Art – Page 5 – ‎James 315 Space

Kills of Last Week

Listening to:
Peaceful and Relaxing Gank Music

What day is it? Oh man, what a kerfluffle. What is a girl to do?

Calm down, I got this.

EARLY BONUS: If you read all the way to the bottom, sometimes you find a little something extra for the faithful. I better put it at the top, in case you have the ADHD. Check out this tight video by Zaenis Desef and watch twitch.tv/zaenisdesef

CODE. is FOREVER

That’s right, I can turn images into hyperlinks! Dayum, that’s the best EVE trailer ever, except for one I’ll link another day. Now here are some bears that got wrecked between August 23 @ 00:00 EVEtime and August 29 @ 23:59 EVEtime.

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Eyar02 was a good for nothing thief, but elite New Order agents brought him to justice. Back when I dunked Pranav Singh‘s orca, I just knew that he was gonna be inspired to start ganking. I guess that’s why they call me the Highsec Goddess. Pranav wanted Eyar dead, and accompanied my alts Aiko Danuja, Shilliam Watner, Minx Mattel, Shadow Fireball, Ariarno, Butter Button, and don’t forget Hide Yo Freighters!

Pranav knows what a big deal I am, and politely asked me to blog his own content. If you are into bubble blobs, I guess you might find this video interesting, but where is CONCORD? I don’t know, but Pranav has a great life story.

[ 2019.08.13 02:31:59 ]

AGBee 001 > !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 注意力惊慌失措的恐怖分子矿工：我们准备使用武力。 Highsec人民解放援助小组正在这里恢复 James 315的和谐。!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Attention deranged terrorist miners: we are prepared to use force. The Highsec People’s Liberation Army Assistance Group is here to restore James 315’s harmony.!!!!!! !!!!! !!!! !!! !!+
Aiko Danuja > This is your final warning!
Whadda Badasaz > GLORY TO THE OLD GUARD!
Aiko Danuja > Pranav Singh You have been convicted as a member of Strategic Exploration and Development Corp
Viktor Rahl > that’s what you get for acting the mickey
Aiko Danuja > Praise James \o/

You’re welcome!

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Khaleeci Ve traded away her dragons, and was promptly obliterated by Ernst Steinitz. How did he know she had ORE miners? The best part of the story is that she immediately biomassed. A lot of people have flagged this kill as an example of real money trading, and it certainly is. CCP thanks Khaleeci for her mining service.

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RosefinchS spent a lot of money on her Golem. I have no idea why it was so expensive, CCP must be scamming these miners. Fortunately, Alleil Pollard, Gallente Ambrye, Shadow Cyrilus, and MrDiao helped me take out the trash.

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Coreleon was operating with an EDENCOM fleet, in direct violation of the Halaima Halama. What was he thinking? When a New Order fleet warped in, composed of elite CODE. agents and their Triglavian Initiative allies, Coreleon panicked. He deliberately tried to repair our scout. That’s illegal in my Highsec! I guess CONCORD just doesn’t like these bot aspirant miners. When we noticed that Knowledgeminer was in the fleet, we came back and dunked him too.

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Knowledgeminer isn’t the only antiganking goofus to fail daily. His little dog Kippy Kipster uses the exact same fit as Knowledgeminer, and she dared to try and protect Isanamo’s 1 day old bot Ventures. Kippy vanished after her location was triangulated by the New Eden Institute of Applied Mathematics. I’ve heard a lot of insults leveled at our agents, but “dumb and uneducated” isn’t one of them. Most of us are tenured professors, and we like to gank during office hours. I have a meeting. Read Chapter 2.

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Trade Chee wanted to be a nullsec nomad, but got a reality check when he was wrecked by Charlotte Rackner, Yan Rackner, and Kimberly Rackner.

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Den Talidar thought we are afraid to leave Highsec, but he was dead wrong. Sometimes we like to relax and have a good time. Autumn Schereau was accompanied by Liam Shotson and Lynx Trild. Here’s a hint: stay cloaked.

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ronnie ballz is just another wierdo who replaced his brain with implants. They didn’t seem to help him much. I’d screenshot the implants, but trust me, they aren’t worth it. Ernst Steinitz didn’t even bother to scoop the frozen biomass.

The Best Revenge, Part 82

The Best Revenge, Part 1

Previously on James315.Space… Pandemic Horde was on the brink of utter annihilation, and the Imperium was preparing for war with a soon to be extinct TEST Alliance Please Ignore. However, with elections to the High Hall of Halaima in full swing, it was anyone’s game and Emperor Aiva Naali needed every isk to succeed.

Late fees were eating into the directorship campaign budget, but Agent Anvil, aka quantum, was determined to seize control over the Goonswarm Federation.

There was always just one problem. In order to contract PLEX, greedy CCP bureaucrats required quantum to pay a whopping 10’000 isk processing fee. Nobody asked quantum where he managed to obtain PLEX, but the Imperium needed as much as possible! There was only one solution, and this would require quantum to jump in his mining corvette and start digging. The fate of the galaxy hung in the balance! Unfortunately, quantum was distracted by endless requests for yet another encore, and he got caught by the rats!

