Toxic IceCream

As you already know, I am EVE’s greatest historian.

Recently, GM Senior GM IceCream accused gankers of “griefing” and “harassment”. This is the same GM who teleported his titan, to avoid a lossmail. A lot of people felt this was cheating, and it was. This is also the same GM who banned Cliff Ozuwara, wrongly asserting that pulling CONCORD is an exploit. Cliff was subsequently unbanned, but this rogue GM is still out there, trying to redefine the rules.

James 315 knew my pain. I honestly don’t know if I’m allowed to post, clip, annotate, discuss, screenshot, highlight, or paraphrase GM statements. I’ve heard multiple interpretations of the rules, all with their own supporting citations. Unfortunately, CCP is notoriously unwilling to provide clear communication.

Krig has authorized me to share his response.

Click below to expand the screenshot.

Believe it or not, but Safety. is not the only ganker guild. Another group, one I’ve never heard of, ganked a streamer without any involvement from us. Subsequently, IceCream conducted a thorough investigation, and has threatened to permanently ban “without appeal” numerous gankers (including myself). Let me be clear, I had no involvement with this gank. IceCream has even acknowledged that I was not involved. However, he is still threatening to ban me, because my “cohort” is guilty.

I conducted my own investigation. Olanlee Andrews made numerous IRL death threats, including “go light yourselves on fire, and blow your brains out” and “you deserve one in the head.” This miner stated that he understands why spree shooters kill people, and blamed gankers for triggering IRL mass shootings. I find this narrative credible, because miners frequently make such comments.

IceCream feels gankers are responsible for toxic behavior. When a ganker kills a miner, it’s apparently understandable that a miner would make IRL death threats. IceCream believes gankers should be banned, so that miners don’t have these “emotional” thoughts. IceCream stated this is not open to debate, and he will not discuss it.

IceCream is also aware that Kalvaen Voidwalker (aka Lulu) pretended to commit suicide. He knows about this, because Kalvaen is actually my alibi. At the very moment Olanlee was ganked, I was reporting Kalvaen to CCP.

Kalvaen didn’t just threaten suicide. He pretended to actually commit suicide. However, IceCream feels I had no “ingame incentive” to gank for ORE strip miners, since it’s not profitable. The only logical explanation is that I am a griefer, and I left Kalvaen with “no resort” other than fake suicide. Yes, IceCream tried to justify Kalvaen’s behaviour, and blamed me for “griefing” the Mackinaw.

When miners get upset and freak out, because they are bad at a videogame, they know that GM Icecream will always blame us. It is our fault they are having a temper tantrum. In fact, we even told them to “calm down”.

Years ago, when James 315 was bumping about, he was threatened with a ban unless he justified his activity with “miner permit roleplay”. Nowadays, we are told this does not justify ganking, but it does justify violent IRL threats.

IceCream might ban all of us, but I am telling the truth.

The Highsec mining community is toxic.

CSM 2022

I’m not excited about the CSM, and I don’t have the impression that CCP listens to advice from the CSM. However, in theory, CCP might one day discuss something with the CSM, and perhaps consider their feedback.

You can vote here: https://community.eveonline.com/community/csm/vote/

I hope CSM candidates will listen to me. Stop catering to carebears, miners, and crabs. Focus on PvP, and you will retain players who are bored. EvE does not need safe places, new players do not need coddling, and Highsec needs more risk. Ultimately, I will be voting for the following CSM candidates, in the following order.

Arsia Elkin was my top choice last year. I know she is a traitor, betraying the people of Amarr to side with filthy barbarians. The Minmatari are lawless scum, not even fit to be slaves, and Arsia’s actions are a disgrace. Nevertheless, Arsia is a competent PvP pilot. I’ve watched her Twitch, and she’s the best candidate. That negative security status tells us that Arsia is a friend, and she recognizes a fact which eludes carebears. EvE is a PvP game, and PvP is not griefing. This is someone who is clearly intelligent, rational, and capable of objectivity. CCP has announced that they intend to focus on lowsec for the next few years, and it is important that we prioritize lowsec PvP candidates.

Trottel Elf is an absolute more on. I don’t think he will bring anything of value to the CSM, but he paid for my vote.

Torvald Uruz is another lowsec PvP pilot. His security status is a little too high, which confirms that he is a carebear, but I will still vote for him as I can tell he is dedicated to the improvement of lowsec.

Phantomite is a know-it-all turbo nerd, with a smug condescending attitude. I doubt he will ever get over himself, but he’s not entirely stupid.

Honestly, I’ve come around to Team Brisc. I used to think he was a politician, but now I believe he is a politician. I no longer consider him personally responsible for CCP’s bad decisions, and I recognize his remarkable effort. More than any other candidate, Brisc engages in discussion, and I respect that even when we disagree. More importantly, Brisc has taken meaningful steps to lower his security status. I know Brisc is super salty about not being my top choice, but he’s no longer my bottom choice.

Pandoralica undocks and does something. Never invites me to fleet

Ithica Hawk is a nerd, in real life. Nerds love running for CSM.

Mark is our token wormhole candidate.

Angry talks too much, and I’m not convinced he knows what he is yapping about.

