Pretty!

Alt 00 has painted another beautiful portrait.

As always, I’m looking good!

James observed, “When you’re a member of the New Order family, life in highsec is like a nonstop party–the most amazing, wonderful party you’ll ever experience.”

I’m a member in good standing, and I’m having a great time!

Believe it or not, we even have our own website.

Everybody seems to love me.

I’m doing well, by doing great!

I’m also into vore. That’s Japanese hentai about little tiny people who get eaten by beautiful women. Miners are gross, but I get hungry.

I digest all their little mining bits, converting them into neutron blasters and magnetic field stabilizers. That’s the circle of life.

Of course, some miners don’t want to be eaten. They try to squirm, kick and scream, but there is no way to avoid destiny.

I’m always right, and I always win.

I’m invincible.

That’s right!

Swell

Hello again, dear reader.

Antigankers are all worked up.

They don’t know what to do.

With enemies like this, no wonder I’m on top.

What a bunch of idiots.

Meanwhile, I’ve been helping Orcas.

I do well, by doing well.

Last week, I seized control of a Goon battlefleet.

Today, I seized control of a Fraternity battlefleet.

I control both fleets, on opposite sides of the war.

What do you think about that?

Some people are jelly.

I know what James really wants.

I’m here to save the miners.

That’s a euphemism for genocide (in-game).

So I don’t care who you praise.

These miners are in trouble.

Space lawyers won’t save them.

I’m the friend they need.

Some people say the CODE. is dead.

Actually, I’m invincible.

 

The Lawsuit

The tale of Lazar us is being ‘censored’.

Today, I received formal notification of a pending lawsuit.

I used magical spells, forcing Lazar to break his mother’s favourite glass.

I’m a real-life witch!

I’ve done a terrible thing.

So I met with Lazar’s space attorney.

At first, we did not reach an agreement.

Is it morally wrong to PvP in a PvP video game?

Justice in Gaming is sexist.

However, he eventually declared me the winner.

We agreed that Lazar owes one billion isk.

We also agreed that he is utterly incompetent.

I demand unconditional surrender.

Unfortunately, the space attorney went too far.

He committed a serious criminal offense.

I have no legal recourse left.

We must continue to fight against these space bully griefers.

They want to exterminate us.

They will never stop.

We must exterminate them.

Travels

I’ve been learning how to govern the galaxy.

I’m starting to get the hang of it.

Recently, I went on a tour of my extensive holdings in Piak.

Local miners immediately began to moan.

Afterward, I reviewed my vast holdings in Oipo.

Eventually, I encountered the village idiots.

They had some concerns about my playstyle.

They apparently think I’m a terrorist princess.

Why haven’t I been banned?

I think it’s because CCP likes me.

I’m pretty goshdarn awesome!

I’ll see you around!

Attentions

I have heard the rumours.

Some say that Princess Aiko is a Sani Sabik cultist, bathing in the blood of miners.

Does that sound like something I would do?

They claim she is in league with Gallente terrorists.

Following a hostile takeover, she seduced the Caldari State.

The Brutor hordes, it is said, proclaim her name as a divine omen.

I have even heard that the Triglavian Collective obeys her every whim.

I can neither confirm nor deny.

I can only observe the obvious facts.

The galaxy belongs to me, and you need my permission to exist.

Everybody loves me.

Everybody else is nobody at all.

There is a new litmus test.

Consequences will never be the same.

I’m just really good at what I do.

Trust me.

You know the law.

So please stay safe…

…and don’t fall asleep!

Aiko Danuja Penismuncher

Antigankers are the most toxic people in the game.

High Side is a typical ‘white knight’. If I acted like him, antigankers would cry foul, claiming the moral high ground. However, you can see for yourself. Gankers are classy cats, and antigankers are bitterbear losers.

High Side’s alt is KOCMO EHOT.

They are upset, because I ganked their antiganking Talos.

Naturally, incels are enraged by my mouth.

High Side is crushing on me, and wants to pull my ponytail.

Aiko Danuja sucks dick, very cheap.
She’s a whore like her mother,
and she loves when you piss in her mouth.

He’s not wrong. I love a good time!

SLUT
SUCKING PENIS

KOCMO High Side is a bad man, in real life…

… so I sent my regards.

You might not like me, but I’m kinda like a big deal, ya know?

I get paid to do what I love.

I’m a Princess!

High Side intends to continue with his ‘campaign’.

It is obvious who hasn’t been getting any blowjobs.

Like, real talk, I only date gankers.

Busy in Uedama

Today, we dunked freighters in Uedama, as antigankers spectated.

Most NPCs appear surprised when they enter.

They are perpetually confused.

Did they just jump into a warzone?

Some suspect multiboxing.

Our fleets are rather large.

Miners are so easy to please.

A few bears notice something amiss.

Something seems really wrong in Uedama.

There’s definitely something wrong with the antigank intel channel.

The antigankers just want us to leave.

Why would I attack my own rorquals?

Princess Aiko Hold My Hand

A lot of people are talking about Highsec’s hot new mining corporation.

Princess Aiko Hold My Hand is the place for A1 miners.

It’s one of my personal fan clubs.

There are several elite tiers.

All miners are invited!

My themed mining corps encourages submissive miners to orbit me.

Finally, miners can simp in style.

Just listen to these authentic testimonials!

I also train newbro gankers.

Literal hand holding.

You are personally invited to join me (in a wholly separate alliance).

Recently, antigankers have started ganking innocent newbro miners.

Antiganking fails again! Daily!

Baited on a free _____

Uedama Blues

Sometimes, we like to shoot one another.

We can afford it.

Lucy was autopiloting through Uedama.

When she returned to her computer, she was surprised to learn of a gank attempt.

Like most antigankers, zebra 407 felt unappreciated.

He claimed to be Lucy’s bumping saviour.

Lucy checked her logs, and concluded otherwise.

zebra is just a lowlife scammer.

WoW! Just WoW! Antiganking is failing SO hard right now! Daily!

I’m glad I don’t have to beg for isk.

That’d be super embarrassing.

 Laugh out Loud.

LoL @ Khromius, Part 3

Previously, in Aikotopia… Erbacher lost his mining Kikimora, and Khromius vowed a “scorched Earth campaign”, roleplaying as a tough guy wardeccer. However, Princess Aiko made the desert bloom, and magical spaceships appeared from thin air. Khromius couldn’t handle the truth. Aiko was winning without any effort! Also, she was laughing at him, because free isk is gosh darn funny.

Aiti Jen, aka Charlie, was rewarded for his generous donations with a bonus round, hosted by a former CODE. celebrity.

Charlie visited the front, expecting to see Aiko’s new navy. Instead, he saw a handful of grumpy BLACKFLAG. bears grinding away on stations, whilst spunky gankers dunked on hapless miners.

Aiko’s emissary quickly resolved Charlie’s concern.

Men of honor can easily reach an understanding.

Charlie was pleased, and made payment.

Was it possible Charlie could pay a little more?

Of course, Charlie wanted to be sure Aiko would stop ganking.

Also, what about the Sunday timer?

Eggheads in Isanamo did their math, and the numbers were clear.

Charlie didn’t trust his new allies, but their logic was impeccable.

Aiko would re-renounce ganking, forever, and Charlie would pay!

However, a few days later, Aiti regretted his decision.

He filed a formal complaint with Aiko’s boss, Australian Jesus…

…and that’s the story of how Khromius helped Aiko.

Thanks for the free isk, bro!