Month: July 2022

MITTANI MAN BAD

I’ve heard the accusations.

*****

EXHIBIT A
(AKA PROOF OF PHOTOSHOP)

EXHIBIT B
(AKA FACEBOOK GOSSIP)

EXHIBIT C
(AKA MITTANIGATE)

This is some serious stuff.

If you want to report a crime, contact the police. I know what a judge would conclude. Case dismissed! You can submit Exhibit A, an edited chatlog from 2007, but it isn’t compelling. Of course, I want to acknowledge the theoretical possibility that there is some truth or substance to the allegations, but…

Mob justice is not justice.

That’s not cool!

Guilty until proven innocent?

I karttoon was right. I would know.

If you enable spergy whiteknight carebears, this happens.

What do we have here?

Wow, an Indian joked about India. That’s racist!

Wow, a gay made a gay joke. Oh no!

I’ve reviewed the evidence, and concur with my favourite sex pest.

Who do you believe?

These are the good guys?

Miners disgust me.

Grrrr Mittanimanbad PEDOWAFFE hathathat.

Welcome to EvE 2022, where my alliance is stronger than TEST.

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Cheers!

Kento’s Box

Kento Bento Box has been reading my blog.

He wants some of this.

Would Kento figure out how to get published?

There’s one guaranteed way to get my attention.

The more you pay, the more I put out.

Inexplicably, Kento isn’t even in my alliance?

However, he’s welcome to join!

We are an alliance of innocent angels.

You can always write Aiko.

I want it so bad.

As Sun Tzu said, always talk to the miner.

They say the darnedest things.

Protip: Refusing to negotiate is a risky tactic.

Haha, that’s great stuff!

Nice.

Update!

After Kalvaen committed suicide (in real life), I returned to Serren.

His fellow Goons were mourning, with a sad mining dirge.

Mongoly led the lamentations.

I wondered why Goon High Command would send miners to die in Highsec.

Plot Twist: Mongoly is a deserter, absent without leave.

Double Plot Twist: Kalvaen (aka Lulu) didn’t commit suicide?!?

Multiple sources indicate Kalvaen and Lulu are the same person.

Apparently, the ‘brothers’ have a history of suicide roleplay.

This is Dumb

Kalvaen is was(?) a Highsec miner.

I beat him in a videogame (twice).

I have no idea if Kalvaen subsequently committed suicide.

That’s pretty fucked up.

Don’t blame the gankers.

We are just playing the game.

I wish miners would act different.

They are so toxic.

Maybe they just need to calm down?

Mining is a privilege, not a right.

Don’t kill yourself over a little isk.

It’s literally just a game.

I have released an official statement.

Miners of Misneden, Part 3

Miners of Misneden, Part 1

Previously, Emille Droffer refused to pay rent…

…and Nelforce vowed to quit EvE Online.

He was a miner of principle.

So he uninstalled forever.

Alt 00 was left to clean up the remains.

Alt discovered augmented rogue drones, attacking a defenseless rock.

Smartbombs were deployed, and the threat neutralized.

The drones were traced to a Porpoise, which was euthanized.

Alt 00 began to realize…

…Misneden was infested with miners!

To be continued…

Independence Day

I’m currently docked up, hiding from griefers.

They are trying to evict me.

They don’t like my alliance.

They want me to be alone.

They don’t want to send isk.

There’s only one way to deal with this.

I will extirpate the mining caste.

Nothing can save them now.

Every miner will know justice.

This is just getting started.

I’m in the zone.

Winners will continue to join me.

Losers deserve our scorn.

The future is coming!

Krig’s Korner, Part II

I’ve been away for a while. Apparently, Princess Aiko doesn’t like it when you pull on her ponytail. Fortunately, I am no longer grounded!!

Previously, on Krig’s Korner, I helped a miner.

I also saved an entire miner’s guild.

I-F-L = I Fucking Lost?

Captain Krig always gets his whale.

“But, reee!  I don’t see an orca killmail…  Where is it?!”

Calm down, Deckhand Julian.  See that golden pod up there?

Krig Povelli > Hi
Krig Povelli > Would you like to save your ship?
Asketus > ok

He was quite reasonable, surrendering 700 million and the Orca.

Asketus > ok thx
Asketus > you were smarter than metoday

I sure was!

Meanwhile, miner Warugaki continues to seek Safety services.

We had been trying to let him move on with his life.

However, he discovered the night shift.

A quick conversation was lucrative, for no apparent reason.

Everyone was amazed.

Subsequently, Warugaki bought a travel visa.

It wasn’t cheap.

When that didn’t work, he bought another.

Why?

Some people just really want to mine in Delve.