Category: Agents

Guide to Absolute Victory

Guest Article

Hey, everybody, I’m Gallente Holostar, lead theorycraft design team lead for the Imperium.

Aiko made a map.

There are nine systems of interest: Torrinos, Ibura, Yoma, Oipo, Piak, Elonaya, Onnamon, Uuhulanen, and Uchomida. The miners congregate here and about. We have put a stop to all that, effective immediately. Come join us, as we continue our investigation.

*Facts and Evidence*

The miners use their Highsec wealth to rent in nullsec.

We hate Romania, so we started bumping.

Question: If Nagamac mines in Highsec, to pay rent in nullsec, what happens if he can’t mine in Highsec?

Just think about it.

Absolute Trash

Listening to: Cat Sky

Remember Cat Sky?

He’s an Absolute Pleb.

Oh, what did you say?

Now you’ve got my attention (again), Mr Lee.

It’s been a busy week, hasn’t it?

Apparently, RoCket X needs my help.

I’m always happy to help a friend.

There’s only one concentration camp allowed in Highsec…

It’s time to evict these Absolute Wannabes!

That’s called justice.

Nobody likes an Absolute Bear.

Ya know what this means?

Welcome to Absolute Safety.

Zivix Spiroski > u dogshit of a persone
Zivix Spiroski > hunting your ass down
Zivix Spiroski > ALL DAY LONG!
Zivix Spiroski > u don’t know me
Zivix Spiroski > i know u irl

That’s right.

That’s right!

Generous donations always accepted.

To be continued…

End of an Era, Part 14

End of an Era, Part 1

This Juneteenth, we celebrate.

Are ganking days over forever?

Wow! A new Uedama alltime record!

We now return to our regularly scheduled content.

The miners united against us.

They didn’t want to pay.

They had nothing to offer.

Just the news.

You don’t say?

Miners don’t like to pay.

Will FBI tactics work in EvE Online?

Would ISIS Safety just go away?

They tried to stay positive.

The FBI really inspired them.

Well, ok then.

We needed a new plan.

Indeed, this focus was different.

We definitely said thank you…

We were very encouraged.

Someone paid, didn’t they?

Oh yes, that’s right.

How much?

35 billion isk, or mom dies.

They paid 35b, to PvE in Highsec, for one week.

To be continued…

Krig’s Korner, Episode 17

Krig’s Korner, Episode 16

Hey there.

Well, gee, thanks.

My name is Krig Povelli, and I’m a professional.

Welcome to my Korner.

PSA: Don’t leave your Orca unattended.

When I take a man’s Orca garbage can, I look him in the eyes.

Do you want it back, or not?

I’m happy to help.

That’s how we play EvE Online.

Thanks for the free Orca, bro.

Nobody likes a poor.

At least he has a cool bio.

I hope he finds a new Orca…

Rise and Fall of an Antiganker

Antigankers are always salty.

They were ganked, and now they want REVENGE.

First comes the gank, then comes the ‘antigank’.

This never goes according to plan.

CTIRx is one such miner.

He re-invented himself as an antiganker.

Unfortunately, he isn’t a killer.

Just another antiganking stalker.

We know how to deal with them.

That’s right.

Uedama is where the best players in the game…

…get to laugh at the worst.

So he changed systems.

That went as well as expected.

Good fight!

Cheerzah!

What a miner.

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 11

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 1

Another antiganking miner infiltrated my alliance.

Tee Ka thinks PvP is a sin.

So we targeted him, for our own Safety.

So he sent his alts to hunt us…

…and taunt us.

He nearly discovered cloaking technology.

He bragged about imaginary victories.

Eyeroll.

We sent our best bumper to help him out.

When will Tee Ka finally understand?

Meanwhile, his alts began ejecting, giving away easy killmails.

He served as a recruiter, telling other gankers about me.

Thank you Tee Ka.

What a guy.

Still Here

Listening to: 2Pac

*****

Hey there.

Welcome to EvE Online.

In this game, you make your own fate.

I fly with the N.I.G.G.A CODE. SAFET crew.

That’s right. OHGOD <-just take a look

=SIDEBAR=

It’s not racist, according to 2pac himself.

It’d be more racist to let White progressive activists dictate language. If a Black rapper says that word isn’t racist, and he wants everyone to say it, then who am I to disagree? Who are you? Wow, who knew this blog would offer such a powerful learning moment?

o*=Thoughtful and Nuanced=*o

Like, for real yo. You can buy it on Amazon.

Some people choose to be miners.

Other people choose something else.

This could be your perspective.

However, my perspective is much better.

You know what I mean?

Why won’t anybody stop me?

I guess I’m just better than the rest.

xD

I love taking out the trash!