Cat ears, when? Winzen is a shameless gas huffer.

***

That’s it.

All other candidates have failed to pay my endorsement fee.

Fan Fest, Part 2

Previously, in Iceland, CCP faced tough questions.

One thing became clear, it is time for an Aiko statue.

This is an undeniable reality.

It’s what the galaxy needs.

Meanwhile, CCP Rattati defined “new player”.

Carebears believe in a regional skill gradient (from Highsec to nullsec). However, as Rattati stated, “You are not a new player, [just because you are] in Highsec.” According to CCP, players cease to be ‘new’ when they reach 30 days, or leave the New Player Experience. Highsec is not the tutorial, and it is not “griefing” to engage Naval Academy graduates.

Rattati noted that CCP wasted “considerable time and resources” investigating carebear allegations. While griefers do disrupt the tutorial, gankers don’t. CCP determined that gankers and griefers are two separate groups, and ganking is explicitly allowed. Isanamo is not a mining tutorial, nor is Uedama a hauling tutorial. These are elite PvP zones, and Rattati emphasized that ganking is “fair” gameplay.

COOL FACT: When we changed our alliance name, we ensured that autist crybots would get confused. If you still think James 315 is griefing miners, then you obviously aren’t paying attention. Fortunately, CCP is not siding with antigankers, and Rattati concluded (to thunderous applause), “Gankers, you’re SAFE.”

If antigankers care about noobs, why are they defending nullsec alts?

FAN FEST

We are having fun in rainy Iceland.

Zaenis Desef ensured everyone has a permit.

Meanwhile, CCP is bad at sales.

Google Spreadsheets is free?

CCP is gonna polish the asteroids (again), in a game with no-graphics.

Outerspace is truly beautiful, so savor the TiDi!

Anyways, I got some nice shoutouts on Twitch.

I’m a big deal in a video game, in real life!

The most memorable moment was when some guy said…

…my alliance has crowdfunded, awesome, alcoholics.

That’s right!

Finally, CCP made the BIG announcement.

Unholy Unpas

The New Order has heritage and history.

Of course, agents are always (get it?) excited to visit Holy Halaima, which James 315 settled in 2012. However, there are many noteworthy systems, such as Arvasaras (where James learned to bump) and Kino (where rebellion triggered eternal Triglavian damnation). Uedama and Isanamo were established as staunch bastions, whilst Agil is celebrated as the birthplace of Princess Aiko. More recently, other systems rose to prominence. For example, in Auviken, the mighty Safety. alliance first eclipsed the dottering CODE. alliance. Likewise, we behold UNHOLY UNPAS, a system infested by Ventures.

It was in Unpas, where we established ourselves as the #1 PvP Champions of ALLTIME. If Halaima is our Mecca, then Unpas is our Medina. It is in Unpas, where heroes such as Shekelstein Shakiel, BigNoseRabbi OyVeyShekels, and CALM DOWN MINERS share the GOOD NEWS with all minerdom. Meanwhile, in adjacent Uitra, false agents lead miners astray with terrible missions.

I remember my own humble beginnings, as a women’s studies major at Hedion University, in the system of Conoban. I was so scared and nervous, that first time I snuck out of the starter system, exploring the adjacent wasteland of Mora. I expected to die instantly, when I jumped the gate, but soon found myself utterly bored with the mundane realities of Highsec. Fortunately, students at Uitra have a more engaging experience. They even have a saying there, “Unpas, where Ventures go to die.”

CCP frowns at shooting newbros in Uitra, but there’s no rule against euthanizing them, once they leave the reservation. Ah, but here’s a question…

Does Venture hunting provide quality content?

Yes, yes, I think so.

Unpas is a sacred place.

Unpas is a SAFE space.

Rejoice, for in Unpas was the Order born anew.

Holiday Truce

As you know, there is a ceasefire.

The miners are rejoicing, amidst peace and prosperity.

What a wonderful Yuletide.

Everyone is getting that snowflake spirit.

Nadia Bulkalov visited my award-winning Why Was I Ganked? channel.

James 315 had Ripard Teg, and I’ve got Nadia.

It was fun to meet her, in person (in real-life).

What a total funster.

Ok, cya!

Live Update!

Banerf Gunkers!

Why won’t CCP do anything about ganking?

Crybabies got double EHP, and they already want “one more nerf”.

Have you tried modules, whilst visiting dangerous space?

Have you tried not autopiloting, with expanded cargo?

Every miner is an autistic retard, in real life.

I hope you uninstall and quit the internet forever, in real life.

You don’t even know how stupid you are.

Veltis is fine with ganking, but wants it to be nerfed (again).

Bill wants his nullbloc to have 100% safezone AFK grinding.

Bert thinks gankers live in a basement.

He doesn’t mind ganking, but gankers need more risk.

Likewise, mlwspace thinks ganking is good, but there’s way too much.

One solution is to instablap gankers, right?

blinkfann3 wants to buff gateguns.

Here’s the issue, blink… You are an autistic retard, in real life.

Just stop playing EvE, and try Farmville.

If you can’t figure out how to avoid gankers, you are a more on.

Yes, you reetastic autards.

Miners aren’t Captain Picard.

They are more like Arnold Rimmer.