Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Previously, we met Barnso.
Unfortunately, Barnso did not fly safe.
What happened?
At least he likes me.
Barnso applied for SRP.
Barnso was excited to win 6.21 billion isk.
So he sent me a portion of his prize money.
He also tipped Sargon.
What a nice guy!
Cheers!
=BONUS ROUND=
Molly continues to bump the Miner Hunting Service.
I love my space job!
Previously, we met miner lorrenzo.
He owed me money.
We settled on a compromise.
He would pay me to stop posting about him.
A fair bargain!
I was excited to show my TRUE nature.
I filled lorrenzo with that PvP spirit.
Don’t listen to the whiners.
Ganking is fun!
lorrenzo finally understands how to play EvE Online.
A happy ending!
Play EvE Online responsibly.
Experienced agents are standing by.
We want to help you.
However, this is just a game.
Help is available.
I’d recommend Broadcast for Reps, but the last thing you need is ‘help’ from whiteknight carebear virtue signalers.
You are not a victim. You are an addict.
Seek help, in real life.
Listen to me very carefully.
Personal responsibility starts with YOU.
Empower yourself.
I recommend therapy.
Seriously.
Ya know?
Newbro lorrenzo identified as a STeeLGamer.
However, one gank pushed him over the edge.
The man of STeeL became a pillar of salt.
lorrenzo nub > fuck off assholes this is my first day back
lorrenzo nub > 10 years away and your fucking assholes
1 Of Several > calm down, miner
lorrenzo nub > your botting and now reported
Like most miners, lorrenzo is an innocent angel, who needs a safe space in Highsec (so he can enjoy AFK mining).
lorrenzo nub > fuck you , cant you dickheads just leave ppl alon you cunts cant just leave me alone , already having a bad enough time irl cunts like you take my only peace and fuck it up
lorrenzo nub > your just a asshole who probably cant get laid in real life and has you mom hold a poop bucket under them so you dont have to get up from this game no life loser who can only get back at real life on a game
lorrenzo nub > did your daddy beat you and thats why you have to lash out but ofc your to big of a loser to go to null sec to much of a pussy to go fight actual ppl , instead just gate camp high sec did your mom not love you , or hug you ?or did she just leave you as a baby?
lorrenzo nub > big little girl you are did you want the number of a good counceler ? your dad made good use of you ?or was it your brother ?
lorrenzo nub > your the one crying than have to come on here and think your tough , like your dad when he beat you as child feel better now you killed a defenceless players ship
lorrenzo nub > cant hack it in null fighting ppl who can fight back did you get bullied at school too ? you going to go cry into your pillow when you log off ?
Was lorrenzo upset?
lorrenzo nub > no more upset than you where when your moms boyfriend beat you im not the one who feels good about sitting in high sec praying on defencless ppl and cant even one on one ppl , hell i bet my ship could of took you out one on one
Eventually, the conversation ended.
1 Of Several > Go complain in other chats!
lorrenzo nub > your alliance will be disolved in 45 days
lorrenzo began crying in other chats.
Sargon encouraged him to try an easier game.
Instead, lorrenzo vowed revenge.
His next step was to whine in Rookie Help.
Alas, CCP griefed him mercilessly.
Next, he hired a shadow to follow Sargon.
Sargon soon ditched the incompetent spy.
Cheers!
Badboy0047 was up to no good.
Pandemic Legion went on high alert!
It’s not griefing, when it happens in lowsec. Right?
At this point, the miner invaded Highsec.
Returning to lowsec, he encountered more criminal fagets.
Where were the antigankers???
Eventually, Janine introduced herself.
PLOT TWIST: Badboy is a famous Twitch streamer!
The miners were ashamed, defeated by a girl’s Kooperation.
They threatened to quit the game.
Badboy is just an innocent neuling!
Why is everyone robbing his playfun?
The Miners of Misneden, Part 1
Previously, the miners of Misneden began to rebel.
They vowed to burn Princess Aiko alive.
The carebears had many grievances.
They denounced the sacred laws of Highsec.
Alt 00 knows how to deal with rebellion.
All miners must die.
However, gobloks tried to defend the sleepy whales.
They were doomed to eternal failure.
In EvE Online, some people are really stupid.
Alt was determined to teach them a lesson.
Misneden must burn.
To be continued…
The once mighty CODE. alliance had terminal autism.
Literally, autism.
NOL Director Super Perforator was unwell.
Super declared war on Aiko!
He roleplayed “victory”.
Victorious gankers should stop ganking. Right?
Super Perfie had no time for gankers.
Perfie preferred antigankers.
However, a princess cannot abide antigankers…
So Super Perforator ban/muted all the gankers.
Perfie was seduced by antiganker “agent” Knowledgeminer
Fortunately, Aiko has powerful friends in Highsec.
Knowledgeminer was arrested!
However, Super Perforator continued to harbor antigankers.
Meanwhile, Perfie autistically denied the death of James 315.
Inevitably, The Conference Elite denounced New Order Logistics.
Everyone said NOL is trash.
So TCE decided to form a new alliance, without NOL.
Stay tuned for a brief history of the CODE. alliance.
To be continued…
Bee well.
I love helping Highsec miners.
I also help lowsec bears.
Kuben craved attention.
However, he had no time for poors.
Kuben wanted the boss b.
So he went to the source.
We were amazed.
Kuben is a real money man.
PLOT TWIST: Kuben is also a secret agent!
He’s watching me!
Kuben infiltrated deep inside.
I’m surrounded by traitors!
Kuben knows what I did.
The truth is out.
DOPPLE TWIST: I actually am a secret agent.
I will cut a b.
I done did it.
I have so many names.
You can’t stop any of me.
We are already closer than you realize.
It’s way too late.
In EvE Online, only one name matters.
That’s right!
Everybody knows it.
You love it.
Cheers!
Some carebears claim we are griefers.
In fact, miners are the real griefers.
If we talked like this, CCP would ban us.
We just want griefers to chill.
Horatio’s CEO couldn’t even spell his employee’s name!
After all these years, it’s the end of an era.
Sad!
