Neurotica 1, Part 5

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously… Erotica 1 was a very bad boy.

You can listen to one bonus round here.

Just go ahead and open your inventory, select all your assets, and contract those to me. Ok?

Ok. What, wait? What am I doing? Why? Fuck you.

Here is an authentic customer testimonial:

I agree wholeheartedly that the “bonus room” is just what Jester described: A torture chamber. I had the “pleasure” of becoming a bonus room contestant earlier this week, and it’s just as bad as it sounds. I had just come into some PLEX as a gift and had ISK to burn, so I – foolishly – decided to try out Erotica 1’s “ISK Doubling Service.” To my amazement, I actually “won” and my ISK was doubled. I double checked his rules, and tried to submit more ISK. This time, though, I was told that I had won a bonus room, and I had a chance to earn even more ISK by demonstrating my faith. I wasn’t really interested, but I had no other chance to get the ISK that I had put in back. I got into the bonus room, and after a bit of discussion, I was promised that I would get five times my investment if I showed complete faith. I didn’t want to, but I felt so trapped, and the people in the room were very convincing. I finally began transferring all of my assets – about 5 billion ISK worth – to the members in the room. After they had all of my assets, they told me that I needed to complete a few additional tasks. Once again, I didn’t want to, but I felt like I had no choice, since they had all my assets. I had no idea what to do. They made me read some poetry and sections from various websites.

Erotica decided to try this in real life.

Step 1: He needed to create blogs.

During this step, he exploited his IRL infant’s name.

He also joined OnlyFans.

This became increasingly awkward.

Step 2: His ‘daughter’ began playing EvE Online.

Potential investors were confused.

Erotica was inspired by the inventor of ethical isk doubling.

Step 3: ?????

Step 4: PROFIT

To be continued…

SURPRISE! Part 2

Krig Povelli attended a Star Trek themed birthday.

All ROB’s friends (and alts) were there.

However, ROB vowed to kick Krig’s alt, and biomass.

ROB plays EvE Online in ironman mode.

Skywalker dropped a race card, reminding me of another miner, with a Star Trek name. This was HanSolo01 (along with HanSolo02 and HanSolo03), who happened to be piloting Hulks accompanying Skywalker. As I recall, HanSolo once made an appearance in minerbumping. This miner claimed gankers are racist, because they discriminate against the Russian “race”. Is Skywalker the victim of NATO discrimination?

Regardless, Krig’s alt Lucy had an objection.

It’s the old “It’s my birthday, and I’ll cry if I want to” scam.

You would cry too, if it happened to you.

ROB decided to evacuate.

Lucy encouraged Skywalker to hurry.

Before biomassing, would Skywalker grant Lucy a medal?

I’m a boss b, but Skywalker is not.

Krig: 5 – Skywalker: 0

Skywalker needed to sober up and focus.

Would Lucy get a medal?

He told Lucy to get fucked, over and over.

ROB Skywalker was a bad sport.

He didn’t want to award a medal.

Fortunately, it was a happy birthday.

So, about that medal?

Skywalker was not mad.

He would rather die, than honor Lucy’s success.

Ultimately, ROB was not yet ready to biomass.

SURPRISE!

Krig Povelli won a new 2023 ORE Orca.

It all started innocently enough.

This was a birthday party!

ROB (and his Star Trek themed alts) were not mad.

They didn’t need that Orca.

Birthday boy is above the law.

Krig (aka Lucy) was just happy to win a prize.

Did you know? Lucy is an anagram for Krig!

Here on the SOUTH SIDE, selling permits is not easy.

Indeed, ROB has a plan to avoid ganksters forever.

This will involve biomassing his accounts.

Furthermore…

To be continued…

Neurotica 1, Part 4

Neurotica 1, Part 1

The Sokhar Bonus Room changed EvE Online.

This was a real scandal.

