Toxic IceCream

As you already know, I am EVE’s greatest historian.

Recently, GM Senior GM IceCream accused gankers of “griefing” and “harassment”. This is the same GM who teleported his titan, to avoid a lossmail. A lot of people felt this was cheating, and it was. This is also the same GM who banned Cliff Ozuwara, wrongly asserting that pulling CONCORD is an exploit. Cliff was subsequently unbanned, but this rogue GM is still out there, trying to redefine the rules.

James 315 knew my pain. I honestly don’t know if I’m allowed to post, clip, annotate, discuss, screenshot, highlight, or paraphrase GM statements. I’ve heard multiple interpretations of the rules, all with their own supporting citations. Unfortunately, CCP is notoriously unwilling to provide clear communication.

Krig has authorized me to share his response.

Click below to expand the screenshot.

Believe it or not, but Safety. is not the only ganker guild. Another group, one I’ve never heard of, ganked a streamer without any involvement from us. Subsequently, IceCream conducted a thorough investigation, and has threatened to permanently ban “without appeal” numerous gankers (including myself). Let me be clear, I had no involvement with this gank. IceCream has even acknowledged that I was not involved. However, he is still threatening to ban me, because my “cohort” is guilty.

I conducted my own investigation. Olanlee Andrews made numerous IRL death threats, including “go light yourselves on fire, and blow your brains out” and “you deserve one in the head.” This miner stated that he understands why spree shooters kill people, and blamed gankers for triggering IRL mass shootings. I find this narrative credible, because miners frequently make such comments.

IceCream feels gankers are responsible for toxic behavior. When a ganker kills a miner, it’s apparently understandable that a miner would make IRL death threats. IceCream believes gankers should be banned, so that miners don’t have these “emotional” thoughts. IceCream stated this is not open to debate, and he will not discuss it.

IceCream is also aware that Kalvaen Voidwalker (aka Lulu) pretended to commit suicide. He knows about this, because Kalvaen is actually my alibi. At the very moment Olanlee was ganked, I was reporting Kalvaen to CCP.

Kalvaen didn’t just threaten suicide. He pretended to actually commit suicide. However, IceCream feels I had no “ingame incentive” to gank for ORE strip miners, since it’s not profitable. The only logical explanation is that I am a griefer, and I left Kalvaen with “no resort” other than fake suicide. Yes, IceCream tried to justify Kalvaen’s behaviour, and blamed me for “griefing” the Mackinaw.

When miners get upset and freak out, because they are bad at a videogame, they know that GM Icecream will always blame us. It is our fault they are having a temper tantrum. In fact, we even told them to “calm down”.

Years ago, when James 315 was bumping about, he was threatened with a ban unless he justified his activity with “miner permit roleplay”. Nowadays, we are told this does not justify ganking, but it does justify violent IRL threats.

IceCream might ban all of us, but I am telling the truth.

The Highsec mining community is toxic.

Kento’s Box

Kento Bento Box has been reading my blog.

He wants some of this.

Would Kento figure out how to get published?

There’s one guaranteed way to get my attention.

The more you pay, the more I put out.

Inexplicably, Kento isn’t even in my alliance?

However, he’s welcome to join!

We are an alliance of innocent angels.

You can always write Aiko.

I want it so bad.

As Sun Tzu said, always talk to the miner.

They say the darnedest things.

Protip: Refusing to negotiate is a risky tactic.

Haha, that’s great stuff!

Nice.

Miners of Misneden, Part 3

Miners of Misneden, Part 1

Previously, Emille Droffer refused to pay rent…

…and Nelforce vowed to quit EvE Online.

He was a miner of principle.

So he uninstalled forever.

Alt 00 was left to clean up the remains.

Alt discovered augmented rogue drones, attacking a defenseless rock.

Smartbombs were deployed, and the threat neutralized.

The drones were traced to a Porpoise, which was euthanized.

Alt 00 began to realize…

…Misneden was infested with miners!

To be continued…

Krig’s Korner, Part II

I’ve been away for a while. Apparently, Princess Aiko doesn’t like it when you pull on her ponytail. Fortunately, I am no longer grounded!!

Previously, on Krig’s Korner, I helped a miner.

I also saved an entire miner’s guild.

I-F-L = I Fucking Lost?

Captain Krig always gets his whale.

But, reee!  I don’t see an orca killmail…  Where is it?!

Calm down, Deckhand Julian.  See that golden pod up there?

Krig Povelli > Hi
Krig Povelli > Would you like to save your ship?
Asketus > ok

He was quite reasonable, surrendering 700 million and the Orca.

Asketus > ok thx
Asketus > you were smarter than metoday

I sure was!

Meanwhile, miner Warugaki continues to seek Safety services.

We had been trying to let him move on with his life.

However, he discovered the night shift.

A quick conversation was lucrative, for no apparent reason.

Everyone was amazed.

Subsequently, Warugaki bought a travel visa.

It wasn’t cheap.

When that didn’t work, he bought another.

Why?

Some people just really want to mine in Delve.

Another Orca

Yesterday, we examined one way to defeat an Orca.

