CCP – Page 17 – ‎James 315 Space

ok fine

The CSM is committed to doubling miner EHP.

Legal Disclaimer: The preceding statement is intended as a work of fictional satire, and bears no relationship to actual EVE Online power dynamics, real or imagined.

I don’t believe CCP wants this, but the CSM is demanding it.

Legal Disclaimer: The preceding statement is intended as a work of fictional satire, and bears no relationship to actual EVE Online power dynamics, real or imagined.

After the miner’s tantrum in Jita, they are buffing EHP and yield.

I hope miners enjoy grinding for paltry amounts of isk.

I’m actually doing really well.

I might just quit ganking altogether.

It will be mathematically impossible to sologank an exhumer.

It already requires overwhelming force, and now I need double overwhelming force?

Unfortunately, miners are salty little bitches, in real life.

I might start grieving them.

If you kill a double EHP miner, it’s gonna cry.

It’s gonna get salty.

I’m beyond annoyed with these carebears.

It’s time to try something new.

I’m gonna get twice as bad.

I’m gonna be an elite griefer.

I want to make miners cry, in real-life.

You can thank the CSM.

Oh well

I’ve been hoping this isn’t true, but perhaps it’s time to accept reality. Apparently, CCP intends to double the EHP of barges and exhumers.

I’ve tried to be optimistic, but I also need to be honest. This is not good. It will encourage AFK mining, and ganking will become financially prohibitive.

Solo gankers will struggle if EHP is doubled. In order to gank a Retriever, they will need to use a battlecruiser. In order to gank a Mackinaw, they will need a dreadnought! I wouldn’t blame them if they quit, because it’s not reasonable to expect someone to use a Naga or a Talos to kill a barge.

In order to kill this Mackinaw, I had to use 4 ships. After EHP is doubled, I would need 8 ships. Either that, or I would have to use battlecruisers. This is just not financially sustainable, considering the Mackinaw only dropped 6 million isk in ‘loot’. I would not blame myself, if I quit ganking miners after EHP is doubled.

James 315 declared victory, but if CCP decides to double barge EHP, then we can only consider this to be a defeat. Highsec is worth fighting for, but I’m not going to drop battlecruisers on barges. That’s just asinine.

Some people have tried to cheer me up, reminding me that CCP has buffed mining before, and ganking survived (barely). However, this comes atop all previous changes. As the most active ganker in the game, I know there isn’t much incentive to gank, and there are few gankers left. If barge EHP is doubled, there won’t be much interest in ganking. Most miner gankers will quit, and I might be the only one left.

What will I do, if they double the EHP of barges? Certainly, I’m not going to waste my time and energy trying to fix CCP’s mistake. Let the miners all go AFK, and watch as the price of Veldspar plummets. The bots will proliferate, in tanky little Covetors and invulnerable Mackinaws. What can I do about it?

Maybe it’s time for me to leave Highsec.

I might even enjoy it!

Miner Madness

I don’t pay much attention to miners.

However, the latest patch has triggered a wave of mewling.

I’m not sure what the fuss is about.

CCP has set an irrational precedent, allowing crybabies in Jita the delusion that anybody cares about them. Pro tip: nobody cares.

I spoke with an unironic Highsec miner.

What’s wrong miner?

Is this the end of AFK mining?

Will miners adapt to economic realities?

Two things are for certain.

Mining is boring, and miners are poors.

There’s no shame in quitting.

Miners need to focus on the big picture.

This is good news.

Boris Goes Bananas, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 Space… Boris lost another Retriever.

:TRIGGER WARNING:
EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT (AND RACISM) IN EVE ONLINE

Aveve needs to learn how to take clear screenshots.

Doesn’t that look better?

Regardless, this is good stuff.

In EvE Online, Boris roleplays as a Christian miner.

He is persecuted, by homosexual terrorists.

Someday, if he can afford a boat, he will fight the dog fuckers.

I don’t want Boris to get banned. I find this entertaining!

Boris, you crazy Russian!