Basically, Sokhar was a lucky winner, invited to Erotica 1’s sexualized ingame glory hole. After several hours of hard study, whilst reading a Wikipedia history of Saint Olga, Our Lady of Kiev, Sokhar became flustered. He began to feel agitated, and this triggered his wife. Someone, let’s call them Justin, might have made an unsympathetic comment about panic attacks. When that didn’t go over well, and Sokhar’s wife saw that he loved EvE Online more than her, the result was nothing less than a literal meltdown. It’s hard to listen to the Sokhar recording, which is why it has been lost to history, but you can’t help but feel bad for this poor woman, who clearly didn’t enjoy EvE.

There’s a lot that could be said, and has been said. An interesting twist is that Sokhar himself insisted no harm was done. However, CSM member Jester the Pleb led a whiteknight crusade for space justice, denouncing Erotica 1 as a predator. He saw Erotica not merely as a video game scammer, but as a real life monster. Ultimately, CCP sided with Sokhar’s wife, and perhaps that was best. However, the truth is less complicated. Erotica is not a griefer. He just wants sex (and money).

One day, Erotica 1 asked for my help.

I am not writing this as Aiko Danuja, a character in a video game. I am writing as [REDACTED], a polite lady from the SOUTH SIDE, a young up and comer from the block. One day, this strange man I didn’t know, begged me to marry him. He also happened to be Erotica 1.

Although I am a successful journalist in EvE Online, I am also doing well in this world. Sometimes, I just want to focus on real life. Indeed, it is lawful for me to discuss my ex, and his convoluted plans to fuck me (and get rich). So this is about my IRL relationship with Erotica 1.

Erotica made a deliberate decision to repeatedly and proudly reveal his identity to the world, with multiple posts across multiple platforms, all intended to attract attention to himself. I cannot respect Erotica’s decision to dox himself, but I will certainly respect his awe inspiring and truly boundless ambition.

He proposed to me, and I accepted (of course). This makes Erotica my real-life ex-fiancé. So please don’t begrudge me if I affectionately refer to him as Justin, because that’s his name, which he so clearly indicated he wanted to be known by. Of course, I’ll do his family the favor of not acknowledging the full name, which places me in full compliance with NATO privacy laws. So ya, we got engaged…

This is a story about a man, a woman, and the fate of the galaxy (in real life). She played EvE Online, and he was permanently banned (for sex crimes in outer space). However, what if he came back?

Along the way, I was guided by George, the CODE. executor who originally taught Erotica how to isk double.

Justin decided to make a blog four blogs. That was in itself problematic, as he claimed to be using the irl name of his infant child.

This would not end well.

On his blogs, Erotica openly came out as a man, who enjoys sex. Furthermore, he vowed to save the Ukraine, as champion of Kiev. Meanwhile, he became CEO of NFT Corporation.

At every opportunity, he gleefully doxxed himself.

Erotica’s ‘daughter’ intended to change the world.

To be continued…

Neurotica 1, Part III

Erotica 1 was EvE Online’s most famous isk doubler.

This is a true story, all people based on real characters.

The CFC kicked him for being too… erotic.

Previously, Erotica 1 came back from retirement.

It was an awkward return.

Erotica 1 is a very nice guy.

So we had a little chat.

He asked some strange questions!

It was a very awkward return.

Eventually, we came to a conclusion.

Erotica 1 is a man.

He is a man who enjoys sex. Hypersex.

He also had a cunning plan.

This was a plan to have sex (and get rich quick).

To be continued…

Special Time

Destiny Corrupted is bad at screenshots.

Let’s check the logs…

[01:01:52] MUHU001 > я бы тебе денег перевел 10 милиона [01:01:56] MUHU001 > дибил [01:04:08] Destiny Corrupted > Вы должны купить разрешение на перевозку [01:04:18] Destiny Corrupted > 100KK ))) [01:05:34] MUHU001 > я новенкий откуда я знаю где покупать я играю 6 день и лечу откуда начал [01:06:16] Destiny Corrupted > Ваши великие лидеры начали эту войну [01:06:35] Destiny Corrupted > Мы только защищаем себя [01:06:57] MUHU001 > меня ваша война не интересует

Uh…

MUHU001 > I’m new how do I know where to buy I play 6 days and fly from where I started

MUHU was just a newbro.

