Leaving AO

Hunter Parker had a problem.

He was in a bad alliance.

Hunter Parker > and ive got 12 kill rights

At first, he tried to bully his way through Highsec.

Aiko Danuja > Hunter Parker why u doing killrights on me???
Hunter Parker > why do you think?
Good Girl Kara > you are hateful
Aiko Danuja > its rude

So I tried to reason with him.

Aiko Danuja > ok remove the killright
Hunter Parker > first 700mil
Hunter Parker > then ill remove it
Aiko Danuja > don’t try to scam me miner

He was a greedy little bear.

Aiko Danuja > you don’t know who i am apparently
Hunter Parker > i dont
Aiko Danuja > They call me Aiko Danuja
Hunter Parker > ahhh your the ceo of a 20 person corp well done

He mocked my small alliance.

Suddenly, he saw the truth!

Good Girl Kara > pretty much sums it up
Hunter Parker > fuck it does thanks for showing me that i fucking dont want to be apart of that
Aiko Danuja > Hunter Parker do u want to gank with us?
Aiko Danuja > ill send u a fleet invite

So we all decided to be friends.

Hunter Parker > i happy to fly with you guys just not kill anyone
Sargon Of Amerish > hey if you can fly a gila aiko says we do need someone that can use a pve ship

We formed a combined PvP/PvE fleet.

Aiko Danuja > I LOVE MY MOM THIS PIZZA IS SO GOOD
Hunter Parker > ok hold on let me buy the ship
Aiko Danuja > lets go TEAM
Hunter Parker > also will i get a % of anything?

Once again, he tried to extort me.

Hunter Parker > im omw now btw
Hunter Parker > also im in a proteus
Hunter Parker > not a gila
Hunter Parker > this is the fit i used when i did l4 missions lol

He also changed ships, without asking the FC’s permission.

Hunter Parker > it has get more dps
Sargon Of Amerish > whats your ehp?

Unfortunately, his new ship could not handle the incoming damage.

Hunter Parker > haha
Sargon Of Amerish > is it ZERO?

At least he finally left that terrible alliance.

That’s right.

That’s right!

07 capsuleers!

Hedvard Gets Owned

Hedvard Vetranax met his fate and destiny.

…and they said I never leave Highsec?

I know what men really want.

To Princess Aiko, Keeper of the Drones
From: Hedvard Vetranax

They want to write poems (about me).

Princess Aiko, jewel of the Chain,
I’ve chased through fire, through void, through flame.
I’ve broken pirates, kings, and fleets,
Yet found defeat where our destinies meet.

The whispers say I threw the fight,
That somehow I forgot my might.
They ask, “Why didn’t the Astero burn?
Why let the heatless modules turn?”

The answer’s simple—though hard to confess,
A deputy can falter, I guess.
When your ship appeared upon my scan,
My courage fled my careful plan.

My heat racks waited, cold and still,
Unused by choice, not lack of will.
The overheat lights never shone…
For fear I’d leave you podded… alone.

What glory lies in molten steel,
If victory ends what I might feel?
Better an honest bruise to pride
Than scorch the star where hopes reside.

Yet let no soul mistake the tale—
Your victory was no fairy tale.
Those faithful drones obeyed your hand
Like knights responding to command.

They struck with grace, returned with speed,
Each recall timed to meet the need.
No drone was wasted, left to die;
You ruled the field with watchful eye.

I watched them weave through fire and smoke,
Each perfect orbit, every stroke.
A captain’s worth is plainly shown;
By how she guides each faithful drone.

So if they ask why heat was spared,
Or why my armor wasn’t repaired,
Tell them this, and tell it true:

A deputy may hunt the stars…

But even Bulldogs lose their nerve…

When fighting someone worthy of their heart.

Until the next duel beneath Anoikis’ endless skies!

Maybe he should make this into a song?

What a good little boy.

Yes, there’s more!

…but why did he set me to red standing?

Hedvard Vetranax > girls make me nervous

You know what I really like?

Songs about me…

I’m the star!


Now, Hedvard just needs to send isk (and lots of it).

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #359

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #358

ALERTO! ALERTA! ALERTI!

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

I get a lot of email.

They also write my friends.

I’m not sure what they are going on about.

Everybody has something to say.

I really don’t know what to say.

What does it mean?

I guess that makes sense…

They just assume I understand.

I receive many interesting offers.

This can be very lucrative!

That’s right.

That’s the plan.

Isn’t that special?

Here’s a long one…

Bro, I don’t speak Polish.

Why not?

Naturally, I explained my lawful CODE.

He didn’t like the answer!

Goddess Aiko

My name is Aiko Danuja.

Everybody thinks I’m great.

Objectively, I’m the best player in the history of EvE Online.

I was voted “coolest hottest best of the best”!

I also made an elite top tier PvP alliance!

That’s right.

Just read these customer testimonials!

That’s right!

Many miners purchase multiple permits!

I think it’s kinda funny…

o7 capsuleers!