To be continued…

Nope

Yesterday, we stared into the abyss.

Was this the end of the galaxy?

Novus Ordo antigankers tried to report gankers for pulling, but the EVE community came together and defended our Highsec traditions.

All is well!

We celebrated by exploit dunking in Uedama.

Here’s a video!

In other news, an Orca had a Safety incident.

Safety inspectors are investigating.

Let’s examine the SRP request.

Ah, I found the problem…

You were trying to run your own business.

Safety first, always!

Is pulling CONCORD an exploit?

Multiple independent sources are confirming that CCP has been warning and/or banning people for “pulling” CONCORD. There has been speculation that this was “abnormal” pulling, and not the normal activity practiced routinely by gankers and antigankers for more than a decade. However, my sources have become increasingly clear that CCP is targeting gankers for routine pulling.

For example, the Novus Ordo antigankbears have been antiganking by pulling CONCORD into ice belts, to protect their Russian mining clients. Now it appears that gankers who counterpull are being warned for “delaying” CONCORD by drawing CONCORD out of the belt (because Novus Ordo is reporting them).

It is true, that pulling affects response times, but for more than a decade this has been normal gameplay. It was specifically allowed.

Are gankers no longer allowed to pull? Perhaps so, but if that is the case, there are going to be some significant changes.

I don’t know what to say.

I’ll just wait to see if CCP replies to my ticket.

Maybe everything is fine?

Fortunately, GM IceCream states it is ok to manipulate CONCORD to decrease (rather than increase) response times. Instead of pulling CONCORD away from the gate (to make it easier to gank on the gate), just pull CONCORD to the station (in order to make it harder to gank on the station). Problem solved!

Indeed, IceCream claims it is ok to spawn CONCORD in specific situations (provided that you do not intentionally reduce CONCORD response times), but as Jason notes, there is no possible scenario in which you can spawn CONCORD without simultaneously reducing response time elsewhere.

Chillno

Chillso Ace isn’t very chill.

He explained why.

He doesn’t have to be.

Instead, Chillso can curse mat Otsito (and his family).

First, they will get cancer, and then the government death panel.

As Chillso explained, mat is a mass murdering psychopath in real-life. Therefore, it is only just and fair that mat’s entire family be stricken with cancer (before their public execution). As a man, mat must accept Chillso’s judgment.

The next day, Chillso made a simple proposition.

If mat kills himself, that would make it easier to mine.

Many years ago, the Mittani joked about suicide, and this is often cited as evidence of the Mittani’s depraved mind. Consequently, when the Mittani heard about Chillso, he asked mat to give the miner a second chance.

Meanwhile, Chillso reached out to local miners, including two imperial informants. As it turns out, Chillso is conducting a coordinated psyops campaign intended to convince mat to kill himself (in real life).

Chillso is allowed to do this. Right?

It’s just a game.

Meanwhile, Krig Povelli was warned by CCP, because he is Muslim.

I’m glad CCP has sensible policies, which are fairly enforced.

Indeed, Krig has been cursed for fifty years.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #236

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #235

Miners are always looking for a good deal.

They sure got a lot to say.

What is wrong with them?

Evan got banned for calling someone a shit beta, and implying they eat fuck rice. That’s pretty salty, not gonna lie, but why does CCP intervene? The salt is amusing, not offensive, and nobody should get banned for making us laugh.

We don’t play EVE for the terrible UI, glitchy mechanics, uninspiring graphics, or tedious grinding. We only log in for the engaging drama.

Only loosers and lossers report salt to CCP.

I didn’t vote for Trump (or Hillary), and I would have voted to impeach, but I don’t want to purge all the politically incorrect players. Let’s not cater to hypersensitive snowflakes, who seek to water this game down.

I enjoy a little “locker room” talk.

I love the passion.

I’ve got no issue with rice eaters, I’m one too. In fact, Evan is half Japanese, so it’s racist to call him racist for calling you a rice eater. Someone in London (or Iceland) banned an Asian, claiming he was racist against Asians – that’s reverse racism.