Today, we consider another method.

When you shoot the orbiter drones, a sleepy Orca might wake up.

Warugaki was surprised to find his griefer, sitting right next to him.

Oops!

Fortunately, Jesus was bored and willing to negotiate.

Warugaki had about enough of this griefing nonsense.

He just needed to pay a small fee of 100 300 400 million isk.

At least the Orca was SAFE.

Suddenly, Warugaki ejected from his Orca, and tried to gank Jesus!

Jesus thus found himself in possession of an abandoned Orca.

Afterward, Jesus tried to give the Orca back.

Fair dinkum!

It was a great deal.

Nice!

Eventually, someone else bought the Orca.

I’m sure Warugaki enjoyed his mining adventure.

Where is gibasten13+1?

A lot of people (nobody) has been wondering where he is.

gibasten13+1 (aka 100percent loot) has terminal autism.

He was last seen threatening irl violence.

Some people are retarded in real life.

This is what it’s like, to have retards in your alliance.

gibasten14 has a stupid name, with a stupid number.

13+1 is an unlucky number.

He loved that number, and I killed it.

He just couldn’t let it go.

So I kicked him.

Silly carebear, miners can’t be gankers.

However, where is he today?

At first glance, you might think he hates me.

Actually, he is in love.

I’m the most powerful woman in EvE Online.

I’m even the star of my own DALL-E storyboard.

Nice!

Zaenis Visits Aakari

Zaenis Desef recently visited Aakari.

James 315 was nowhere to be found, so Zaenis bumped alone.

Well, almost alone.

Miner blzura was content in Highsec.

He immediately understood what was happening.

This was a bumping.

Can you guess what happened next?

Scroll down to learn what happened next!

blzura decided to teach Zaenis a lesson.

The bully was about to get bullied.

The miners were truly content.

This was about to get serious.

It started with a yellow box…

…and escalated to vapid threats.

The miners were not happy.

They thought Zaenis was a criminal.

They were surprised to learn that they are the criminals!

Some people can’t handle the truth.

tRIgGer3D!1

You might think Zaenis was bullying new players.

You would be wrong about that.

These were just typical Highsec miners.

As the bumping continued, blzura became increasingly distraught.

He just wanted to understand why he was being bumped.

There’s a reason CCP moderates the mining channel.

This is the reality of mining in EvE Online.

#Zaenistoo.

Some people just don’t get it.

This is a war.

We are going to kill the miners.

We have to put them out of their misery.

It’s the right thing to do.

This is the game.

We are going to win.

That’s the law!

Carebears will never win.

This is a High Security Zone (HSZ).

We have the best web page on the Innerwebs…

…and we own Highsec!

Chat, let’s go!

Antiganking with Aiko

Even the best antigankers strive to perfect their craft.

Recently, I decided to level up.

I just won’t fight ships that can shoot back.

Tama is a safe space for my friends.

You are on Team Aiko, or you are trash.

Even big dog streamers are watching me.

There’s nothing else they can do.

Here’s a funny thought.

I literally have no balls, at all — in real life!

Where’s Kalvin?

In ye olden times of yore, the Minerbumping channel was a place where good agents were summarily banned for trivial reasons, with no judicial recourse (other than praying to a dead guy, who quit undocking a decade ago). This happened, for example, when Salah felt Jerry Rin and karma balancer were being disrespectful.

From: Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri
Sent: 2018.02.12 09:33
To: [redacted] 

Hi friends,

I’m writing this little essay here because… issues with certain people, like karma balancer, who has an existential grudge against me for no apparent reason. I even have a recording of him calling me a piece of shit on Teamspeak and saying that all Russians must be bombed… As for mod rights, I’m all for redistributing them, but there has to be a set of guidelines…

Praise James!

Likewise, when Lewak became jealous of Aiko Danuja. Or when Super Perforator came down with a bad case of terminal autisms. It’s the sort of stuff that James 315 never wrote about, because he never knew about it.

Fortunately, the modern Why Was I Ganked? channel is a bastion of due process. We finally managed to redistribute the mod rights, by creating a new channel, and a new alliance, with new guidelines for a new New Order.

Woah there, Iceminer, let me just stop you right there.

Pay rent, on time each month, or get out of Highsec.

Do you want to wind up like Mick Barmata?

My fees are very reasonable!

Anyways… Miners have legal rights, under the auspices of the CODE. and your lawful High Queen Regent dispenses sweet justice according to her regal whim, whenever and however the Heroin decides. That’s only fair, right?

Recently, Kalvin Rothchild summoned his antiganking alt.

Kalvin paid 100 million to be unbanned, only to be rebanned!

It is my pleasure to clarify why Kalvin is rebanned.

Recently, a mysterious CODE.-Safety. taskforce went All-Out, apprehending Kalvin’s mining alt. I found this to be most pleasurable.

Kalvin’s Princess Aiko barbie doll promptly began crying.

This went on for quite some time.

On and on…

The logs are voluminous.

Kalvin, I’m gonna need another 100 million isk.

You done wrong, and I like money.