MUHU001 > and what do you want me to raise money for a new powerful ship and also start fighting against you
Destiny Corrupted > A war that is going very badly for you!
MUHU001 > I’m not interested in your war

MUHU was not interested in his own wars.

Even when his alliance is the aggressor…

MUHU001 > I’m just upgrading the character
Destiny Corrupted > I’m just doing my job
MUHU001 > that’s mean

However, he vowed to fight back against meanies.

MUHU001 > I can also fly on my armagidon and destroy all passing ships and no one else will pour into your system
MUHU001 > I realized only one thing for myself, if I die, I will hunt too and 6 people can join

He promised to hunt Destiny.

MUHU001 > I repeat to you again, we are not all of us beginners on day 6, if it goes on like this, we will start hunting
MUHU001 > and our yel will not be an industry but a bounty hunt

He was serious.

MUHU001 > you are very mistaken if I bought armagidon and other beginners mind enough, believe me, I’m not a child
MUHU001 > how better to ship the ship, you would not rush to your conclusions it can become a boomerang for you

Destiny is finished!

MUHU001 > next time I’ll go there to you if I heal, I will destroy and fly not alone but in a group
MUHU001 > you finished the game
MUHU001 > and everyone will know about it you will be outcasts
MUHU001 > a squeak to you and not to seal, you can give normal people just like that

POP QUIZ: How do you say asteroid slave farmers in Russian?

Destiny Corrupted > There is no one in your “group” except asteroid slave farmers
MUHU001 > suck then silently
Destiny Corrupted > Get your whole fleet over here right now
MUHU001 > suck silently I said
MUHU001 > sheep pissed

MUHU was getting excited.

Destiny Corrupted > You talk a lot but do little
MUHU001 > talk less suck more, you will suck
Destiny Corrupted > It will be even more embarrassing when I destroy your entire fleet while I suck
MUHU001 > AAAAAAA SUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCKING

It was a special time.

MUHU001 > FUCK FUCK ME
Destiny Corrupted > Where is the fleet?
MUHU001 > SILENT FURTHER SUCK
MUHU001 > YOU PLAY FOR 14 YEARS AND SUCH FUCK NICESH YOU UNDERSTAND FUCK



The Audio CODE.

Listening to: The Truth About Highsec Ganking

TRIGGER WARNING: GF!

Sargon, with a little help from Tweepsadoodledoo and Don the Dolphin Pleb, decided to try an experiment. What if they fed the CODE. into ChatGPT, and got chatbots Zargon, Sandy, DARPA, and Elon X Shabazz to write their own CODE. So the bots got busy and came up with their idea of what an artificial CODE. might be.

Whilst listening, you may notice a certain similarity to the original CODE. Why is that? Quite simply, even bots recognize the need for justice. So sit back, relax, and read along with the bots.

DOUBLE TRIGGER WARNING: Certain people might complain that they can’t understand the first bot. If that is your crisis, please calm down, and try to stop being a boomer. We recommend listening to the video while you sleep, and see if that helps you memorize the text.

For convenience, I have included links timestamped to the beginning of each of our cherished gospels.

The Beginning (this is where it starts)

The Middle (in between the other parts)

The End (the end)

>>>>BREAKING HOLIDAY SPECIAL<<<<

Ringdingdingalingding.

What’s that sound?

Now that Juneteenth is finally concluding, following a few solid weeks of that dank edible strawberry shortcake, with blue, and yellow purple pills (what?), it’s that time of year again!

Chat let’s go!

