Glenduil the Slow

Glenduil is a SAFE miner.

CCP gave him a carebear buff, and he feels like a boss.

He put on max shields, and removed the mining gear.

Cool fit bro.

In EvE Online, mining barges have more hitpoints than warships.

Glenduil was excited to earn 1-2 cents an hour.

One day, he met some friendly gankers!

They declined to gank his max tank bait.

Gelnduil is nearly invincible in his Highsec poverty fit.

Let’s tune in to local chat.

Ganker spy Learza congratulated Glenduil on his minimal yield.

Nah, it’s fine bro, just mine like that.

Glenduil was flummoxed.

His minimum yield zero product fit is encouraged.

Glenduil won a few pennies for his time and effort.

Carebears can survive indefinitely in an 0.8.

I hope Glenduil has fun!

He sure isn’t getting rich.

=BREAKING NEWS=

ArchyZavr Sells A Mining Permit

We’ve met Archy before.

Archy was the guy who funded Aikotown.

After swiping his credit card, Archy got bored.

He recycled his Jita trade alt, into a ganking alt.

PvP, not wealth accumulation, is the real game.

Isk can buy ships, but it can’t buy fun!

That’s right.

Abduleljudiopalestino tried to scam Archy.

We gave Abdul some legal advice.

However, he immediately tried another poverty scam.

Sometimes, you have to start small.

…then you can get the rest.

Another satisfied customer.

I was ready to make delivery.

He never did complete his delivery payments.

It was a real learning experience.

I wish him all the best in EvE Online.

=PLOT TWIST=

Abduleljudiopalestino > scammers veteran im fucking noob

Abdul is not a new player, he’s just a dumb vet.

Newbro Archy outplayed a guy with years of experience.

Nice job Archy.


Christmas Deathwish

Listening to: Precious

EvE Online has some interesting characters.

Sometimes they go too far.

This is the story of Longtooth the Miner.

Hey there.

Normally, carebears use a Vexor.

He found me attractive.

Never trust a man who mines in Highsec.

He actually was a new player.

Barely eighteen years old…

Just another antisocial sociopathic CEO in EvE Online.

We soon learned a shocking truth…

This guy is a total pleb.

Just then, Good Girl Kara tried to stick up for me.

Oof!

Just a typical Highsec miner.

At least he’s not mad.

He’s just… not well in the head.

What a guy.

Cheerzah!