Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Hey there.
Oh boy, it’s that time again.
Cool story bro.
Where’s the salt?
Now that’s why I play EvE Online.
That’s right.
Some people are plebs!
That’s right!
Um…
Uh…
That’s right!
How do I PLEX my accounts?
Cheerzah brav.
Always!
The gmae was ruined.
Mission Ready Mining had a recruiting problem.
Fly Fearless alliance was infested with tunnel snakes.
Executor Gai Heiyuu was at fault.
The buck stops at the top.
Suddenly, EvEmail…
“Without any warning whatsoever, an unsolicited EVE-mail arrived in the inbox of every single member of Mission Ready Mining. This was no ordinary EVE-mail. It was a corpmail. But this communication was special for another reason; it happened to contain a link to a minerbumping post about Mission Ready Mining. Curiously, it also includes a quote attributed to Tora Bushido, as well as references to the mysterious Assistance Group.
A shiver ran down the thing that MRMNG CEO Gai Heiyuu had been passing off as a spine. He had been fearing this day might come since the spring of 2017, when he ordered the emergency evacuation of Gelhan. *They* were back.”
Editor’s Note: Yes, I am quoting an illustrated narrative, published privately in a secret Discord.
Historian’s Note: This incident explains why members of a corporation are no longer allowed to mail everybody else in the corporation.
MRMNG went into full spai lockdown.
Friends turned on one another.
To be continued…
Silent Company had a lot to say.
So I sent bumpers after them.
Eons ago, James 315 was a bumper.
One bump can change the course of a fleet.
It took John E McCain, just four days to subdue Greater Ottawasa.
Local went empty.
On Day 5, Phoebe Beeblebrox tried to break the blockade.
Georgia B Dixie (aka John E Normus) was on the case.
The illegal miners were escorted away.
An empty belt is a compliant belt.
To maintain tranquility, Georgia would cloak after each bump.
Spooky!
To be continued…
Listening to: You Got Ganked
As part of his postgank art therapy, MarkeeDragon commissioned a song to commemorate his grief.
…and now, our feature presentation…
Hey there.
On Reddit, crabs conspire.
This carebear wants to expand Highsec.
How did the lowsec community respond?
Next up, another carebear loser.
Crybabies just want easy AFK isk.
Everybody hates Safety.
Garr gaunkers gunk.
Why can’t miners AFK in peace?
Think about the newbro Hulks!
Reeeeeee, why can’t new players boomervets get free easy isk?
Where did all the miners go??
I guess they all left… right?
Some people don’t even know what they are crying about!
Ganking should be theoretically allowed, but practically impossible.
Imagine a sandbox with walls and guardrails.
Let’s get rid of those evil meanies!
The tears never stop.
Yep, another 2004 returning crybaby.
Are there any new players at all?
Oh look, another 2008 returning crybaby.
Hey, check out the 2012 returning newbro!
Question: Is whining about ganking a nullsec recruitment tactic?
I’m sensing a consensus.
One guy had a whole story…
Is this whinefest a Snuffed Out advertisement?
Hey, a 2014 returning crybaby has a theory.
What do you think?
Cheerzah!
=FINAL WORDS=
<=BONUS SALT=>
=PvP PLAYER RESPONSE=
That’s right.
Hey there.
I’m a subject matter expert (SME).
Welcome to Part II of my FanFest Presentation.
Miners have been stalking gankers for years.
Sometimes, they just want to say hi.
Believe it or not, there are women in the galaxy.
I’m doing great, btw.
You just can’t win Incels Online.
Some people can’t decide if I’m a guy or a girl.
Bro…
In game or out of game.
Ain’t no man getting attention like this.
If I ‘win’ EvE, at least you’ll know why.
Regardless, boys only want one thing from me.
Whatever I am, they love it.
Honestly, some of them are just plain crazy.
He wants me to commit suicide, in real life.
Blocking him doesn’t work.
I’ve blocked him at least 100 times.
Ain’t I a woman?
(yes he drew that)
Here’s the same guy, a month later.
Same guy, twenty minutes later.
Three minutes later.
Another month later.
See what I mean?
Oh look, another antiganker.
These plebs are obsessed with me, in real life.
I deserve it – right?
Oh boy, it never stops.
The diagnosis is clear.
I’m gonna blog.
Some of this is funny.
Most of it is cringe.
Some of it is mental.
All of it is batshit crazy.
Oh man, I really missed out.
What???
Uh…
Anyways…
No!
To be continued…
Listening to: Fake Cop Gets Arrested
Antigankers are real plebs.
They’ve got nothing better to do.
Wee woo wee woo.
Wait, he’s extorting me?
See what I did there?
Miner Revenge wanted antiganker Lu’Ce to STFU.
So the antiganker suspected him of being me.
I’m not Aiko!
Even miners hate antigankers.
I do James work (he’s permanently AFK).
Every miner must drink Jamestown Koolaid.
Drink up.
Thank James for me.
In Osmon, Lu’Ce has found purpose.
She announces me.
I’ve made a lot of new friends!
Revenge is Mary’s alt?
Antigankers have it all figured out.
Stay tuned!
*Plot Twist*
Lu’Ce secretly conspires with gankers.
Nice!
Of course you do.
These days, it’s not just Highsec.
Some agents have been helping wormbears.
PI botter down!
Go HighSecGanker go!
Of course, Highsec remains our beloved home.
One miner (I forget who), drew me euthanizing them.
The mind of a miner is a terrible thing…
Listening to: Princess of Highsec
There’s a lot of Aiko art.
This next song is also pretty special.
Not bad! Thanks BooBoo TheFoo.
I have sorely neglected the art gallery.
There’s actually a lot more.
Everyone needs to make Aiko art.
Sometimes, I feel like a space celebrity.
Did you know, in the EvE forums, I’m the most upvoted person ever?
Nobody makes art for Hrothy.
Lookin good!
Even my alt, Buttercup Potemkin, has fan art.
Lookin great!
God, I’m so fucking hot tho.
My alliance dominates Uedama.
We don’t like miners.
They just need a little discipline.
Praise me, I don’t mind.
Do you?
I’ll allow it.
Even Dolphin Don drew some fan art.
Wtf is wrong with Don?
Take your meds my guy.
Oh look, it’s Viirilithizu Ward! What a loser.
It’s fair to say, some people like Aiko.
Me too!
I’m the best.
Feel free to submit, simp, or just kill everyone.
I am the divine embodiment of the living breathing CODE.
Kind of a big deal, I guess.
I’m sexy in game and in real life.
That’s right, that’s right!
I can’t even view all the Aiko art. Keep it coming!
Even Princess Aiko Hold My Hand corporation has art!
That’s amazing.
You deserve a slice of pizza.
Know what I mean?
Cheerzah!
Listening to: Hazards
Fly Fearless alliance should be afraid.
They are not mission ready.
They are barely able to compose a coherent sentence.
However, miners are still men of a sort.
You know how men are…
I’m mission ready sexy.
The Devil only wants one thing.
This sexy talk concerned my IRL boyfriend.
So naturally Devilishh was sent to miner’s prison.
Meanwhile, Tweeps decided it was time to have the talk.
Uh oh.
It is what it is.
To be continued…
That’s right.