Eventually, after quantum aka AsteveonWard OverGreer stopped being AFK, he was able to scrape together enough ore to send his next payment. The money whirled away to the Delve, where it was immediately sunk into yet another Keepstar. If you are looking for some hot tips on how to fit your own little mining corvette, check out this detailed guide by the EVE Onion’s very own Princess Aiko!

Subsequently, as quantum continued harvesting, he listened to elite commanders of the Goon navy, as they scrambled to win another critical battle. Everyone in EVE eventually settles into their career, specializing in one particular aspect of the game. For quantum, that niche is to be ensconced deep inside Halaima High Command.

It was riveting content, but even the best and the brightest make mistakes, and you can’t have an intergalactic omelette without breaking a few eggs.

If quantum could get into a Nyx, perhaps the tide of battle might turn?

It was time to destroy penifSMASH once and for all! Quantum was ready to rock, and this time the Imperium would not be taking prisoners!

To be continued…

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BONUS: Herzog Wolfhammer has drawn this portrait of Australian Excellence, aka Loyalanon, the #1 elite PvP alpha male! Crikey!

Rudokop Forever, Part 2

Previously on James315.Space… He was a Highsec miner by day, but at night he became Rudokop, the Soviet demonhunter.

When Adrian Vexier confiscated Rudokop’s mining drones, the Russian bear was determined to send Adrian into an eternal gulag.

Adrian offered a second opinion, suggesting that perhaps Rudokop’s highsec mining fetish was symptomatic of a deeper underlying cognitive deficiency. However, Rudokop doubled down upon threats of eternal damnation.

Rudokop was smiling in game, but in real life he wasn’t so thrilled.

On the unpaved streets of Krasnotankymagnetgrad, Rudokop’s real life main endured endless misery, watching as his native community was torn by strife. Last week, a motorist was torn asunder by an angry mob of unemployed miners, desperate to drink a litre of warm motor oil. In such a world, Rudokop’s solace was EVE Online, a relaxing universe where he could share the means of production with his alts and peacefully mine in solidarity. At least, until a demonic force was drawn to his mining drones.

Rudokop knew he could not defeat the demon through PvP, so he hoped to negotiate a victory, offering to pay 50 million isk for Adrian to die in real-life.

When Adrian refused to take the bait, declining the offer of free isk, Rudokop was forced to implement a tough love psyops campaign of hate mail.

To be continued…

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PRINCESS THOUGHTS: I’m the Saviourette, not merely of Highsec, but of the New Order itself. A couple people questioned this, and one of them is no longer with us, but everyone else agrees that I am the future. It’s simple, just look at how antigankers feel about me, and do the math. You are either closer to me, or them.

John E Normus was in comms last night, and the man is a true champion, who once flew with legends of yore. Before the mighty CODE. alliance even existed, your forefathers set forth in the footsteps of the Sheikh, guided only by their timeless lust for a Khanid princess. Yea, and Helicity did declare that Jihadswarm was the way, and the VCBees led them out of darkness and unto the light of Orcageddon. Many hulks thus died in vain, and yet we continue, thanks to the heroic effort of the pioneers.

John E Normus drops by from time to time, just to say hi, letting everyone know that he isn’t quite dead. Tweeps is always desperate in these moments, like an eager puppy greeting his master, but John stepped right past him and looked directly at me, “Princess Aiko, it’s good to see you.” The tone in his voice said it all, John knows exactly what I’m up to. He then declared unto the assembly, “Aiko is doing good work. Two months ago, this alliance was dead in the water. She has saved the CODE. She has saved you from yourself.” I guess that’s why they call me the Saviourette, right? That’s right.

When 315 begged me to return, I tried to explain that I couldn’t remember my old account login, and the Imperial Guards are content to slumber into oblivion. Was it truly necessary for me to come back and seize control of his newfangled upstart space regime? I had my own doubts, but agreed to give it a try, as miners provide precious content. I can’t say for sure whether I will save the alliance tomorrow, but I can say that I saved it yesterday, and I saved it today, and I’ll probably do it again.

Of course, I wouldn’t truly be the Saviourette of Highsec, if people weren’t painting artwork to celebrate my glorious reign. However, they are, and that’s just a fact. Check out this nice piece by Minerbitch. Lookin hot! The bears better pray James 315 isn’t dead, because otherwise they are stuck with me, and I’m not as messianic.

NOW HEAR THIS

How to Sell a Mining Permit, Part 4

How to Sell a Mining Permit, Part 1

Previously on James315.Space… Odbayar was delighted to learn that mining permits are just 30 million isk, and every purchase qualifies for instant doubling. He wanted to get rich quick, greedily applying for liberal handouts.

Whadda Badasaz was generous, offering to quadruple Odbayar’s isk. Even better, if Odbayar signed up today, he would qualify for an extra BONUS.

Agents of the New Order are always eager to help newbros, and began patiently explaining how to create an official business contract.

Odbayar began voluntarily transferring his assets.

Many EVE players would let Odbayar dwell in isolation, without content, but our CODE. agents encouraged Odbayar to develop his own story.

Odbayar was happy to finally be playing EVE.

Odbayar originally claimed that he only had one ship, but this was revealed to be a rotten lie. He was trying to scam our elite agents, pretending to have nothing left, and yet he always managed to pull one more item out of his hangar. As Sun Tzu famously wrote, “You can squeeze water from a rock, if you squeeze gently.”