Category: Agents

Dirty Business

Hey there.

Each day brings new friends.

Yesterday, I helped Lady Krabs purchase 12 mining permits.

Then she reported me to the SSR.

The next morning, Mrs. Krabs woke up to reality.

Op success.

Another content subscriber.

Now the Krabs ladies can mine in peace.

Osmon is also the home of my beloved Cultural Center.

I can’t keep a secret.

He’s a real people person.

I’m glad everyone is happy.

That’s right.

Feel free to send your isk.

Works for me.

I wonder how things are going in Osmon?

Sounds like things are going great.

Thanks for the free isk, bro.

I’m glad we are friends.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #247

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #246

Oh, hey there.

I guess it’s mailtime.

Some miners are not upset.

They are quite calm.

Some miners roleplay as notaminers.

No mining in Delve!

That’s right.

This Orca had plenty of ‘no’ warning…

It was all a setup! The miner exposed CCP’s evil ways.

I’m the most upvoted person in EvE forum history.

Unlike some people, I actually play EvE Online.

I get way too much email (unlike James, I don’t have a cute secretary).

It is funny tho.

A mining sniper, and not even his first time…

Bro has been doing that longer than I’ve played.

Send me one billion isk, buy 5 get one free.

Boy, I got so much game up in here.

Wow, just wow.

I can’t wait to hear more.

That’s right.

I won’t tolerate griefing in my alliance.

Sure thing, little buddy.

Ah, but I’m also cute.

That’s my isk/hr.

Hey, I’m having fun)

<3

Welcome to Highsec.

We can play EvE Online together.

Let’s send those miners to otherwhere!

That’s right, go on, git.

I’m a real Space Ganger now.

Tunnel snakes don’t scare us.

I run five successful alliances.

We are all one team…

…spoonfeeding content to the regular workingpleb.

They love it.

Cheerzah brav.

Nobody likes a loley miner.

Loleylol!

Gotta catch em all, and then do it again.

Lucky Charmz

A killmail in zeroes = real PvP.

He sounds excited.

Wow, there’s another one.

Nice job Apo.

Hey, we’re having fun in EvE Online.

Leena Saishi > considering i’m in a new player area

Just ignore bittervet permaloser whinebears.

Bro claims ‘new player’, at 7 years old.

Muvolailen is not a rookie system.

Miners sure do lie a lot.

There’s only one way to deal with space bullies.

Oh yes.

Absolute Manchild

Listening to: Cat Sky Live

Absolute Order has a pro streamer.

Cat Sky is concerned about “gay furry hackers” in EvE Online.

He sure do talk a lot….

…and he’s more than a little salty.

Some people “play the game without paying attention.”

Wow, just wow.

Cat Sky is not an EvE Partner.

Nor is he calm.

What a guy.

He just needs a mining permit.

Cat Sky admits the following IRL offenses:

Grand Theft Auto (multiple counts)
Grand Theft Firearm (multiple counts)
Theft of Motor Vehicle License Plate (multiple counts)
Destruction of Government Property (multiple counts)
Organized Retail Theft (multiple counts)
Assault and Battery (multiple counts)
Terroristic Threats (multiple counts)
Armed Robbery (multiple counts)
Wire Fraud (multiple counts)
Conspiracy (multiple counts)
Solicitation (multiple counts)
Trafficking (multiple counts)
Burglary (multiple counts)
Sedition (multiple counts)
Arson (multiple counts)

He calls us “born worthless skibidi PoS loser toilet goblins.”

However…

We’ve met Cat Sky before.

Here’s his first big movie:

Now he has another banger.

“Piece of shit Reddit toilet bugs
Boiling up out of the skibidi toilet internet
Piece of shit Reddit losers boiling up
Out of the goddamn boring loser internet dregs
Using the only power they got
Little internet keyboard warrior losers”

“You are a fucking skibidi toilet born loser piece of shit ass nobody cares all seven thousand people are trolling you fucking loser ass. I don’t care if you morph into something else, some born loser thing, I don’t care if you do. I’ve had seven idiots like you join the club, nobody cares about your born loser PIECE OF SHIT ASS FUCKING STALKER CYBER BULLY BULLSHIT FUCKING LOSER ASSES THEY ALL KNOW IT ALL SEVEN THOUSAND OF THEM ARE LAUGHING AT YOU… and it’s not some lie, it’s actually like this.”

Cheerzah brav!

=BEHIND THE SCENES=

=FINAL COMMENTS=

What’s the Point?

What’s going on?

Sounds amazing.

Imagine that.

Why are they defenseless?

Why gank a defenseless AFK carebear?

That’s right.

That’s right.

Look at that groupthink downvote.

Reasonable people rarely get upvotes.

Crybabies rage downvote the truth.

Idiots get upvoted.

Bro, nobody enjoys mining.

Carebears are looooosers.

Loooooooooooooosers.

Everyone on Reddit has something to say.

Mostly, the bears cried.

Miners just don’t get it.

Give me your diamonds, or die.

So they whined, on and on.

Boohoohoo.

Boomers boomed about glory days.

Seers spake of ancient prophecies.

Trolls spread cruel gossip.

Antigankers shared tips and tricks.

Agents shared deep state intel.

Therapists offered their diagnosis.

Others wallowed in despair.

Gankers are the same people who play Zerg!

Another invigorating conversation with Reddit[censored]…

TLDR: Stay away from people who can’t PvP!

That’s right.

Why do I gank?

I just don’t like miners.

Kill them all.

Astero Wannabe

In EvE Online, carebears are creepbears.

Everything has a price.

There’s only way to respond.

I sent IceyCreeper619 straight to Zboard.

Then I sent a bill, for a bill.

What a neat trick.

Get ganked, miner.

That’s right.

Every miner has a dream.

It’s always nonsense.

Don’t forget to buy your mining permits.

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 51

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 1

There are a lot of alts.

CCP thought these were new players.

Each character imbued with a unique personality.

The primary purpose of the 1000+ alts we applied into MRMNG was to send in-game corp mails.

Our alts adopted various personas. They would surface posing as concerned linemembers, newly promoted corp officers, Agents of the New Order, Metallica enthusiasts, Hapsburg princesses, marine biologists, Ryan Reynolds, chronically ill teenagers, and so on. Over 90000 corp mails were sent over the course of the campaign, which ensured uninterrupted dialogue with the other 2000 members of Mission Ready Mining (aka Fly Fearless).

Meanwhile, New Order agents ensured Safety.

Tunnel Snakes are a menace.

Fly Fearless had a Snake infestation.

Every miner needs help.

They were about to get a lot of Assistance.

However, Safety isn’t free.

Next Time, on Part 52…

Slowpoke Gets Poked Again

We’ve killed this one before.

Like all antigankers, DKslopoke is an AFK miner.

He is a certified permapleb.

He’s not any good at EvE Online.

He merely pretends to play.

DK begs to be spoonfed.

Without gankers, there is nobody to antigank. 🙁

So he begged Wrathful Hawk to play.

The antiganker desperately waited for content.

When would Hawk find a target?

Hawk explained that antiganking is boring.

It’s only for dumbdumbs.

However, DL was daydreaming about his previous Stormbringer.

Wow, he antiganked us hard.

Good times.

I guess he had fun?

Once again, DK sat on gate, waiting for hours.

Hawk worried DK would go AFK.

The boy has a reputation.

DK drank alone, while Hawk watched two movies.

Five hours later, Hawk found a target.