Hateless Blues

Wrathful Hawk recently declared a war on Orcas.

A lot of people claim gankers want to drive miners out of the game. However, when Hateless ragequit his EvE Online streaming career, Hawk offered an olive branch.

Instead of driving Hateless from the game, Hawk is encouraging Hateless to stop pouting and start mining. Newbros rely on Hateless to teach them how to use a dozen accounts to make easy isk, so he needs to get off his pity pot and get back to the daily grind!

Will Hateless save the Orcas, or will Hawk be forced to drive the entire pod unto the shore of extinction?

Desperate for the return of Hateless, many Orcas have fled to his Discord, where they beg him to make peace.

The response they receive, within the Hateless discord, is identical to the response they receive within my Why Was I Ganked? channel. Hateless and his cohort exhibit the same attitude, telling miners to calm down and mocking “emotional distress”.

The Orcas blame Hateless, because his manufactured outrage has drawn attention to illegal Highsec mining.

In the Hateless discord, they laugh at dead Orcas.

#WhyDidHatelessGetMeGanked? is trending.

The miners know who to blame.

Hateless pretends to help the refugees.

It’s not going well.

Hateless denies all responsibility.

Hateless claims Hawk would gank Orcas anyway.

The miners know that’s not true.

Calm down miner = griefing.

You do you boo, take a chill pill = not griefing?

Hateless infuriates everyone with his condescending attitude.

What a jerk!

One thing is for certain…

Orcageddon is nigh.

Will Hateless save the Orcas?

Not likely!

Cheers!

The Battle of Brap

Hello!

I’ve been traipsing through space.

Recently, I found myself in Brapelille.

EvE University sent their best bounty hunter to track me down.

It was a massacre.

Local miners weren’t sure what was happening.

Newbro Kha’ll barely survived.

However, he saw a business opportunity.

Catalyst salvaging is profitable!

Meanwhile, miners kept dying, one by one.

Kha’ll wasn’t even upset.

He just won’t forget.

Kha’ll found his lifelong space nemesis.

It was his first PvP experience.

He doesn’t care at all.

He’s gonna put a 145 on me.

Kha’ll is a real man.

He told me off.

Now I’ve got a real bounty.

Meanwhile, other miners noticed something amiss.

Raja Ovaert scrambled to salvage additional wrecks.

However, Charles Sheldon was mystified.

He was an EvE veteran, but had never seen anything like this.

Major Miner Sheldon soon joined the other wrecks.

Eventually, antiganking reinforcements arrived.

It was a bad day for the miners of Brapelille.

Sometimes, you just need to dock up.

There’s no shame in being afraid.

Thanks for the free advertising!

The Miners of Misneden, Part 4

The Miners of Misneden, Part 1

Previously, miner Nelforce quit EvE Online.

The other miners dared Alt 00 to destroy them.

They tried to bully and shame Alt.

They argued that Highsec PvP is bad.

They refused to pay rent.

They summoned powerful friends from nullsec.

They even threatened the sanctity of me, your royal Majesty.

They called me a witch!

These miners didn’t like me.

These miners were uppity.

These miners were crying.

There was only one way to respond.

To be continued…

Krig’s Korner, Episode 3

Krig’s Korner, Part I

James fucked off, and now I have to do everything.

Ok, fine, let’s see what Ryan wants.

Previously, Warugaki donated dozens of billions to the mighty Safety alliance.

BREAKING NEWS: Wrathful Hawk made a superb video!

We now return to our regularly scheduled Krig’s Korner.

Hi.  It’s me again.  Last time, on Krig’s Korner, Princess Aiko let me out to play and I got into trouble 🙁

Fortunately, Asketus was calm, and I did not elicit an illegal emotional response.  Apparently, those are bad.  We must refrain from emotions in EvE Online.  Any emotional response could provoke an all-out dairy disaster.

I was still in my unemotional Korner when I ran into an emotionally vapid whale.  Everyone knows that I love have no particular sentiment toward whales and I merely wanted an emotionless experience.  Therefore, I respectfully initiated an emotionfree session with him/her/xie/xe/zim/zur/zing.

Princess Aiko says I can get a little too rough when playing. If I am not nice, she will send me back to the Korner! So, I offered my new friend a fair deal.

The miner accepted my dispassionate proposal.

He even sent some free iskies.

In compliance with the EULA, I felt nothing whatsoever.

Inexplicably, the miner ejected from his spaceship.

Imagine my surprise, when he attempted to gank me.

I could tell he was nervous. Look, when it is someone’s first time, you need to consider their feelings.  Don’t just start pounding and smashing.  That could elicit an emotional response, and I needed this miner to calm down.

Just like that, the deed was done.

Imagine my surprise, when he abandoned his own Orca.

As a good friend, I contracted it to him. Unfortunately, he did not have enough ISK.  I almost felt bad, because nobody wants to be friends with a poor.

Regardless, emotions shouldn’t dictate our gameplay.

His space-lunch money is safe with me.

I left him with some dispassionate advice.

Farewell, old friend.

He lingered for awhile.

I felt nothing, as he faded away.

