antigankers – Page 20 – ‎James 315 Space

The Day After

EvE Online is more than just a spaceship battle royale.

It’s also a sitcom, in outerspace.

Antiganker EVERESS 88 was proud to purchase her very own Aiko corpse.

However, relations soon soured.

It all started when EVERESS revealed that the real year, in real life, is 1984. That’s right! “They” don’t want us to know the truth, but Hollywood film titles contain secret clues to the real true year of our Lord.

EVERESS was furious when Aiko told her gossipy little clique.

All of Aiko’s friends began laughing at the silly miner.

Even worse, Aiko expected EVERESS to apoligize!

EVERESS regretted her investment in Aiko’s sexy body.

The antiganker no longer wanted to give money to gankers.

EVERESS was so upset, she struggled to spell basic words.

The truth was revealed. Aiko is a BASIC BITCH and a single mom.

This went on for hours.

Eventually, EVERESS decided she was done spreading TRUTH.

*THE END*

*****

In other news, Krig Povelli helped a miner.

The miner’s security status dropped from 0.1 to -5.7!

What happened?

Griefer Mode, Part 2

Previously... double EHP miners were surprised by double DPS gankers.

Before long, double dead miners became double salty.

Raven x1 had an offer for Princess Aiko.

He is gonna murder rape her family, in real life!

He went on for hours, while Aiko listened to other miners.

From time to time, Aiko tried to change the subject.

For Aiko, this was just a normal EvE Online conversation.

She tried to help the miner calm down.

However, he was obsessing.

She wondered if he was serious?

He went on and on.

She simply could not change the subject.

So she returned to her fanmail.

Meanwhile, Raven was working through his feelings.

He thought about Aiko’s pretty face.

The thought drove him crazy.

He couldn’t stop thinking about her…

…and then he remembered her kid.

Raven is a real family man.

However, Aiko was distracted, reading her mail.

How could he get her attention?

He thought about it for a long time.

Maybe he could find her on Facebook?

Suddenly, he had a burst of inspiration.

Why not just ask her out?

Maybe she’d like that?

He hopes to hear from her soon.

However, there’s a lot of other suitors!

Griefer Mode

Against double EHP miners, I must engage griefer mode.

This is war, total war.

Double EHP miners don’t need to fit their ships. CCP does it for them.

CCP loves their innocent newbro Highsec miners.

Nevermind, I guess I’m the new player.

Raven was furious that his double EHP exhumer malfunctioned.

He was definitely not calm.

Yes, this is sexual harassment in EvE Online.

Antigankers are trashy people, defending trashy people.

‘Niceguy’ whiteknight HateLesS protected my abuser.

This is literally what antigankers support.

Alleil decided to tell her mother.

To be continued…

Uedama Gankster Life

Tonight, we went aganking in Uedama.

Honestly, CCP is responsible for EVE.

Blame the developers, not the CSM.

Brisc Rubal isn’t my best friend, but he’s a friend.

My best friend is a fucking gankster.

Tonight, Brisc was doubling in Uedama.

Not Julian > Brisc Rubal brings isk doubling right here to Uedama, send him money and he’ll send you back double!
Brisc Rubal > I’m here for all your isk doubling needs.
Aiko Danuja > WoW! I sent Brisc Rubal 10 billion isk and he sent me 20 billion isk back!

Antiganker DrysonBennington got salty.

Welcome to the Cringe Zone.

The Imperium brought words of wisdom to Highsec.

Why was the next POTUS in Uedama?

Brisc was confounded by the antiganking mentality.

What kind of loser plays EvE Online?

Brisc gets it. EvE is a spaceship shooting game.

If Brisc pays me enough, I’ll vote for him.

Apply the lessons of EvE in real-life.

Here’s your daily carebear.

The Notepad Trick

Yesterday, we learned about the antiganking notepad trick.

Gankers were amazed.

Today, we will learn more about the notepad doctrine.

When you are whoring on killmails, you want to whore on them all.

Antigankers compete to maximize their killboard padding/hr.

IRL losers build their legacy on meaningless killmails.

