Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Every miner has a background story.
Dest Royer came from a rough neighborhood.
He needed to express his feelings.
Sometimes, therapists need therapy.
With a name like Dest Royer…
…you know he is a mining machine.
Why else would loosers bully him?
The conversation became increasingly academic.
Finally, James Aiko asked the BIG question.
Dest is one mad therapist.
He is a trained psychoassassin.
Dest Royer took careful notes.
It was a revealing conversation.
My goodness, I’m busy.
You might yearn for the old days, when loyalanon dunked freighters in Uedama, and Super Perforator roleplayed at Ventures in Poinen. However, the new normal is that 41% of all ganking is Aiko. This is my time, my era. This is the future, and the ganking community is better than ever. Ganking is strong, because I am strong, and I am great, and I am a beautiful Princess in real-life, chaste and pure. Sometimes, I regret that I didn’t call the alliance AIKO, with AIKO as the ticker — but I’m not a narcissist.
Previously, we learned of Auviken, the first system to report more Safety ganks than CODE ganks. We then celebrated Unpas, the first system to endorse Safety as the #1 alltime alliance. Afterward, we heard of Waira, the first system to elect Aiko Danuja as the #1 alltime PvP champion. I am now pleased to present, the first system to simultaneously have Aiko listed as the top pilot of alltime, and Safety as the top alliance. Truly, we are well into a new era, and whilst Halaima might always be a spiritual Mecca, Ichinumi will be forever known as the site of Aiko’s impenetrable inner chamber.
Behold, Ichinumi, bastion of Aikodom. The miners of Ichinumi will always live with dread and fear in their pathetic hearts, for their system is 100% dangerous, and that is no place for a mining simp. If James 315 were alive today, he would give me a hug, and whisper in my ear to tell me how proud he is. We would hold hands, and laugh about all the losers, who failed to be here today. Good job Aiko! Thanks James!
Galactus has come a long way, since I found him.
Everyone makes mistakes, but winners don’t quit.
He finally understands what ninja salvaging is truly about.
Galactus enforces the LAW, praising his personal Saviourette.
He has also recorded a message for the antiganking community.
Ok, goodnight!
One rainy day, Alt 00 discovered a miner’s nest.
Oddly enough, these miners felt invincible.
Inspired by the Saviourette, Alt began exterminating them.
However, the miners were suspicious.
Emille Droffer wanted answers.
He considered placing a bounty, but who can kill a ganker?
Could Alt kill Alt?
Emille begged Alt to die.
Would Alt accept the challenge?
Of course.
However, Emille refused to pay.
It was a scam!
To be continued…
When I’m not blogging, I sometimes undock.
I recently discovered a vast empire.
In distant Torrinos, the miners are always AFK.
However, they remember my previous visits.
I often cower in a nearby station.
So they sent their best man, HogTits, to camp me down.
He taunted me.
He brought an entire hit squad.
I was in serious trouble.
The miners knew who I was, and they weren’t scared.
I was trapped, and couldn’t escape.
The miners were mocking me.
They even summoned the antiganking main of antiganking loser Everess 88.
That’s the retard goofus who thinks the actual IRL year is 1984. Like wtf.
This was getting serious.
It all happened so fast.
Fortunately, Krig Povelli taught me a magic trick.
Australian Jesus came to my rescue, straight out of Halaima.
Everybody was amazed.
They never anticipated my counterattack.
It was clear who won the battle of Torrinos.
The wouldbe antigankers began to reconsider their choices.
Everess 88’s antiganking main was losing their respect.
The battle was over, and birds began to chirp.
Everybody reflected on the experience.
One thing was crystal clear.
I have a Highsec PvP alt.
GalactusGalactuss was the only son of an illiterate lumberback.
When I sent him a violation notice, I had no idea he is a disgusting manpig.
I decided he needs a little attention.
Elite vounty hunter Adrian Vexler volunteered, vowing to venerate me with vengeance.
Galacticus Galactus Galactuss watched with concern, as his isk evaporated.
Clearly, something had gone horribly awry.
As he fitted a new corvette, Galactor finally understood the true meaning of Safety.
It had been a costly lesson in space law.
Galactron decided to turn that killboard upside down.
Galactinator understands now…
…all miners must die.
That’s the spirit!
If you are streaming, I might be following you.
Lionear Maricadie wasn’t SAFE.
Get on outta here!
I am the future of Highsec ganking.
You can go write your tears to James 315.
Even my enemies are in love with me.
We are just getting started.
The end is nigh.
That’s right!
xaxaxa)
By all accounts, zak echo was a model miner.
He was a supreme officer of Absolute Order, aka Harmony Order.
Unfortunately, zak did not pass his annual Safety inspection.
Various agents tried to reason with the mad miner.
Someone really botched up.
However, zak wasn’t done expressing his feelings.
He blamed Princess Aiko for his loss.
He made his case, again and again.
Perhaps Aiko would surrender to his manly demands?
It was starting to get real, up in here.
Enough was enough, zak just needed to comply.
However, he had a counteroffer.
He is one scary miner.
Fortunately, zak is quite calm.
He just hates EvE Online.
Once upon a time, I did kills of the week, but I’m just too busy. However, I’m sure the following would qualify on just about any week.
WooF! Now that’s the kind of kill which excites the ladies, and gets an entire stadium cheering your name. Congrats to Votre Dieu, an absolute consummate professional, and an inspiration to law enforcement officers across Highsec. You know, this is quite a bit more significant than it initially appears, as many of the items are undervalued purple mods and unvalued abyssal mods. WoW. Antiganking really failed again.
*WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING*
Miners have a lot of questions.
If only niki lasvegas had a permit…
Meanwhile, VeX1 has been vexed by his own difficulties.
Fortunately, mining therapist zxcxzx got him to talk.
VeX was intrigued by the offer of assistance.
VeX liked z.
However, would VeX trust Gallente Citizen?
VeX was pleased to learn permits are currently on sale.
He caught a lucky break, and got his permit at a 2012 price.
Now that’s a great deal!
Get your mining permit today!
Exanon Alleile began cursing agents of the mighty New Order.
Damien Oxytocin was shocked, when the curse hit home.
For Safety purposes, Damien immediately lifted the curse.
At this point, the curse rebounded, catching Exanon in his skiff.
Exanon accused Damien of lying, but Exanon was wrong about that.
Exanon never expected this plot twist.
Damien never deceived Exanon!
In fact, it was Exanon who tried to bully Damien.
Exanon is his own worst enemy.
Damien did nothing wrong.
To be continued???
