PRINCESS THOUGHTS: The end of Juneteenth coincides with Wardfest, and you know what that means: derecho season! Uf, no me gusta! High command is aware “the weather” is of concern to middle management, and we are doing everything we can to improve the climate. I seem to remember a simpler time, when we had another word for señor Derecho. El tindersturm??? Tundrastrom? Tengostrumpet????? I don’t recall, but I’m glad that James315.Space is a safe place without arbitrary nonse.
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Previously on Minerbumping… Our late Saviour penned a seminal historiographic narrative, depicting the awesome saga of New Order agents in battle against intergalactic minery. Kalorned and TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet have long been controversial, striking fear into even the toughest jellybear. Fortunately, as part of the New Order Amnesty Accords, Princess Aiko has seen fit to bring these bad boys back into the fold. They have thus bent the knee, accepting her almighty reign.
You may recall that Energy Minx and Greypses Foryuu appeared from nowhere. Subsequently, after destroying The Trade Syndecate, these mysterious heroes returned whence they came. The fate of the Syndecate is known, but questions linger about the lost year, between the conclusion of Code Ready Gelhan and the The Elonaya Conspiracy. What happened to Mission Ready Mining? Are they ok?
As James 315 noted, “Something terrible had happened to that organization, and it went inactive.” But what exactly was that terrible thing? This, dear reader, is an intriguing question. Now that Kalorned and Tweeps have been firmly brought to heel, the truth can finally be revealed here, as James 315 would have wanted.
Fresh from the New Order Vaults, I am thus pleased to announce Code Ready 2: Kalorned’s Revenge. This epic non-fiction docudrama will bring to light the incredible details of Mission Ready Mining’s stunning defeat, at the hands of Assistance Group (which contains some of the New Order’s most seductive Aiko alts). Finally, we will have official answers. It’s like Christmas, so please enjoy this special audio trailer:
Sex. Violence. Ganking. Bumping. Spying. Evictions. Sex. Betrayals. More evictions. More spying. Real-life threats. More Sex. Buckle up, friendo, the boys are back and this time they have a Princess. Are you CODE. ready?
To be continued…
Oh, what can we say about miners?
They are ignorant, presumptuous, deceptive, two-faced, single-minded, and ultimately selfish creatures.
To quote a great man:
“It’s almost as if the highsec miners want to be hated by everyone in Eve. If that’s their goal, they’re doing a great job.”
“Naturally, all of the highsec miners’ explanations are designed to make them feel better about themselves, and to dismiss the possibility that the suicide gankers have good reasons for doing what they do. The highsec miner doesn’t want to question himself, after all–question whether he might deserve to be hated.”
I do hereby bend the knee to the New Saviour of Highsec, the successor of James 315, Princess Aiko, first of Her name. Praise be upon Her. May her reign last one thousand years.