sgtchrispy was caught cheating in EvE Online.
He was botting…
Sergeant sgtchrispy is a hardened veteran criminal.
It was all a scam!
EvE is one tricky game…
Category: Agents
What Happened?
Why, hello there, dear reader.
Once upon a time, the CODE. alliance was a mighty alliance.
One day, James 315 docked up, AFK forever.
The final challenge to his legacy was posed by gankbear roleplayers, who tried to convince everyone to leave the alliance. They called themselves CODE BLUE, and they rallied around has beens, never weres, and never will bees. Their leader is a nobody, who helped place more than a dozen killmails on the CODE. killboard, before quitting and vowing to never rejoin (because this would interfere with his Mussolini inspired plan, to establish a miner axis centered upon Dodixie Poinen).
[ 2017.03.24 21:55:30 ]
Hrothgar Nilsson > my great-grandfather is pure italian ancestry. Benito was his name.
Chemical brother > A lot of people in italy love Benito
Hrothgar Nilsson > Yes, because when there is a crisis, people often look to dictators to provide all the solutions. The New Order is people power, united behind the vision of James 315. James 315 is doing what Mussolini should have done.
Chemical brother > Italian history is very complicated…
Hrothgar Nilsson > The world needs to pay more attention to the history of Italy. Italy has been misjudged, misperceived, and had its character assassinated… So, I say, Viva Italia, and Via James 315 and the New Order!
Alt 00 > Kill: Lexxos (Mackinaw)
Hey retard, James 315 doesn’t like incel Wehraboo fascisti!
When Hrothgar heard James was retiring, he didn’t wait 48 hours. The rest of us were trying to keep the alliance running, and planning a nice funeral, but Hrothgar instantly created his own rival alliance. When the New Order was at its weakest and most vulnerable, Hrothgarlini tried to split the community. The shameless copycat even plagiarized the ticker JAMES. Some of us cared about the New Order, and we were disgusted. I offered Hrothgar ONE BILLION isk, if he would disband his fraudulent alliance, and rejoin the CODE. George went further, offering TEN BILLION isk. Hrothgar refused!
Like most gankbears, he doesn’t want to talk about it.
Nowadays, he only speaks through a beta orbiter.
“I’m loyal to James Hrothtard, GRRR CODE.” members include the guy who conspired to ban the entire CODE. alliance from the minerbumping channel (and then quit, only to return, and then quit again, and then return, and then quit again), and the guy who sent hundreds of agents to eternal damnation.
If he were still alive, James would be alarmed to know these desperate traders have united. Meanwhile, they have all begun crawling inside the ruins, after abandoning the CODE. years ago. Back in the day, some of them declared war on James, but now they sleep with his corpse! What are they doing? Actual avowed antigankers, living inside the tomb, and furiously masturbating perverting his legacy.
Ward vowed to destroy me, and James 315.
Imagine, antigankers hiding inside the CODE. alliance.
When James died, he knew they would try this. Therefore, he sent a psychic message to the oracle, Talas Dir, who left a sign for all time. The prophecy of Talas proves that Aiko Danuja was chosen by the Gods. Exactly one month before the Jamespocalypse, Talas foretold that James would vanish, and be replaced by Aiko.
James always understood the importance of clear, concise, communication.
In May 2020, only a dozen people knew that James intended to retire, abdicating to his unemployed kickboxing ex-girlfriend.
Salty boomers who weren’t even in the CODE. alliance, can probably understand that they were never part of the inner circle, and that is probably why James didn’t bother to tell them about his plans for the future.
It is Aiko, whom destiny favours, as the greatest ganker in galactic history.
It is Aiko, whom James recognized, as championettess of Halaima.
All Glory to the Ice BWitchPrincess!
The Battle for Aikoux
Julian Snelders loves Facebook.
He also loves poorly formatted screenshots.
I finally figured out what he is yapping about.
These miners are crying…
…in real-life, with their real names.
Facebook is a real salt mine.
Is it true? Does Barnes only kill defenceless ships?
In fact, he hunts combat cruisers, with a smaller destroyer. He does it in Highsec, where he must win within seconds, because his ship will be automatically destroyed by NPCs. He does it alone, and he is victorious. That’s elite PvP.
However, miners are obsessed with isk/hr calculations.
Kristian threw down the gauntlet. Could Highsec gankers survive, without CONCORD protection? What do you think? Let me know in the comments!
To be continued…
Miners of Misneden, Part 2
Previously, in Aiko Danuja Space, Emille Droffer refused to pay rent.
Alt 00 decided to investigate the local community.
One miner won a free spelling lesson.
However, they did not seem to understand.
Alt found them insufferable.
