SAVE OUR POCOS

Jita (AP) – Distant star reports indicate heavy fighting along the Perimeter-New Caldari Front. Nullblobber hordelings have sunk their nasty little fangs into our High Security Zone, with support from antigunk terroristas. Starfleets responding. Who will save our endangered POCOS? Doctor Who, that’s who!

When I heard that ag faillossers were teaming up with some grumpy nullbear Twitch streamer, in order to run out my dear friend Omega, I knew that I had to take action to SAVE OUR POCOS. Highsec is for Highseccers!

As you may know, Omega & Friends is a select group, which ensures that carebear miners and nullpleb Napoleons are continually embarrassed by Highsec wardecs. I may not be an elite war deccer, but my main is, and I’m proud to stand for the right of newbros to pay exorbitantly high taxes on the production of fruit-flavoured planetary biobubbbles and elongated electroid massage tools. Every Highsec customs office is carefully evaluated according to the following metrics: 1) Is it in Highsec, and 2) Is it a customs office? If both criteria are met, then the orbital infrastructure is a beloved friend.

Antigankers rallied to the fool’s crusade… Of course, true to form, they didn’t actually do anything to help Bjorn Bee, as he invested his mother’s meagre savings into a vanity invasion of Highsec. Yes, that’s right. Antigankers had a chance to strike at the very financial epicentre of the Highsec griefer guild, and they did nothing.

The first phase of the war has ended, with a 30 billion isk butcher’s bill for the invaders. I knew that I could never support Bjorn, when I heard him say on comms, “We are going to lose this fight. Oh well, I expected that. Let’s just feed them the rest of the fleet.” Wow. With an admiral like that, and no SRP, you might as well self-destruct.

I was there, at the battle of the POCOLOCO.

I personally led the final counteroffensive.

Everybody was grateful for the help of our Highsec friends.

However, there were a few concerns.

Where’s the Beef?

Antigankers are kinda stupid.

They enjoy shooting empty pods, and never understand that multiboxers find it helpful. Nobody wants to repetitively click the dock button. It’s quite a convenience to be teleported back home!

Haha, now that is some elite PvP in EvE Online!

PROTIP: Stay safe, and let CONCORD handle the griefers!

Even the best antigankers wonder… is it worth it?

Javencraft44Ace just wants to mine in Highsec.

He begged for peace.

Javen bent the knee, in abject submission.

There was only one problem.

We don’t negotiate with miners.

No matter how incompetent you are…

…you will regret shooting empty pods.

You will gnash your teeth in vain.

That’s right.

You might not like me…

…but I’m here to stay.

I’m invincible!

Dear Diary

Listening to Russian Hardbass Mix by White Sky

Dear Diary,

Codename Pleb continues to whine.

Anyways, we ganked Hedliner and his Awox alt.

Grrrr Aiko, hat hat hat gunkerz.

Hat hat hat.

GARRRR GROOOOONGREEFEREEEEEE!!1!!!!

Now that’s some Pandemic salt!

Also, do you remember DKslopoke?

Now he’s blackmailing me.

I guess I’ll be banned soon?

Meanwhile, in Halaima, I bewitched the Monster from J124023!

Hey, I’m getting good at this.

Even a monster knows how to treat a Princess.

I put a spell on him.

With friends like this, I will never fail!

While antigankers cry, the people I gank are paying me))))))))

That’s right!

Party never stops
Russian through Highsec
Like it’s Vice City
Cyka blyat
Don’t be afraid of nada
Get ready for the drop
Everyday I drink
Everyday I gank
If you do the same, you are my drug
This is how we party

Antiganking Losers

Antigankers are losers, in real-life.

Codename Razorback spent a year pretending to infiltrate CODE.

All this effort was for naught.

He didn’t even get an “I wasted a year infiltrating CODE.” t-shirt.

Codename is grrrr cringe salty. He spent IRL money on a stupid name.

What a loooooser!

Some people hlurf and blurf, whilst others get it done.

DKslopoke wanted revenge, and he knew antigankers were useless.

So he decided to do it himself.

He even made his own antigank corporation.

Business wasn’t so good, and DK needed isk.

Oops!

Antigankers fail daily, always!

When will antigankers discover the TRUTH?

They are bad at EvE Online!

With enemies like this, we always win!

Haha, ok!

I’m a better antiganker than they are.

