Category: Agents

hey boys

Listening to: Ode to Safety

Hey boys.

Another miner was accidentally ganked.

Apparently, he was leaving the site.

So sad.

Honestly, miners really suck.

The whining is endless.

I hope someone kills them all.

Just do it.

A-i-ko!
Beautiful spark of divinity!
Daughters of Eve, we enter, drunk with fire!
No sanctuary for the miners!
Our magic binds again what they have strictly divided;
All griefers are brothers, where our gentle wings remain!
May we succeed in this great attempt to be the friend of security!
Whoever saw the beautiful Aiko, join us in the cheers!
Yes, and also who can only call one ship in this world their own!
And anyone who has never made it should drink from miner tears!

End of an Era, Part 11

Listening to: Good Hearted Woman

End of an Era, Part 1

The incursion community was dying…

Halbarad begged his fellow miners to perish in silence.

However, it would be a painful noisy death.

For example, Roulin insists upon depressing everyone.

With friends like that, you don’t need any other reason to quit.

Despite ending the conversation, quitbaby Roulin felt a need to repeatedly share his dreary pessimism.

After forty long minutes, one optimist saw a silver lining.

What was taking so long?

Andres was hungry, and someone was taking a nap.

Later that evening, the mothership exploded.

Imagine that.

The miners debated paying their lawful taxes.

As you can see, Zilvra Selvaris is extremely uncool.

An hour later, Halbarad Dovanna quit.

Failure consumed his fragile emotions.

Hawk thus defeated another useless carebear.

Esmute shared her timeless miner’s wisdom.

Gankers are easily bored – right?

I wonder who will get bored first?

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 9

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 1

Previously, Tee Ka vowed to destroy me.

However, he done got PKd.

Fortunately, he did have one small victory.

Otherwise, it was all downhill.

Tee Ka salted at all the men in my life.

They agreed he was a little crazy.

He was a real bingo card.

All this attention isn’t free.

To be continued…

Over the Top

Listening to: Bad Little B

=Trigger Warning: This is EvE Online=

Yesterday’s post was over the top.

It’s normal.

Str8taGEM is a real gem.

He wasn’t even raped ganked.

I don’t want to kill myself!

Please don’t make me kill myself.

Ok, let’s look.

Oh, absolute trash…

Not in my Highsedc…

Look, if you are a c-licker, call me.

Boy, he got double podded, and Heydiedled.

Don’t make me kill myself, please!

We are suicide gankers, not suicide miners.

Omg, another one?

See what I have to put up with?

Well, at least I met someone.

…and that’s the news from Highsec.

Mmhmm
Ya
Pop make money
You know I win
I got drive
I don’t need new fame
Paint the town red
Foot to the metal
Called your bluff
Fame ain’t something I need
Money ain’t what I fiend for
I said what I said
Cite the source
I don’t care
I’ll take a whole lot
My happiness is all of your misery
I am so much fun
My love and energy
Can’t talk no shit
I have magical foresight
Give me the chance and I go there
lalala
hahaha

BEHIND THE SCENES

Ganking is Rape, Right?

Everybody knows, PvP is inherently sexual.

Non-consensual PvP is literally rape IRL.

Look, serial gate rapers are NOT cool.

However, Io offers a sensible rebuttal.

Is ganking ACTUALLY rape?

Also, is this maybe offensive?

I find ‘rape’ allegations to be a bit much.

Look, I enjoy sexting whilst ganking, but that’s not rape.

What if I call miners ‘raper bots’ or ‘pedobears’?

I think I’d get banned straight away!

Let’s see what a ‘gate rape’ actually looks like.

As you can see, 2scared was just an innocent young girl.

Uh…

This is the EvE Online I remember…

Miners are fucking crazy, IRL.

At least, CCP enforces the EULA fairly and evenly.

What’s next, bumping is genocide?

FlipDuces FlipsOut

Thanks Goon director! Welcome to my humble blog…

FlipDuces lost a pod.

He vowed to stand against cyberbullies in EvE Online.

It’s his pod, and he’ll cry if he wants to.

You would cry too, if it happened to you!

IRL mass shooter FlipDuces is not scared of guns.

This is why I play EvE Online.

Are all miners cannibals?

I sure love candy.

Will FlipDuces ever find revenge?

Or will he just circlejerk himself forever?

What a nice merch miner.

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 8

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 1

Listening to: Make a Move, Let’s Go – Yes Yes

Tee Ka realized that EvE Online is a PvP game.

His new friends were ready to play.

He began spying on the gankers.

When the time came, he vowed to fight stand up.

Bumper Cultural Center soon found Tee Ka in Elonaya.

However, the rebel fled in disgrace.

The next day, I found Tee Ka in Aakari.

It’s a small galaxy.

As always, Tee Ka had a lot to say.

To be continued…