debate whether or not I am truly ominpotent.
ArchyZavr > )
ArchyZavr > I have already realized that safety will never attack me. Because my ship is invincible. I have never committed suicide or. And if they had committed suicide, there would have been no resentment.
Aiko Danuja > dont do that archy
ArchyZavr > Aiko Danuja I’m not trying anymore.
Aiko Danuja > so you are a weakling
ArchyZavr > OK, let’s do it again: I’m in the Sarekuwa gate to Halaima
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr send me 1 billion isk


I’m really good at this game.

Okada Aivoras > Aiko Danuja always has the best ideas
ArchyZavr > If you give your word that you will try to kill the ship, I will give you 1 B, then, if successful, 10 b.If the attempt fails on first try : you will give me 10 b. All the witnesses.p.s. Yes, you can dump me as soon as I transfer 1 billion. But this will only prove my words about weakness safety
Aiko Danuja > very well, i give my word
ArchyZavr > Take 1B. Even if you cheat, I will not regret it – it will give me a lot of joy to know that safety does not keep their word.

Challenge accepted.

Rafa Quinterro > ArchyZavr ill have a crack at that ship
ArchyZavr > Rafa Quinterro on momentos
Jinx Beirut > its a scam, he wont pay after
Rafa Quinterro > you can put the 10bil collateral to Freighty Boi
ArchyZavr > I can’t transfer 10 billion to him because I don’t know him)
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr you can trust me
ArchyZavr > I do not u 😀
Aiko Danuja > if you cant trust me, then Freighty Boi is a neutral third party
Rafa Quinterro > bro
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr if u want to get this done, let’s go
Rafa Quinterro > put the collateral up
Jinx Beirut > its a classic EvE duel
ArchyZavr > Oh, what a fuss I’ll make on the forums if it’s a hoax)

This is how we play EvE Online.

Okada Aivoras > people pay to be ganked now, things are going the right way
Freighty Boi > that is acceptable
Jinx Beirut > this is gonna be a great fight

…but could we actually gank him?

Was it all a trick?

Archy decided to wait at the sun.

He was a bling pinata.

Archy was a changed man.

Thanks for the free isk, bro.

Now he wanted his protection modules back.

I’m happy to help.

We did him a real favour.

Cheerzah brav!


Makhzen Darmazaf

Hey there.

Makhzen looks a lot like me.

What a cutie!

Unfortunately, she died.

So we had a chat.

We each learned a lot about each other.

At first, she wanted revenge.

Next, she cried.

Awwwww(((

Would Makhzi quit the game? snif..

She showed everyone her pitiful lossmail.

Perhaps someone would buy her a new one?

No problem, friendo!

I love to help.

Another happy ending!

Meet a Miner

Today, we decided not to grief any miners.

Let’s just meet them instead.

cataclysm jane is one of PanFam’s mighty miners.

Cool lifestyle.

This miner explained the technical lingo.

0.0 is for 0.0s.

WoW!

Let’s meet an antiganker.

Double WoW!

Hey, don’t kill yourself in EvE Online.

I’ll do it for you.

I like to play.

Miners are real dumb.

What a ‘waste’.

That’s right.

Indeed.

Absolute Failures, Part II

Listening to: Dental Plan

Absolute Failures, Part 1

The Second Battle of Torrinos began with a bang.

Envoy Arby > WISH I HAD BACKUP
Aiko Danuja > are u asking me to come to torrinos?
Envoy Arby > YA
Envoy Arby > THEY ARE NAZIS
Envoy Arby > THEY LOVE HITLER
Aiko Danuja > Kill: RossRed (Mackinaw)
Envoy Arby > hahaha
Envoy Arby > U KILLED THAT NAZI
Aiko Danuja > BACK TO BERLIN
Envoy Arby > TAK TAK DOBRE

Triple Commissar Centurion RossRed exploded.

It was a surprise inspection.

Absolute Trash alliance declared a State of Griefing.

Lieutenant Comrade Ihamori Isu was still alive.

He contacted random people to chat.

Ok buddy, sounds great!

The defense fleet was led by Lt.Cmsr valfurian saraki.

He is a Toltec paladin for TRUMP, and an experienced failganker.

Well, you can’t win every fight.

[ 2024.09.15 17:59:19 ] Thaicylias > that was fun

The fleet was dying.

Bystanders were amazed, as bot Mackinaws kept mining.

Even invincible Ihamori died.

Advo was uncloaked, and tryhard Kinhard lost a second Ferox.

It was an absolute disaster.

ABSOD discord was abuzz with confusion (and bemused spies).

It was not a good fight.

Triple Commissar Centurion Striknor was frustrated.

Meanwhile, valfurian joined a new fleet.

It was a veldspar fleet in Ibura, adjacent to Torrinos.

valfurian was happy to find a chill fleet in Lonetrek.

Of course, he’d never met April before.

Nevertheless, valfurian vowed revenge.

However, something went awry…

Uh oh!

Those darn gaunkers jumped the gate!

Teamwork makes the Dreamwork.

I tried to help him.

He was too busy.

valfurian failed again.

valfurian will never be safe.

He will never ever ride that Happy Hooker again.

Sad!

Another win for Team Aiko.

Congratulations all around.

=THE END=

Absolute Failures

The First Battle of Torrinos

The Second Battle of Torrinos began in Uchomida.

A Klingon yellowboxed us without provocation.

Things went too far.

Whups.

What an absolute failure.

Just wait until tomorrow.

Oh, it’s gonna go very well.

The target moved to Torrinos.

Wow, just wow.

To be continued…