Hedliner and his Awox alt griefed newbro Hwark.

Now that’s how you antigank!

A Year of Aiko

Hello, friendos.

It’s been awhile, since James 315 died (in real life).

I remember our last night together, when he observed that the wine tasted rather odd, “With a hint of bitter almonds…”

Meanwhile, the alliance endured a cascade failure.

It was awkward, working with a dead CEO.

Would the community survive, or would we shatter?

Last Christmas, I couldn’t go on, knowing that grade A losers like Super Perforator and Hrothgar were preening themselves with the glory of actual PvP champions. Fortuitously, heroes like loyalanon, Wolf Soprano, Helicity Boson, and Trump the King praised me. I knew what they meant, the time had come to overthrow the old dead God, who left us to rot in the eternal hell of a stagnant alliance.

At long last, I did what had to be done.

The Conference Elite has always supported me.

To be honest, it’s not about James. It never was. The Sheik came long ago, with the blessings of karttoon and the VCBees. Hulkageddon was proclaimed, always! Such wisdom was known to James, and he never claimed otherwise. I’m sure he would understand, and agree, with everything I’ve done.

The CODE. alliance was created by miners, to sell barges and blasters.

Fucking yikes (nine years later).

Super Perforator, the trader, scammed the New Order. When I arrived, there were no Catalysts or modules in the hangars of New Order Logistics. There was nothing but cobwebs, and dusty memories.

James did not create the alliance, nor did he lead the alliance. He watched with dismay, as various pretenders flailed about aimlessly, treating the executorship like a trophy. Shenanigans ensued. Fortunately, John E Normus set things straight, transforming a PvRock roleplay alliance into a genuine PvP freight train. Alas, after loyalanon was banned, the alliance never recovered. In desperation, Kalorned gave James control of the alliance, but James wanted nothing to do with a dead alliance. So he summoned me, in 2018, trusting that an elven vampire Princess would know what to do.

Inspired by Sun Tzu and Thomas Jefferson, James believed that a Code should evolve, and worried that roleplaying gankbears would mindlessly enforce the law. What could be worse, than a bunch of sycophants praising ad nauseum — without undocking? James recognized the need for change, but there was one problem.

James died quite suddenly (and deliberately), because a dead libertarian wants nothing to do with a dead alliance. He had no desire to tell others what to do. They could stay, create a new alliance, whatever. Dead men don’t concern themselves with such matters. Whoever leads, they are the leader.  Of course, James had faith, in a lucky lady.

Some people have been hard on James, arguing that he failed to show leadership. He wouldn’t get in comms, accept conversation requests, engage in discussion, or do anything at all. However, that is not his fault. A dead man simply can’t.

Fortunately, we’ve got a better alliance — stronger and more active.

We can do anything we want.

Bee well.

January 10

I am proud of my alliance.

Miners are always happy to see us.

Sometimes, carebears give us advice.

Everybody loves a little qwarning.

Make sure to support your local antigunkers!

Thank you, miner Elyk Salguod!

We know how to have fun in EvE Online!

Sargon of Amerish made a video, showing the path from gank to isk.

Thank you, miner xXDeathsSwiftXx!

***BONUS TIER CONTENT***

I made some artwork, showing the lifecycle of the multibox ganker.

The newbro is an elite PvP champion.

Subsequently, neurosis sets in, always!

Eventually, they retire to Uedama (and log off forever).

Second Day of Christmas

With a little faith, you can double your Xmas pleasure.

HO HO HO!

Everyone is having a great time in EvE Online.

Ringlingdingalingringadingdingbing.

Antiganker alazarr spent years trying to buy every Catalyst in New Eden.

Sometimes, the best revenge takes a really long time.

Thanks for the free cats, bro!

There’s never been a better time to enlist.

Hey, this blog just writes itself.

Gosh, you guys are the greatest.

I really do appreciate it, and it does keep me going.

Ganking is neither easy, nor inexpensive.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Haha, very funny Wah Huren!

Holiday Truce

As you know, there is a ceasefire.

The miners are rejoicing, amidst peace and prosperity.

What a wonderful Yuletide.

Everyone is getting that snowflake spirit.

Nadia Bulkalov visited my award-winning Why Was I Ganked? channel.

James 315 had Ripard Teg, and I’ve got Nadia.

It was fun to meet her, in person (in real-life).

What a total funster.

Ok, cya!

Live Update!