Future generations might wonder whether a 10’000 isk killmail was ‘valuable’. Ten thousand isk sounds like a lot, but CCP has assigned a value of $0.00015 per pod. In contrast, the average Venture has a value of 6 million isk ($0.09).

In terms of isk, Hyperion pods a Venture each year.

Desperation is apparent during the annual Halloween event (when otherwise destroyed items are lootable), as Hyperion scrambles to kill his alt as many times as possible, pretending that he is actually doing something. Some people accuse me of killboard padding, but antigankers are literally padding their killboard.

Shekelfist took Phyve Solette prisoner, so we could learn more.

Phyve revealed antiganking’s secret weapon.

Send 1 billion isk NOW to learn the secret.

Some people have turned killmail whoring into a science.

Amazing!

When will Phyve get bored of the whore lifestyle?

Valryon’s Revenge

Valryon is an odd one.

Valryon tried to antigank me, but it never worked.

I’m the best.

Antigankers just want to be part of the story, my story.

However, shooting empty pods is boring.

Falcon jamming is ineffective.

Valryon resigned from the New Eden Police Force.

As a therapeutic exercise, Valryon imagined a conversation with me.

Once again, the antiganking community is struggling with sexual harassment.

Valryon exposed a secret antiganking doctrine: the notepad trick.

It sounds stupid.

To authenticate these leaks, Valryon sent 100 million isk.

This is why antiganking will never succeed.

Perfect

Ashterothi was streaming today, with a vibrant discussion of griefing and harassment. Not surprisingly, he concluded that I am perfect.

Anyone who suggests otherwise is trying to scam you.

Don’t listen to salty carebears who cry.

Those people are mental, in real-life.

You don’t want to be one of them, do you?

Come to a FREE Safety. meetup and accept TRUTH.

Meanwhile, Spanish miner Gwen Hekki has been wrestling with demons.

The loss of her Venture was upsetting, and she cried.

Gwen sought revenge, by shooting empty pods.

She has written about these struggles on her own blog.

One day, Gwen realized an important truth: “ser victima sólo era el resultado del descuido o ver a EVE Online como un Farm Village espacial.” To be a victim, is only the result of carelessness, and treating EVE like Space Farmville.

Ice Assassin

Luci Gotti lost a freighter.

So he sent an assassin to kill Sargon.

The assassin was a ganker, but not a very good one.

My elite antigankers always win, with 0 damage.

Afterward, there were some emails.

I guess the assassin is also an ice miner?

Remember, bulkheads go around your cargo hold, not inside it.

There’s really only one response.

It’s guaranteed to get a response.

Always!

Get it Done

This is how it’s done.

I’m a miner’s best friend.

I’m here to help!

I’m the best.

I’ve sure come a long way.

Would you like to know more?

That’s fine, I’m having a party in his crypt.

Everybody knows what happened.

Sometimes, these things happen.

Antigankers are gonna need new corporations.

Meanwhile, I’m doing pretty good.

Feel free to join me.

We can have a lot of fun.

You know what I mean?

It’s gonna be great.

I’m Aiko!

Thanks for the support!

That’s right!

Rusell

As with the old MinerBumping blog, there is often rancorous debate over who deserves acknowledgement, when, why, and how much.

As always, shoutouts are available for the low price of just 1 billion per shoutout. As an example, I will give a PAID shoutout to Bei QiAo. If I had a hat, I’d tip it, but I don’t. You are doing a great job buddy, keep up the good work.

非常好

WE NOW RETURN
TO OUR REGULAR BROADCASTING SCHEDULE

Rusell has been antiganking for awhile.

He’s not very good at it.

James 315 found Rusell amusing. I would know, because we’d stay up late at night, holding hands and talking about the blog.

James was right all along… Rusell is an odd duck. My sources in the antiganking community tell me that he has been trying to rile them up against me (me!), as a part of a campaign to literally remove PvP from Highsec.

Even dedicated antigankers find him to be an extremist.

Now that I’ve become James 315 (in real life, but not in game), Rusell has found himself orbiting me endlessly, at all hours of the day. Wherever I go, there he is! He doesn’t do much, but he is awful chatty.