Suddenly, he tried to bait me into an emotional experience.

However, I still felt nothing.

We are no longer friends.

He had a bad attitude.

The Exanondus, Part 6

The Exanondus, Part 1

Previously, on Aiko Danuja is the best player in EvE Online blog.

Exanon Alleile searched for a missing Mackinaw.

Eventually, he/she/xie began casting curses.

Subsequently, Damien Oxytocin encountered a raving alt.

Would Princess Aiko be able to resize these screenshots?

Someone is cursing us at length.

Will Jesus Christ travel through a wormhole and save Jita?

Suddenly, the big reveal. Irie Tsero was Exanon all along!

Your choices in EvE Online will have ETERNAL consequences.

What Would James Do?

Lampuga the Failganker

Lampuga is an expert on Highsec ganking in EvE Online.

He knows ganking is too easy.

Some people have better things to do.

For example, Lampuga prefers to fantasize about me.

However, he doesn’t want to worship me.

I’m just not good enough.

What a griefer!

That’s one strange antiganker!

What a goofus!

Eventually, Lampuga decided to show us how it is done.

Unfortunately, he tried to gank Jett Lli, and lost.

Nice try, wannabe ganker!

Toxic IceCream

As you already know, I am EVE’s greatest historian.

Recently, GM Senior GM IceCream accused gankers of “griefing” and “harassment”. This is the same GM who teleported his titan, to avoid a lossmail. A lot of people felt this was cheating, and it was. This is also the same GM who banned Cliff Ozuwara, wrongly asserting that pulling CONCORD is an exploit. Cliff was subsequently unbanned, but this rogue GM is still out there, trying to redefine the rules.

James 315 knew my pain. I honestly don’t know if I’m allowed to post, clip, annotate, discuss, screenshot, highlight, or paraphrase GM statements. I’ve heard multiple interpretations of the rules, all with their own supporting citations. Unfortunately, CCP is notoriously unwilling to provide clear communication.

Krig has authorized me to share his response.

Click below to expand the screenshot.

Believe it or not, but Safety. is not the only ganker guild. Another group, one I’ve never heard of, ganked a streamer without any involvement from us. Subsequently, IceCream conducted a thorough investigation, and has threatened to permanently ban “without appeal” numerous gankers (including myself). Let me be clear, I had no involvement with this gank. IceCream has even acknowledged that I was not involved. However, he is still threatening to ban me, because my “cohort” is guilty.

I conducted my own investigation. Olanlee Andrews made numerous IRL death threats, including “go light yourselves on fire, and blow your brains out” and “you deserve one in the head.” This miner stated that he understands why spree shooters kill people, and blamed gankers for triggering IRL mass shootings. I find this narrative credible, because miners frequently make such comments.

IceCream feels gankers are responsible for toxic behavior. When a ganker kills a miner, it’s apparently understandable that a miner would make IRL death threats. IceCream believes gankers should be banned, so that miners don’t have these “emotional” thoughts. IceCream stated this is not open to debate, and he will not discuss it.

IceCream is also aware that Kalvaen Voidwalker (aka Lulu) pretended to commit suicide. He knows about this, because Kalvaen is actually my alibi. At the very moment Olanlee was ganked, I was reporting Kalvaen to CCP.

Kalvaen didn’t just threaten suicide. He pretended to actually commit suicide. However, IceCream feels I had no “ingame incentive” to gank for ORE strip miners, since it’s not profitable. The only logical explanation is that I am a griefer, and I left Kalvaen with “no resort” other than fake suicide. Yes, IceCream tried to justify Kalvaen’s behaviour, and blamed me for “griefing” the Mackinaw.

When miners get upset and freak out, because they are bad at a videogame, they know that GM Icecream will always blame us. It is our fault they are having a temper tantrum. In fact, we even told them to “calm down”.

Years ago, when James 315 was bumping about, he was threatened with a ban unless he justified his activity with “miner permit roleplay”. Nowadays, we are told this does not justify ganking, but it does justify violent IRL threats.

IceCream might ban all of us, but I am telling the truth.

The Highsec mining community is toxic.

Kento’s Box

Kento Bento Box has been reading my blog.

He wants some of this.

Would Kento figure out how to get published?

There’s one guaranteed way to get my attention.

The more you pay, the more I put out.

Inexplicably, Kento isn’t even in my alliance?

However, he’s welcome to join!

We are an alliance of innocent angels.

You can always write Aiko.

I want it so bad.

As Sun Tzu said, always talk to the miner.

They say the darnedest things.

Protip: Refusing to negotiate is a risky tactic.

Haha, that’s great stuff!

Nice.

Miners of Misneden, Part 3

Miners of Misneden, Part 1

Previously, Emille Droffer refused to pay rent…

…and Nelforce vowed to quit EvE Online.

He was a miner of principle.

So he uninstalled forever.

Alt 00 was left to clean up the remains.

Alt discovered augmented rogue drones, attacking a defenseless rock.

Smartbombs were deployed, and the threat neutralized.

The drones were traced to a Porpoise, which was euthanized.

Alt 00 began to realize…

…Misneden was infested with miners!

To be continued…