This is an international game, so let’s embrace xenophobia.

Maybe, if miners can work out their anger-management issues in EVE Online, then they won’t beat their wife in real-life.

A New Logo, for a New Era

Every few years, the Imperium evaluates the efficacy of Highsec ganking. Fortunately, we passed our audit, and The Mittani has once again acknowledged the People’s Democratic Republic of Highsec. Consequently, the ice interdiction will continue, until further notice. Meanwhile, in honour of our continued status as an independent sovereign state, I have graciously allowed CCP to use my personal seal.

I’m sure James would have loved it.

This design was produced by Zaenis Desef, and is reminiscent of similar designs by Blake McAllister and Sargon of Amerish.

Sargon’s version, some felt, was a little too good.

Blake’s idea was really the same basic concept. Zaenis and I looked at this, and discussed how we might improve it. Credit where it’s due, I never would have come up with the idea of putting myself on the alliance logo. Such hubris and vanity is far beyond me. I was perfectly happy to have James enshrined forever, in a hideous shade of orange. However, some people think it’s high time to shatter the glass ceiling, and put a woman atop our keepstar. Well, I can’t disagree, I should have called the alliance AIKO. However, I gotta say, Safety. will look pretty good on the nullsec map.

There were a number of suggestions, some that just didn’t quite match CCP’s formatting requirements. Gurt Benoit, for example, had a great idea. It was just a little ahead of it’s time. Once CCP fixes Walking in Stations, we will surely be able to permanently trap miners inside decorative bubbles.

I liked the message here, but it’s too wordy.

Dolphin Don wanted a sea theme, but it was too sexual.

Don felt we could use the logo to educate, about the dangers of mining, but we were concerned this might trigger recovering miners to relapse.

Tweeps wanted more of an early 1990s broadcast television theme, but personally I prefer pictures of myself. Can you blame me?

Before he was banned, Zuzzik portrayed me as a crystalline entity.

I thought the triangle S thing was cool (who made that?).

Globby suggested using the criminal timer.

Some submissions were good, but they weren’t the right size.

Ultimately, there were a lot of fine submissions.

Alt 00 had an interesting idea, which we could have developed further. However, Zaenis was the first to produce something with sparkly stars. Oh, how cute! 100% of the voters immediately selected his design. Subsequently, in their infinite wisdom, CCP decided to attack my fair visage with an eraser.

Why?

At first, I thought CCP was sending a warning. They didn’t do this to anyone else. No other logo has been so ravaged.

Why am I singled out for defacement, covered in dirty grime and scratches? Well, I know the reason. More than any alliance, we represent the gritty reality of New Eden. CCP has chosen us to represent their vision. Miners will never live to see the freshly painted logo. All carebears will ever see is how it looks later, when the greedy salvager scoops scrap metal into his hull, wondering who killed his friends… and why? So that’s fine CCP, if you want to scuff up my face, I’m gonna scuff up your crabs.

Regardless, people seem happy with it, not that they have a choice.

If you think it’s so amazing, join my alliance.

Together, we can save the miners!

Fw: Re: Demands

Previously, on !MinerBumping… we learned about the camwhores of Uedama, and discovered that Princess Aiko is bad at micromanaging you (unlike James 315, a big strong leader). There was EPIC Danuja salt, after she learned people who don’t log in are unhappy with her inactivity, and this metastorm is expected to last indefinitely.

When Aiko discovered the presence of rival camwhores, she did the one thing that is guaranteed to accomplish absolutely nothing. She reported the bots to CCP, along with screenshots and an evidentiary video.

After a few minutes, CCP concluded a full investigation, determining that humanoid player beings are content to spend all day staring at a Taint Licker (whilst steadily slowly scrolling up and down in local chat).

CCP sent Aiko a dismissive reply, closing the case. As they presumably decided, the real ‘content’ of the stream was Taint Licker himself, and surely the Uedama gatecam was not actually intended to show viewers the gate.