I take a couple uppers
I down a couple downers
But nothin’ compares
To these blue and yellow purple pills
I been to mushroom mountains
Twice or thrice, but who’s countin’?

Cool, calm, just like my mom
With a couple of Valium in her palm
When I find six miners and kill them all
Squashed by a b and scammed by her alts
If you got cash, hide it soon

Everybody with a kilo (Me!)
D400 throws the bombest bash in town
Roll up on you like kaloaororaoooidnedlorn
Bizarre, don is passin’ out
naked with a weapon drawn
(true story)

Pop pills, pills I pop
Pop two pills, on stilts I walk
Snort two lines filled with fen
Thought I was incredible and killed the Hulk
^actual lyric

Why the hell you miners think we gank?
We do it just to get your wallet jacked
So okey-doke, packin’ your freighter with void
Don’t give a damn if red or blue
You like smack? Oh, me too!
I pop six at a time

High off chronic
Gin and tonic demonic
At a rave, I’m a whore
I said bounce
Shut your mouth you stupid slut
Droppin’ heroin mesc dramamine
Wanna try? (yaya!)

Some, some, some
Somethin’… I don’t know
Bounce Bounce Bounce Jump Jump Jump
Security Status Lowered

COMING SOON TO A BELT NEAR YOU

Irbukad’s Revenge

Irbukad spotted his arch-nemesis…

Oh look, there he is!

Hahah, Irbukad wanted to grief that miner.

So Irbu contracted a bounty hunter…

How to be certain of success?

As always, payment upfront.

Hehehe, Irbukad had a funny thought…

Ok, let’s play EvE Online!

Contract accepted.

Cheers!

PLOT TWIST: Irbukad was just an alt.

In fact, his main controls two alts.

Another hit, on the same target.

Haha, miners never learn.

Ozran Heti Jaynara > sargon already took 750 from me
Aiko Danuja > i am not sargon
Ozran Heti Jaynara > isk after completetion
Aiko Danuja > Payment due in advance.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > not agian cant fool me twice

Challenge accepted!


Aiko Danuja > As I said
Aiko Danuja > Payment due in advance.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > well aparently when payed in advance things dont get completed
Aiko Danuja > This is not a debate. If you want me to do something, you need to pay. Complaining about someone else doesn’t convince me of anything.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > ok well dont think we are going to get an agreement the penuts are a matter of principle
Aiko Danuja > On principle, I do not work for free.

We reached an impasse.

Ozran Heti Jaynara > he will rage you will love it and you will be praised and payed
Aiko Danuja > I’ve heard that before.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > u know u want to
Aiko Danuja > I don’t know that.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > yes you do i gave 750 to sargon as a taste
Aiko Danuja > I am not Sargon.
Ozran Heti Jaynara > i tottally believe you

Fortunately, Ozran found faith.

Ozran Heti Jaynara > he just was in a troll mood he blocked and will not complete contract
Aiko Danuja > That’s your problem. I am not doing it for free.
Aiko Danuja > Why would I believe you?
Ozran Heti Jaynara > because i love you
Ozran Heti Jaynara > of coarse 🙂
Aiko Danuja > If you love me so much, you’ll pay.

Checkmate!

Ozran Heti Jaynara > i can wait but will this be done today i like to watch 🙂
Ozran Heti Jaynara > hes still out mineing on moon
Ozran Heti Jaynara > just send mail when complete
Ozran Heti Jaynara > o/












Neurotica 1, Part II

Previously, Erotica 1 returned from retirement.

It’s not clear if Erotica ever actually played EvE Online.

He was mostly famous for sending money to James 315.

In return, James wrote a stirring eulogy.

James even made a list of talking points.

Thanks for clarifying!

Upon his return, Erotica visited the Minerbumping channel.

He found it empty and desolate.

With James 315 dead, Genevieve 315 claimed the throne!

Of course, the New Order needs its own blog(s).

It was the start of a new business.

Are you ready to isk double, in real life?

To be continued…