Re: FW: About Krig Povelli

Even the little guys enjoy EvE Online.

The alliance description is self-explanatory.

However, God hates miners.

In fact, nobody likes miners.

It all started in Botane.

Krig Povelli > Wow! That is one really fast procurer!

Graeth was AFK and didn’t mine.

He advised other miners to take a nap.

LadyBug had enough.

Graeth Raltharn > its just an empty life

She began talking about Krig’s penis.

Later, LadyBug regretted what she said.

Bro, I get a lot of EvEmail (no, I can’t read it all).

LadyBug told the story several times.

PLOT TWIST: Krig Povelli strikes again!

Uh oh!

We don’t allow penis jokes in Highsec.

Fortunately, I was there to help.

Another successful intervention.

Krig even got a killmail!

Where’d the Orca go?

Word started to spread in local.

Anoher happy ending.

I hope LadyBug does better next time.

LadyBug had more to say.

What a chatty Cathy.

Oh my God…

Occasionally, I respond.

I’m the voice of reason.

LadyBug learned a real life lesson.

She just had a few more things to say.

The conversation became colorful.

At some point, LadyBug began writing herself.

I got all the facts.

I’ve completed my investigation.

Krig Povelli has a license to bump.

To be honest, we both hate miners.

December Madness

Listening to: Goodbye Venture

Hey there Venture enthusiasts.

It’s been a lot of fun!

We now conclude the December Doubles.

Each Venture in December was worth two (2) points.

One individual really doubled up!

DECEMBER SCORE

Wow, that’s amazing.

Who was the fattest Venture?

Wtf.

=BONUS ROUND=

Stay tuned! Next month is SUDDEN DEATH January. This is the perfect time to make a New Year’s ganking resolution.

PS: Send CASTOLE a few billion isk. He’s earned it.

Yria is Syria, Part 2

Yria is Syria, Part 1

Silent Company had a lot to say.

So I sent bumpers after them.

Eons ago, James 315 was a bumper.

One bump can change the course of a fleet.

It took John E McCain, just four days to subdue Greater Ottawasa.

Local went empty.

On Day 5, Phoebe Beeblebrox tried to break the blockade.

Georgia B Dixie (aka John E Normus) was on the case.

The illegal miners were escorted away.

An empty belt is a compliant belt.

To maintain tranquility, Georgia would cloak after each bump.

Spooky!

To be continued…

Slow Boil

I’m a real Highsec escort.

That’s right.

Recently, miner Nigel ran into trouble.

He’s just a 2015 newbro.

So I agreed to assist.

I love to help the little guys.

Apparently, the mining pacifists lost a control tower?

No money? No problem!

Just send me your stuff.

It was his idea!

I’m glad we came to an agreement.

Cheerzah brav!

He just needs to pay.

That’s right.

There was just one problem.

I’ve done this before.

It works well.

I call it the 30 40 70 rule.

It works like a charm.

Later that day…

I change people’s lives!

There’s a life lesson here.

=FOLLOW UP=

SRP Claim #513-PA

Aiden Vail is a mining man.

Unfortunately, he fell behind on rent.

Consequently, he needs a new ship.

Fortunately, it was Black Friday!

He was a real ice aspirant.

Cool story bro!

Another 2007 newbro.

I naturally established an empathetic rapport.

This is a useful ability.

“The target must succeed on a DC 17 Wisdom saving throw or be charmed. The charmed target regards the vampire as a trusted friend, and is a willing target.”

“Harlots can be both brazen strumpets and haughty courtesans. In addition to the usual fare, the harlot is 15% likely to make something up, and 20% likely to be a thief.

Trust is the basis of every relationship.

Another satisfied customer.

I’m such a good soul.

That’s right.

PRO TIP: Jita has several unique stations!

Somehow, he discovered the blog.

I love to help.

He’s trying to scam me!

I’ve been here before.

It’s just basic math.

Vail asked his new friend for advice.

That’s right.

I explained everything.

That’s the best minigame in EvE Online.

Sad ending…

Life is full of new experiences.

Cheerzah!

Venture Standings – NOVEMBER

It’s that time of year.

We are here to help.

Without further ado, the November rankings…

As we head into December, CASTOLE generously motivates the other contestants, by adding an additional 25 billion isk to the PRIZE FUND. Wow, thank you CASTOLE! Remember, December is the month of kill doubling, so earn your BONUS points fast with that holiday spirit! It’s not too late to bounce back to the highest levels imaginable. This is your chance to become a TOP TIER elite Venture destroyer! Of course, if you can’t gank a Venture yourself, feel free to send isk to those who can!!

That’s right!

That’s right!

How to Sell a Mining Permit #423

First, chat with a miner.

I like to be direct.

He didn’t take the hint.

Mine around and find out!

PLOT TWIST: That’s just my alt.

So the miner contacted a supervisor…

“No miner can be lawfully ganked unless they are given a full advance warning, with a 60 second truce allowing them to dock up safely.”

No warning, in my Halaima?

He was informed, but ok…

I keep my Highsec safe.

I value my friends.

I love to help.

This is a good racket.

What a great space job.

That’s right.

Read all about it!

That’s right…

Everything according to plan.

Just another day in EvE Online.

Amazing content.

My ‘friend’ never corrected me.

In fact, the little parrot was scamming me.

Everyone loves a free SRP.

They apparently see it coming.

I play the game my way.

This is not my first time.

It adds up.

It works!

=BONUS ROUND=

I almost forgot.

Nobody likes a delinquent miner.

A few moments later…

Another satisfied customer.

=POSTSCRIPT=

Eventually, Andreska bought a new ship…

It never reached the ice.

xD

=THE END=

In the CODE.

Next, they go to Why Was I Ganked?

True story.

Then they get bonus offers.

Another satisfied repeat customer.

He also ordered a new Bowhead.

Of course, there is a delivery fee.

That’s right.

What a happy miner.

Everything was perfectly routine.

He sent me and my alts a bunch of isk.

He even bought a mining stamp.

There’s a process?

What a plan.

Didn’t he already pay?

I’ve done it quite a few times.

PLOT TWIST: There is no file.

DOUBLE PLOT TWIST: No database either.

Jamie is just a working alt.

Nobody likes a space lawyer.

Another delinquent miner.

Eventually, he found me again.

I guess we can resolve this.

Sometimes, they try to negotiate.

I’m happy to explain.

Pleasure doing business…

Jormags wound up mumbling to himself in Jita.

Thanks for playing.