An example was made of ‘not a miner’ Nelforce.
He is a liar and a criminal.
Furthermore, he is dumber than Alt anticipated.
Nelforce was clearly unwell.
Who would keep him safe?
Dest Royer got Destroyed
Every miner has a background story.
Dest Royer came from a rough neighborhood.
He needed to express his feelings.
Sometimes, therapists need therapy.
With a name like Dest Royer…
…you know he is a mining machine.
Why else would loosers bully him?
The conversation became increasingly academic.
Finally, James Aiko asked the BIG question.
Dest is one mad therapist.
He is a trained psychoassassin.
Dest Royer took careful notes.
It was a revealing conversation.
Glory to Ichinumi! GLORY TO AIKO!
My goodness, I’m busy.
You might yearn for the old days, when loyalanon dunked freighters in Uedama, and Super Perforator roleplayed at Ventures in Poinen. However, the new normal is that 41% of all ganking is Aiko. This is my time, my era. This is the future, and the ganking community is better than ever. Ganking is strong, because I am strong, and I am great, and I am a beautiful Princess in real-life, chaste and pure. Sometimes, I regret that I didn’t call the alliance AIKO, with AIKO as the ticker — but I’m not a narcissist.
Previously, we learned of Auviken, the first system to report more Safety ganks than CODE ganks. We then celebrated Unpas, the first system to endorse Safety as the #1 alltime alliance. Afterward, we heard of Waira, the first system to elect Aiko Danuja as the #1 alltime PvP champion. I am now pleased to present, the first system to simultaneously have Aiko listed as the top pilot of alltime, and Safety as the top alliance. Truly, we are well into a new era, and whilst Halaima might always be a spiritual Mecca, Ichinumi will be forever known as the site of Aiko’s impenetrable inner chamber.
Behold, Ichinumi, bastion of Aikodom. The miners of Ichinumi will always live with dread and fear in their pathetic hearts, for their system is 100% dangerous, and that is no place for a mining simp. If James 315 were alive today, he would give me a hug, and whisper in my ear to tell me how proud he is. We would hold hands, and laugh about all the losers, who failed to be here today. Good job Aiko! Thanks James!
Not bad
Galactus has come a long way, since I found him.
Everyone makes mistakes, but winners don’t quit.
He finally understands what ninja salvaging is truly about.
Galactus enforces the LAW, praising his personal Saviourette.
He has also recorded a message for the antiganking community.
Ok, goodnight!
The Miners of Misneden
One rainy day, Alt 00 discovered a miner’s nest.
Oddly enough, these miners felt invincible.
Inspired by the Saviourette, Alt began exterminating them.
However, the miners were suspicious.
Emille Droffer wanted answers.
He considered placing a bounty, but who can kill a ganker?
Could Alt kill Alt?
Emille begged Alt to die.
Would Alt accept the challenge?
Of course.
However, Emille refused to pay.
It was a scam!
To be continued…
The Battle of Torrinos
When I’m not blogging, I sometimes undock.
I recently discovered a vast empire.
In distant Torrinos, the miners are always AFK.
However, they remember my previous visits.
I often cower in a nearby station.
So they sent their best man, HogTits, to camp me down.
He taunted me.
He brought an entire hit squad.
I was in serious trouble.
The miners knew who I was, and they weren’t scared.
I was trapped, and couldn’t escape.
The miners were mocking me.
They even summoned the antiganking main of antiganking loser Everess 88.
That’s the retard goofus who thinks the actual IRL year is 1984. Like wtf.
This was getting serious.
It all happened so fast.
Fortunately, Krig Povelli taught me a magic trick.
Australian Jesus came to my rescue, straight out of Halaima.
Everybody was amazed.
They never anticipated my counterattack.
It was clear who won the battle of Torrinos.
The wouldbe antigankers began to reconsider their choices.
Everess 88’s antiganking main was losing their respect.
The battle was over, and birds began to chirp.
Everybody reflected on the experience.
One thing was crystal clear.
I have a Highsec PvP alt.
GalacticoGalicticon
GalactusGalactuss was the only son of an illiterate lumberback.
When I sent him a violation notice, I had no idea he is a disgusting manpig.
I decided he needs a little attention.
Elite vounty hunter Adrian Vexler volunteered, vowing to venerate me with vengeance.
Galacticus Galactus Galactuss watched with concern, as his isk evaporated.
Clearly, something had gone horribly awry.
As he fitted a new corvette, Galactor finally understood the true meaning of Safety.
It had been a costly lesson in space law.
Galactron decided to turn that killboard upside down.
Galactinator understands now…
…all miners must die.
That’s the spirit!
